Al Jourgensen Supports Antifa, and He Has Ugly Dreadlocks

My friend Stephen Sigl and I decided that the once respectable Ministry is now dead to us after seeing the video for their (well, his) new song, “Antifa.”

I think, if you’ve read this blog before, you’re aware of what Antifa is, and you’d thus be against it. But, just as a reminder, Antifa is the far left group of so called “activists”, who claim that they’re fighting “fascism” by using coercive tactics, such as violently attacking people, starting riots, and just being an overall public nuisance, in the name of spreading “tolerance.”

Watch this travesty of a video, which so far has garnered 5,000 down votes (one of which is mine) and only 2,000 up votes, on youtube:

Ministry is of course the one-man industrial metal project from Al Jourgensen, who over the years has put out many fine albums, including Twitch, The Land of Rape and Honey, The Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Taste, and Psalm 69: The Way to Succeed and the Way to Suck Eggs.

He’s also put out ones with FUNNY titles like Dark Side of the Spoon, Houses of the Molé, and Rio Grande Blood.

And Jourgensen HAS delved into politics before; in fact, just about every song on every album he made during the 00s was about George W. Bush and the Iraq war. But, where those were just criticisms, albeit repetitive ones, of an unpopular policy, Jourgensen, who now has hideous dreadlocks and a tackle box face, has gone full nut job, actually ENDORSING the Antifas in his latest music video, which was made to promote his new album, cleverly titled… ready for this… AmeriKKKant

I wonder if my reaction to Jourgensen’s taking on a pro-Antifa stance is similar to how some people reacted when Skrewdriver became a white power band in 1983.

Nah, I’m guessing not. See, I’m not offended that he took this stance; after all, I bought the Brujeria t-shirt, that has Donald Trump with a machete through his head because, after all, it looks fucking cool! And, if I was Trump, I’d WEAR the shirt. No, my problem with Jourgensen taking on a pro-Antifa stance is that he cheapened his art by OFFICIALLY endorsing a side. You see, JUST criticizing an unpopular policy need not be a partisan act. After all, I AGREE with Jourgensen that the Iraq war was a big ol’ waste, leading to the needless death of Americans and Iraqis, while shooting our national debt sky high, and helping to create a whole new group of enemies for the world to have to deal with in the form of ISIS.

But, then, when Obama took over for Bush, he shot our national debt even higher, droned and bombed MORE countries in the Middle East, and even helped depose Muammar Gaddafi, effectively destabilizing Libya for reasons unknown. And where was Jourgensen then?

Then, Trump gets elected, and everyone who hates him calls him “literally Hitler”, even though he’s really just a fun ‘n’ boorish New York multi-billionaire with a loose mouth, but an otherwise populist platform, that threatens the globalist elite. Then, in an act of “protest”, Jourgensen decides to endorse a violent, left-wing extremist group. My guess? He’s trying to stay relevant. Otherwise, I’m at a loss for words; he can’t be THAT dumb, can he? But, I do know one thing; it’s going to be difficult to listen to “Jesus Built My Hot Rod”, “Stigmata”, or “New World Order” ever again.

You Can’t Bring Your Dick Back, but You Can Kill Muslims

george_takai_militaryI know it’s hard for the precious reader to fathom the idea that the person writing this piece has ever had trouble with the ladiez, but it’s true! There are times when I go out to the bar, talk to a few broads and strike out! I realize that I look unfathomably good, but it indeed does happen. I’m trying to make myself look better through a tough workout and diet regimen, which will flatten my stomach and bring out my chest, so I strike out less. But indeed, there are nights – many of them – where I’m forced to retreat to my room and have sex by my lonesome, coming up with all manner of depraved scenario in my head (I don’t watch very much pornography), giving myself the satisfaction I was unable to obtain via some skank or lonely barfly.

Of course I’m not alone in this regard; most men aren’t Casanovas. And, since our teachers taught us in sex ed that strokin’ the ol’ pole is a natural function, there’s nuthin’ to be ashamed of. In fact, it’s damn near necessary sometimes. Hell, it’s SO necessary, that when you HAVEN’T jerked off in a while, your body will force you to extract some of your milky, white testicle ooze during a wet dream.

And just to gross out the reader even more, when I was drunkenly and sloppily banging Jo the ex-stripper, who does the “fill in puzzles”, and I kept pumping and pumping and pumping, blowing one wad after another and charging back up within seconds before pumping and pumping and pumping some more, she asked the fundamental question about the male sex drive; “aren’t you satisfied?” In fact, she privately messaged me and told me “you were like a machine last night!”

Machine-like fucking notwithstanding, she understood that the male sex organ, the DICK, if you will, CRAVES satisfaction; that rising feeling that keeps getting better and better and better until it peaks and a release occurs, causing semen to shoot out of the tiny slit in the head of the mushroom. When women say, “guys only think with their dicks”, they’re right. The NEED to satisfy the urge is so incredibly strong that guys will lose friendships, get into fights, risk their lives, accumulate great amounts of wealth and build entire civilizations because of it; men have gone to war, and empires have been destroyed because of it. I’m not going to go into the specific seduction techniques a woman would need to control a man via the power of the male sex drive, but let’s put it this way; if you’re a woman of even moderate attractiveness, you pretty much never need to work.

On top of that, many women have NO IDEA how therapeutic sex can be. People say music soothes the savage beast. Wrong; sex does. It releases endorphins, truly taking the “edge off” a shitty day and calming the nerves. In Falling Down, all Michael Douglas needed  was a good blowjob…

So, what happens when you can’t relieve the tension in your loins?

The most striking thing about Born on the 4th of July was how Tom Cruise’s character had lost his dick in Vietnam. The fact that he had to piss through a tube was bad enough, but the hooker he hired was utterly useless. What could she do for him? Rub his back? Lick his ear? Those are the things you do to tease a man before giving him the payoff, that is pleasuring his holy mushroom. Hell, my dick instantly hardens when someone rubs my nipple. All pleasure sensations eventually lead to the dick, and he didn’t have one.

In Sam Fuller’s World War II epic, The Big Red One, after an explosion, one of the characters feels around his crotch and excitedly exclaims, “I still have my dick!” And don’t think there is ANYTHING funny about that. You could lose both arms, both legs, both ears and both eyes, have your tongue sliced off and half your face blown off, but if there’s a woman who can stomach blowing or fucking you, somehow life JUST doesn’t seem so bad.

You’re probably thinking, “yeah, okay, okay, I get it. Guys need their dicks, but what’s you point?”

I’m getting there, asshole!

Trannies are this week’s topic du jour thanks to Donald Trump banning them from serving in the military. And, while I have no problem with this decision, all sorts of issues have been brought up with regards to this sub-sub-sub-sub sect of society, one that nobody even thought about until some mentally ill assholes decided to shove their daddy issues down everyone’s throats.

“Transgenderism” is completely made up bullshit. You’re either a transvestite, which means you enjoy wearing women’s clothing, or you’re a transsexual, which means you had your dick cut off and replaced with an artificial vagina.

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And don’t get me wrong; I love John Waters’ films, but I would NEVER considered Divine to be a woman, and neither does John Waters.

“But, Edwin”, you say, “I STILL don’t understand what this has to do with men needing their dicks.”

Well, dipshit, what happens when a man becomes a transsexual? He done can’t use his dick no mo’. The physical male pleasure center is GONE, baby, and it ain’t NEVER comin’ back. I’ve read that the phony vagina uses the same nerves from the original penis, and the penis head is crafted into a clitoris of sorts, but I highly doubt the same satisfaction is ever achieved again. I mean REAL women, ya know, the ones who were born with a vagina, a uterus, an XX chromosome and the estrogen that makes them so emotional, complain that they have a hard time getting off. So the idea that one could achieve with an artificial vagina the same satisfaction one once achieved with his dick is pretty hard to believe.

Of course, the man who decided to become a “woman” knew all of this, right? Well, you would think. One of the biggest arguments against the “transgender” trend is that there is a 40% rate of suicide associated with it. The most popular and naturally foolhardy explanation for the high rate of suicide among trannies is that they get bullied and harassed to the point of wanting to off themselves.

Think about this VERY carefully… VERY VERY VERY carefully…

WHAT FUCKING GROUP OF PEOPLE HASN’T BEEN HARASSED AND BULLIED AT SOME POINT DURING HUMAN HISTORY??!!

According to this article, the high suicide rate among “transgendered” people has nothing to do with discrimination, but their high level of mental illness and depression. I’ll take it one step further. I would LOVE to see an HONEST study which EXPLICITLY measures the suicide rates of post-op trannies; because, you know what we call pre-op trannies in non-retarded land? MEN WHO DRESS LIKE WOMEN!!!

And remember, once you make the “transition” to the dickless side, there is no going back; no more nights of looking at whatever gives you a boner and relieving tension in a few simple strokes; no more splattering your goo onto your bedroom wall or sex partner’s face; no more endorphin release… it’s ALL gone…

On the other hand, if the ridiculous idea of aiding and abetting a dinky percent of the population pans out though Supreme Court fiat, and trannies are eventually allowed to serve in the military, they could relieve all their pent up sexual frustration by blowing away Islamic terrorists, so I guess it’s a win win.

Rap Metal Against Racism

limp_bizkit_antifaProbably the stupidest, yet longest lasting argument in the punk rock underground is whether a person can listen to a band in spite what they stand for. I remember getting chastised for professing my love for… ready for this… BAD BRAINS. One would think that being a fan of the Bad Brains, the all black punk band from Washington, D.C., would be the ultimate virtue signal, right?

Nope. As it turns out, the Bad Brains weren’t too fond of homos, and they weren’t quiet about it either. They attacked fellow hardcore bands like the Dicks, the Big Boys and Hüsker Dü for being “bloodclot faggots.” See, the Bad Brains adopted Rastafarian culture, and one thing the Rastafarians, much like the Muslims, can’t stand are “bloodclot faggots.” Now, does that matter to me personally? Of course not. I just like their music; super tight and fast hardcore punk with metal riffs and the occasional reggae jam thrown in. Most of the time I can’t even understand what they’re saying.

But I was yelled at for being one of those guys who “only cares about the music.” I’M NOT KIDDING. I was accused of not being righteous enough, of ONLY caring that I liked the music. You can probably assume that, for some of these people, listening to Skrewdriver is completely out of the question. I’ve talked about Skrewdriver before, but as a refresher, they were a 70s punk band that dressed like skinheads and released a couple of singles and one album of normal, generic, but still pretty catchy punk rock before their singer, Ian Stuart, continued to use the name with a whole new set of backing musicians and reinvented them as a white power band. And musically speaking, they’re okay.

Actually this type of thought policing has become pretty common in punk rock and other underground music genres; among other things, it has lead to bands being thrown off festivals and out of gigs for allegedly having “nefarious” views. “What? Your band was released by THAT label?” “You were seen hanging out with THAT guy?” “I KNOW what those symbols REALLY stand for, bucko! We’re hip to your game!”

Hey look! Here’s Wattie from the Exploited hanging out with what looks like a Nazi skinhead.

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But look at this! Here he is hanging out with a black guy wearing a Motörhead t-shirt!

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Well, fuck me sideways! Which one is it? Is he a Nazi, or is he not a Nazi? I don’t know, and I won’t ever again be able to listen to the Exploited until this issue is resolved.

Sadly, with such a low bar set on the quality of the music, and such a high bar set on “social justice”, the question I have for Antifas, punk rockers and other underground music weirdos is, “how SHITTY will you let your music get provided that the band shares your views?” Case in point, this brand spanking new video from a band called Stray From the Path. Go ahead, watch the video. I dare ya!

Not sure how far you got into video, but it’s not good. First, there’s the music. After a few bars of pick slides going up and down the guitar neck set to a funky drum beat, the singer, who (perhaps ironically) has a similar haircut to Milo Yiannopoulos and sounds like the singer from Rage Against the Machine, shouts “you just got knocked the fuck out!”; then a generic, overly-compressed, nu-metal riff plays behind his whiny, white boy rapping. Some of the phrases I could make out in the song include “fist held high”, “punishment fits the crime”, “racist President”, “it’s 2017”, “eye for an eye”, “that’s what he said”, “fuck him, and fuck you too”…

…did he just say, “we used to never let these dickheads have any control”? Which “dickheads” is he talking about? Is he implying that, back in the day, his righteous peeps, who don’t look like their older than 25, never let the Nazi skinheads have control of a venue?

Back up the train, negro. Since I was 14 years old, back in the late 90s, I started going to shows at Harpos in Detroit, where I saw Gwar (where my ex Melissa fucked Dave “Oderus Urungus” Brockie!), the Misfits (with Michale Graves, the place was packed!), the Dead Kennedys (with Brandon Cruz, only about 20 people showed up!), Danzig, Clutch, Corrosion of Conformity, Manowar, Motörhead, Cradle of Filth, Rotting Christ, Usurper, Six Feet Under, Murphy’s Law, Cannibal Corpse and even heavy metal’s number one homo ROB MOTHERFUCKING HALFORD. The place was known as a hangout for neo-Nazis, and I’ve even met a few. Someone told me a story where a bunch of Nazi skinheads started fights and pushed people around at G.B.H. and Napalm Death shows since both of those bands are openly anti-racist. At the Danzig gig, I saw a bunch of them doing Hitler salutes. Now, is chunky Milo implying in the video that he and his peeps would have taken a stand against these guys, many of whom are built like linebackers and either fresh out of or on the way to prison? I’m sure that would have worked out REALLY well.

…other choice passages from the song include “preach hate”, “what makes you think that you’re the superior race?!” and of course the very original “NAZI PUNKS FUCK OFF!!!”.

But secondly, and barring the fact that the band members don’t look too different from what many AltRighters look like, the video tells the story in which a guy in a MAGA hat goes into his home, where he has a Hitler poster and a bunch of swastikas on his wall and a TV playing clips of Richard Spencer at one of his “identitarian” conferences, and plan some sort of terrorist attack, only to have his plans foiled by “brave” anti-racist “activists”, who break into his home, mug him at gun point, beat him down, tie him up and tattoo a swastika onto his forehead.

I mean, I can’t even. Andy Nowicki and I disagree over which is the more important problem with the video; that it sets up a ridiculous straw man, saying it’s okay to beat up anybody who you perceive to be a Nazi, which Richard Spencer is most certainly not (they could have at least gotten it right and put Andrew Anglin on the TV) or that the song sucks ding dongs. I say the latter. As of this writing, the “Goodnight Alt-Right” video has received 16,301 dislikes (one of which is mine, thank ya very much!) and 2,960 likes. It’s not totally clear if most viewers of the video don’t agree with the message, just think the song blows or both. If you want a video with a stupid, “anti-Nazi” message that’s set to a good song by a good band, click here! At least the Off! video resembles a grindhouse flick and has Brian Posehn, Dave Foley and David Yow playing Nazis in it.

But the question I have for the Antifas, punks and underground music weirdos is: are you okay with rap metal just as long as they don’t do it just for the nookie?

 

The Red Pill

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I’m truly thrilled that The Red Pill, the documentary from Cassie Jaye about her “journey” from being a feminist to not being a feminist via the Men’s Rights movement, has received an 8.7 on IMDB and a 90% on Rotten Tomatoes. Honestly, I am. It means people are opening their eyes and starting to listen to something other than the mainstream, “women is so oppressed” narrative.

But let’s be honest here; unless you’re an anorexic, nerdy sissy boy, who only hung out with kinda cute, glasses wearing hipster gurlz, the ones that LOVED being your friend, but made you wonder why YOU’RE always being friend-zoned in favor of guys with a fraction of your intelligence, and THEN made you feel GUILTY for complaining about it, there is nothing particularly groundbreaking about The Red Pill. The movie treats feminism as if it’s the main problem in our society, rather than one of the many weapons used by the cultural Marxist and globalist beast to try to destroy Western civilization; in fact, the notion that it could even BE a left/right, or rather globalist/anti-globalist issue, isn’t even touched upon. I’ve never considered myself a Men’s Rights activist. Many of the figureheads in the men’s movement don’t even see it as a left/right issue. I’ve actually known many “anti-feminist” men who don’t realize that feminism IS a form of leftism, and that supporting anyone on the left IS supporting the very ideology they say they’re against. Or to put it more succinctly, A Voice for Men editor Dean Esmay’s support for Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump in the 2016 election is tantamount to a civil rights leader in the 1960s supporting George Wallace.

There is a segment that lasts all of one minute – among 120 of them – that addresses how, in the 60s, the equality warriors switched their target from capitalism to patriarchy, but it’s so dinky, that one wonders why Jaye even bothered putting it in the movie in the first place.

But if we’re going to REALLY be addressing the elephants in the room, and if above all else, film is a visual medium, where the images are intended to elicit a reaction, it’s actually kind of infuriating watching shots of the cutie Cassie Jaye, who resembles a plumper, rounder Christina Applegate – don’t worry, Cassie, I wouldn’t make you lose 15 lbs. to have a seat on MY casting couch – interviewing pathetic looking, depressing old men, as they tell their stories about losing everything to a system that’s stacked against them.  I mean, JUST THE FACT that she’s IN the frame with them getting all misty eyed, listening to them talk about how they got royally screwed, while not addressing how incredibly privileged she is in our society by being blessed with hotness, struck me as painfully disingenuous. I mean, sheeyit, lady, you may be a narcissist, but do you have to make it that obvious? But who knows? Maybe this will lead to other women joining in an anti-feminist insurrection.

In The Red Pill, Jaye interviews key figures in the Men’s Rights movement; honestly the only ones I recognized were Paul Elam, Dean Esmay and Karen Straughan; I’m too lazy to look up the rest of ’em. One of them was a 60s male feminist, but changed tracks when he realized all that “freedom” women achieved by tossing off the “shackles” of their normal, middle class lives in favor of becoming spinsters and cat ladies didn’t provide the satisfaction they once imagined it would. But basically, we learn about all of the typical men’s rights talking points; women who trick men by not taking their birth control and enslaving them to a life of child support payments; men who see their coffers depleted in custody battles only to get to see their kids a couple hours a week; female on male spousal abuse not being taken seriously; male rape not being taken seriously; lighter prison sentences for women for the same crimes men committed; men working life threatening jobs to provide for their families only to be told they’re oppressing women; the male/female wage gap myth; and of course there’s a bit of male circumcision thrown in at the end for all the mondo fans. Don’t tell the Jews, though; they may get this movie shut down in your town (psst, I’m allowed to say that because I am one)!!!

We’re also given the counterpoints to these arguments from some harpy at Ms. magazine, some gay Jewish guy and of course the loud, shrill and obnoxious Big Red, who kinda resembles my former friend Sarah.

But another thing that bothered me about the movie is that it didn’t really address how feminism negatively affects women. Maybe Cassie Jaye hasn’t learned about hypergamy yet or that the only things feminism really accomplished was making it easier for men to get laid since it made women sluttier, while boosting the sales for antidepressants and keeping pet store owners in business. At VERY least, Jaye addresses that getting catcalled and having to look pretty (aww, poor baby) don’t really seem to be that big of problems in comparison with getting crushed to death in a coal mine avalanche, getting blown to bits on a battle field or having your life savings drained. And hey, in about 20 years, once the flesh starts to sag and wrinkles start to show, she won’t even HAVE to worry about getting catcalled.

A decade ago, when I was at Grand Valley State University, I picked up a book from the women’s center called Transforming a Rape Culture. At the time, I thought it was the stupidest thing I’d ever seen, and most people balked at the suggestion that all men are rapists or predisposed to commit rape. Also, apparently it wasn’t considered “oppressive” to refer to slutty women as sluts; it was just honest. In fact, I LOVE sluts! They put out the quickest, and thanks to all that female empowerment, they’re not just damaged women with daddy issues! All of this was before Obama was even President. A lot has changed since then. Men can now put on dresses and call themselves women; women who get gang-banged by twenty dudes are considered “empowered”; men who ask women on dates can be accused of sexual assault; man, has society progressed! Thank you Cassie Jaye for setting the clock back about ten years.

Boys Are Boys, Girls Are Choice and Girls Will Never Be Boys

If the left can politicize everything, than goddamn it, so can I! Below is a video of the Monks performing their classic “Boys Are Boys and Girls Are Choice.”

The song is from their 1966 LP, Blank Monk Time, one of the many fine additions to the more obscure cannon of 60s rock, right along side The Village Fugs Sing Ballads of Contemporary Protest, Point of Views and General Dissatisfaction and The Fugs by the Fugs, The Psychedelic Sounds of the 13th Floor Elevators and Easter Everywhere by the 13 Floor Elevators, The Seeds and A Web of Sound by the Seeds and Here Are the Sonics!!! and Boom by the Sonics.

You can read all of the Monks’ biographical trivia at their Wikipedia page. The important thing to know is that they dressed like monks when they performed, and they had a unique approach to the two and half minute song formula that focused on rhythmic hooks and utilized the fun “chinka-chinka” sound of Dave Day’s banjo, somehow making the songs so stupidly catchy that there are times when I could listen to Black Monk Time on repeat for days at a clip. Also their sound influenced the deliberately repetitive “vamping” of German “kraut rock” bands like Can and Neu!, and the Fall site the Monks as a huge influence and have covered several of their songs.

Now, obviously, there’s nothing political about the song “Boys Are Boys and Girls Are Choice”; it’s just a song about the joy of being a guy going after a girl (presumably when it was more fun and wouldn’t get you accused of rape). But in the current year, when “transgender” freaks are pushing an agenda that says a person can now choose his, her or its gender, rather being ASSIGNED a gender at birth by, ya know, having a set of cock ‘n’ balls or a wet, oozing vagina, the song BECOMES political.

On top of that, it celebrates heterosexuality; I mean, if you’re a straight guy, girls are choice, aren’t they? Provided they’re not fat or ugly, that is. And don’t get mad at me for saying that; being fat and ugly are problems that are relatively easy to fix.

Ironically the people at Light in the Attic records, who released phenomenal vinyl and CD reissues of Black Monk Time, probably think I’m a “transphobic” bigot for writing this piece. Or maybe they secretly believe in the song’s message and are trying to push the Monks’ evil and vile agenda.

The Alt-Right, Punk Rock and Fake Boobs: An Analysis

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The worst thing about people who are full of shit is when they become fans of things that you both enjoy and are a much, much greater expert on. I think I’m in some position of authority to state that most punk rockers don’t know as much as I do about the Alternative Right or the general umbrella of the new right. And similarly I think it’s safe to say that most people on the Alternative Right have only a cursory knowledge of punk rock. So, as someone who is a damn near expert on both of these topics – not saying I was ever on the vanguard of either of these movements – I think I’m at least qualified to call bullshit on a recent article published by Playboy magazine.

But before I even analyze the recent Playboy piece “5 Punk Rockers Explain Why the Alt-Right’s ‘Punk Movement’ is Garbage“, let’s ALL put on our bullshit detectors.

Is Playboy not the magazine that 13 year old boys jerked off to for the first time? Is it not the “classy” boobie mag that was started by a pipe smoking, middle aged-cum (no pun intended)-dirty old pervert, who would feature pictorials of attractive women with their beach blonde hair and big, fake boobs? Wasn’t Hugh himself the subject of the wrath of second wave feminists?

Yeah, I know… Playboy has articles too; and there are people who actually read the articles, rather make their fathers question why all the pages in his books are stuck together. And, from my understanding, there was even an era when Playboy actually had good articles from “legit” writers like Woody Allen – who, liberal as he might be, bless his soul, never became a feminist or stopped being a pussy chasing dog – and Gore Vidal. But that was the 60s, and you had to feign intellectualism in those days.

Regardless of its praising of certain liberal causes, Playboy has long since been just a porn mag-lite (no beaver shots), known for launching the careers of airheads like Jenny McArthy and Pamela Anderson.

So why, all of a sudden, do they fancy themselves the authority on punk rock and feel that they can decide that “the Alt-Right’s ‘Punk Movement’ is Garbage”?

First of all, there IS no AltRight punk movement, because if there was, then my name would be in the article. Not only am I the guy who printed the first ever Punks for Trump t-shirts (only 50 left as of this writing; BUY BUY BUY!!!), but that’s Matt Forney, one of the definitive AltRighters, in the picture below wearing one.

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But, even if the article’s writer, Michael Tedder, was aware of this fact, he still misses the point entirely:

Members of the alt-right have of late made the argument that “conservatism is the new punk” and that gadflies like Alex Jones and Milo Yiannopoulos are the modern day truth-telling equivalents of the Sex Pistols and the Clash, pushing back against social justice warriors and political correctness culture. In their eyes, their old, retrograde ideas—which inevitably manifest as fear and outrage at attempts to curb white male privilege—have suddenly become avant-garde because of…safe spaces or something.

Neither Alex Jones nor Milo Yiannopoulos are “AltRight.” They’re libertarians. They’ve adopted some of the less extreme views of the AltRight – that cultural Marxism sucks, that SJWs of all stripes and shades are stupid and that Islam is a threat to Western civilization – but they were never considered part of the movement; to call them AltRight would be like calling the Cars a punk band. Sure the Venn diagrams overlap, but they’re not one and the same. To be honest, I’m not considered “AltRight” by some of the more radical elements either because I’m not a White Nationalist, I don’t believe that all ethnic groups need to be separated at all costs and I don’t fit the proper genetic stock. The AltRight actually has quite a bit of diversity of thought under its umbrella, but a person on the left will never take the time to investigate any of this.

But I digress. As far as the “new right” (which includes the AltRight) being considered “the new punk rock”, well… I suppose that depends on how you define “punk rock.” And that’s where we get to the meat, spikes, leather and chains of the article; unless, of course, you’re a modern day vegan-feminist-hippie-crust-punk, who dodges showers the way the hippies dodged the draft. Then you probably think the original punks were fascists for wearing and eating dead cow.

Most AltRighters don’t know that much about punk and all of the bands it produced or its various sub-genres and their spin-offs. If ANYTHING, while AltRighters might espouse the general, “offend the easily offended” attitude of the Sex Pistols, and while I think Trump is pissing off all the right people, AltRighters specifically probably have more in common with the Oi! band 4Skins, who wrote this wonderful anti-immigrant slam “One Law for Them”, in which they quote the “rivers of blood” speech by Enoch Powell, or the Canadian punk band Forgotten Rebels, who have the hilarious “Bomb the Boat and Feed the Fish”, in which they advocate a rather more, um, violent solution to the problem of mass immigration from third world countries. Hell, I’d even say they have more in common with hardcore punk bands like Agnostic Front, who have the anti-welfare screed “Public Assistance”, which got them in a heap of shit with the PC brigade, or Minor Threat, who mince no words in “Guilty of Being White”, or Black Flag, who sing about the changing ethnic demographic in Southern California in “White Minority” (oh, but they’re being ironic, cantcha tell?!).

But, instead Playboy claims they found the TRUE representatives of punk rock, and these people, who quite obviously have next to no knowledge of the AltRight, explain why someone on the AltRight can’t be punk.

First they get a quote from Victoria Ruiz from some band called the Downtown Boys. (And if you leftist fags say, “uh, what a POSER, you’ve never heard of the Downtown Boys?”, I’ll say, “go fuck yourself, you’ve never heard of Aryan Disgrace, Metal Urbain or the Mentally Ill.”)

Alice Bag, who has actually done the work of being a punk rock star, recently said via Facebook: “Punk has been portrayed as music by and for angry white males, but in its inception, it was a rebellion against all rock cliches. Gender, ethnic, sexual and class taboos were all challenged by our early punk community and that is a story which is not very often told. People of color, queer folk, women—all were present from the very beginning of Punk.”

Yeah, fine, Alice Bag and the Bags are actually really good – how can they not be? They had Geza X on guitar! – but Republican Johnny Ramone has done WAY more work of being a punk rock star. Not to mention Lee Ving of Fear, who wrote the classic “The Mouth Don’t Stop (the Trouble with Women).” And so has leftist clown Jello Biafra. So what? Okay, fine, Darby Crash, the singer of the Germs, was a fag. And their guitarist Pat Smear is black. And Ivan Julian, the rhythm guitarist for Richard Hell and the Voidoids, is also black. And the Bad Brains are all black and were known for their queer-bashing because they “be Rasta, mon, and Rasta don’ like no bloodclot faggots!” Again, so what? That changes precisely what again? The answer is coming; wait for it:

I think that this is exactly why it is nonsense when the alt-right strings together vapid words to try and incite a playground fight with those of us who put blood, sweat and tears into creating an expression that is the antithesis of everything that these alt-right meatheads represent. They are simply a distraction to the women, femmes, queers and people of color filling the columns of Spin, Rolling Stone, Pitchfork, the New York Times and numerous other publications that report on culture. I don’t see actual alt-right bands headlining Coachella, I see Beyoncé and Kendrick Lamar—two of the most punk in terms of crystallizing dissent about the status quo —artists taking the stage. Real punk is and will always be a total threat to the alt-right and their culture, which is based on white supremacy. Otherwise it isn’t real punk. The alt-right’s tactics are FAKE PUNK. The alt-white (I mean right) want us to sip tea, but we are drinking fresh water from a firehose.

In other words, according to this person, the AltRight DOESN’T represent the punk rock ethos because they AREN’T represented in corporate mainstream media and DON’T perform at corporately sponsored music festivals. I think even the old timey leftists at Maximum Rock ‘n’ Roll would raise an eyebrow at that. But more specifically, AltRighters and anyone who espouses views that are heretical to the PC establishment need to be purged from all mainstream discourse. Also probably the main reason no “AltRight bands” have ever performed at Coachella is because THERE ARE NO ALT-RIGHT BANDS to speak of. And even if there were, they wouldn’t be invited to play these festivals. In fact corporately sponsored festivals like the Scion Rock Fest has dumped bands when they were suspected of having “nefarious” connections. But apparently Beyoncé and Kendrick Lamar are totally punk as fuck, man.

Next we have Chris Freeman of Pansy Division, the only name on the list I recognize. Feel free to read his lengthy, bitchy diatribe yourself. The only thing that stuck with me was this:

Punk rock for me was about free-thinking more than free speech, and I say that not to minimize free speech but to point out how robotic life had become in the 1970s.

Uh, oookay…. moving right along then…

Well, what do we have here? Erika M. Anderson seems to be the only person of the bunch with a brain!

I think if you define punk as simply being a group of angry young men wanting to say “fuck you” to dominant societal norms and current values, then the roots of the alt-right are definitely one of the most punk things going on right now.

AGREED… but:

But that’s like narrowing your definition of punk down to the Sex Pistols—which was basically a boy band put together by a pair of London clothing designers who wanted to use shock tactics to promote their fashion line. I much prefer Crass (who were anarchists, feminists, environmentalists and better songwriters!), X-Ray Spex or even Pansy Division. But my guess is that if you are truly invested in the theory of alt-right as new punk, then facts about the diversity of the movement aren’t really going to appeal to you.

Oo, calling the Sex Pistols a boy band… them’s fightin’ words! Julian Temple’s 2000 documentary The Filth and the Fury puts that myth to rest. Plus, even if it were true, that doesn’t change the fact that “No Feelings” is one of the best songs ever. To be fair, Crass makes some pretty righteous noise even if they’re views are stupid, and X-Ray Spex tear it up with their noisy, bleating sax and Poly Styrene’s caterwauling; I don’t think I’ve ever heard Pansy Division. Regardless, I AM invested in parts of the alt-right, but as proven above, I’m aware that there were black, gay and gurl punks. Her rant concludes with this:

Indeed, it’s all keks and lulz until a con man takes office and fills his cabinet with incompetent billionaires who don’t actually care about free speech, poverty, or really anything but themselves. Turns out there is a thin line between being punk and getting punk’d.

Oo, she’s clever!

Some guy named Andy Nelson at least gets one thing right:

It is no great secret that for all its posturing and incremental progress over the years, underground punk is still, regrettably, a culture dominated by straight whites males.

I wouldn’t say “regrettably”, but:

The notion that expressing all the hateful bigotry that the entirety of American society has been reinforcing forever would resemble the anti-establishment in any form is a premise so asinine and feeble-minded it is nearly beyond comprehension. Insofar as “Alt-Right Punk” is a real thing, I remind you that we’ve seen this type of thing before, and we’ve seen how it ends: Just ask Dave Smalley and Michael Graves what kind of traffic that moronic website ConservativePunk.com is getting these days.

Hey, if you don’t like it in the United States, you’re free to live in such tolerant countries as Iran and Saudi Arabia. As for Dave Smalley and Michael Graves, I’m not sure what kind of traffic they get on their moronic website these days, and I’m too lazy to check.

And finally Patrick Stickles of some band called Titus Andronicus (isn’t Shakespeare racist or something?) begins with:

In determining if conservatism/“alt-right” is the “new punk” or “political punk rock” or whatever they are saying, we must first address the distinction between “punk,” the ideology, “punks,” who practice said ideology, and “punk rock,” the musical genre/fashion template with which we associate acts like the Sex Pistols or Ramones or Black Flag and “punk rockers,” those who adhere to those templates.

No, we mustn’t. Well,you can if ya want, but I’m going to listen to this here Dictators song and have myself a vodka/diet coke mixer.

I Was Interviewed By Matt Forney for This AltRight Life at Right On.

I was interviewed for over an hour for Matt Forney’s show This AltRight Life over at RightOn.net.  We talked about our time hanging outside the RNC, including being chased around by SJW zombies and attending Milo’s fab cocktail party, my Punks for Trump t-shirts and the leftist hijacking of punk rawk.  Hopefully you’ll find listening to it as enjoyable as I found doing it.

The SavageHippie Guide to Good Trolling

20160814_141814There comes a time in your life when you have to admit the undeniable truth to yourself; I’m a troll, and I really like being a troll because trolling idiots is funny!  Now, I can’t say I’m the BEST troll because, unlike a certain Eugene Nix, who you can read about here, and to whom you can listen to David Cole, Ann Sterzinger and I talk to on our podcast here, I don’t have the planning or wherewithal to pull the caper he did.  However, what I do have, like Eugene Nix, is the ability spot the cliches, use them against people and cause these people to have a visceral reaction.  And that is fuckin’ funny.  I’m more of a real life troll, the guy who gets punched in the face when my use of absurdity is misinterpreted by people with no sense of humor.  And I admit that I TOO have been caught in this trap.

But, before we get to all that, let’s define precisely what a troll is and why a troll exists.  Being a Luddite – having found out what rickrolling is when I was rickrolled by phony balloney “libertarian” Julie Borrowsky, of all people – I came to this internet culture way late in life, so the things that I had been doing IN real life have become manifest all over the interwebs, where it seems the entire Western world spends its life even WHEN they’re out exploring the world.  Again, I just bought my first smart phone so I am learning how addicting going on the internet can be even when in public among friends and thinking that showing other people pictures of the band you’re watching or whatever cool knick knack you found fulfills a certain desire, satisfies a certain need.  I call it narcissism, and anyone who claims that they don’t have a little of it is lying.

So, anyway, in real life, I found it amusing to say over the top or odd stuff just to get a reaction.  Only later did I learn that this was “trolling.”  The major thing about saying things to get a reaction is that you need other people around who understand what you’re doing, to understand that you’re putting on a show.  But, on top of that, you’re also putting the “victim” of your charade to a test.  Is that person smart enough to “get it”?  Can you tell by that person’s reaction that he or she knows you’re kidding?  Like I said, I’ve been on the receiving end and later disappointed that I wasn’t in on the joke at the time of it happening.

For instance, when I was 16, some guy I didn’t know came up to me at a record store in a mall and asked me, “can I fuck you in the ass?”  I did a double take and kinda, trying to play cool, said something like, “um, errr, well, I don’t do that dude, but good luck…” only to have Jared fucking Yellin walk up after and say, “hey this is my friend…”  I was so disappointed by how easily I was taken in when it should have been obvious how absurd the situation was.  Maybe if we were at Fire Island, just asking a random person if you can fuck that person in the ass might seem like a normal thing to do, but, even IF this guy was trying to suss out another fag, he would most likely have a more subtle way of doing it.  In other words, I got punked!  If I HAD been more perceptive, I would have said something along the lines of “sorry, only pitcher, not catcher.”

How good you are at trolling is contingent on a few key factors.  One of them is your victim.  As funny as I found Borat to be, one can’t deny that Sasha Baren Cohen’s targets in that movie weren’t exactly positioned very high.  Yes, his trolling was effective, but let’s face it; it was cheap and obvious.  It was elite America laughing at dumb rednecks and conservative politicians.  And, to keep with the politically correct narrative, the couple of experiences with blacks in that movie resulted in him being the butt of the joke, rather than them.

On the other hand, one of my recent FB status updates, is an example of good trolling.  The only problem I see with it is that I wasted it by putting it on my FB wall, where it garnered a few laughs from some friends, while confusing others, rather than placing it in the comments section for NPR, New York Times or Huffington Post.  In attempting to laugh at the left, I had inadvertently punked my friends Scott V. and Joseph C., who actually thought they “lost another one.”  Like with the previous “can I fuck you in the ass” incident, we all get punked.  Here is what I wrote:

So sick of people and their “cause” and “effect.” Trump needs to apologize to Clinton and Obama for saying they started ISIS. ISIS just happened, okay? Just like the Nazis, every few years enemies just appear. Nobody knows from where, and really, it’s not important. They just do. What interest would Clinton and Obama have in starting ISIS? ISIS kill people, and why would our secretary of state want that? Donald Trump and ISIS are bad for the real heroes of this story, the Muslims, and I mean the real Muslims, not the violent radicals.

Now let’s break this down.  The opening sentence is so fundamentally absurd that anyone with half a brain – barring of course Scott V. and Joseph C., who have fully functioning and intelligent brains, but were just caught off guard – would see that as a dead giveaway.  I put the words “cause” and “effect” in ironic quotes to imply that those things need not be considered and that only idiots would pay attention to cause and effect.  At that point, the brain should be thinking, “haha, very funny, asshole.”

But the onslaught doesn’t end there.  I say Trump needs to apologize to Clinton and Obama for saying they started ISIS.  Most informed people realize that Clinton and Obama had something to do with starting ISIS, even if indirectly – ya know, that Iraq war thing.  So why would he need to apologize?  The only people who complained about Trump’s statements are idiot leftists who didn’t think for a second that Trump didn’t mean they literally were the heads of ISIS.  THEN, I turn up the absurdity to 11 with my statement about how “Just like the Nazis, every few years enemies just appear. Nobody knows from where, and really, it’s not important. They just do.”  REALLY?  They just do?  Like magic?  Again, should be a dead giveaway.

And then I ask, “What interest would Clinton and Obama have in starting ISIS? ISIS kill people, and why would our secretary of state want that?”  This is after Benghazi and after Clinton has been accused of being a sociopath, so again, this post is unrelenting in its obvious stupidity.

And then finally I say, “Donald Trump and ISIS are bad for the real heroes of this story, the Muslims, and I mean the real Muslims, not the violent radicals.”  Anybody who knows me knows that I’m no fan of Islam and that I think there is a pathology in the Muslim community, which allows them to tacitly approve terrorism while impeding any attempt to stop it by calling investigations and tougher measures “discrimination.”  There is no fathomable way the Muslims are the heroes of this or any narrative.

So, there you go; a perfect 10 in terms of trolling, something befitting the comment section at Huffington Post or New York Times, where anyone who agrees becomes a target for ridicule in my sick show.  Similarly, it functions well at a conservative blog; if someone gets the joke, that person might chime in with equally ridiculous and hyperbolic statements.  If someone does not, that person might angrily react, or as Joseph C. posted under the comment:

trolling4

The bottom line is that, to be a good troll, your post has to be able to be taken seriously by the truly stupid, seen as a joke by the intelligent and, on occasion, cause confusion among people who should know better but were caught off guard.

 

A Hilarious Exchange with an SJW

soaring_eagle_Indians_Nazi_salute_2I know: I’m a masochist.  If people on the left, mainly SJWs, are r-selected, rather than K-selected, they really can’t help themselves, and it’s pretty useless arguing with them.  But, I try, only to have it shoved back in my face with ad hominem attacks – the biggest, stupidest, most glaring one, of course, is that I’m at the ‘rents house, even though I’ve lived on my own numerous times in the past – and completely irrelevant facts.

My favorite is the one where people say, “yeah, let’s not let in the mud people because they’re trying to take away the land we stole from the Indians.”  Pretty clever, huh?  This person’s logic holds that, even if the “mud people” (his words, not mine) ARE invading, we sorta deserve to be conquered because of what the white man did to the Indians in the past.  Well, sorry homie, but my parents came to the United States in 1974.  Oh, WAIT, they’re immigrants, therefore we need to let in ALL immigrants.  Oh WAIT, my dad was an engineer and my mom was a chemist, and neither of them went on welfare or worked under the table.  And they came here legally.

The conversation I’m going to talk about began with Donald Trump and the Syrian rapefugees, and of course degenerated into name calling.  Lord knows I tried to be civil, but this guy, being an SJW, in order to maintain his views, NEEDED to have me be a right wing caricature in order to maintain his narrative.  He needs me to be a David Duke-esque virgin, who jerks off to anime and lives at home, in order to have moral high ground, because otherwise, his arguments are just too weak.  I created most of this from memory, but I SWEAR it’s as accurate as can be without being too self-aggrandizing.

Me: We shouldn’t let Syrian rapefugees into the country.  Look at what happened to Europe.  It became the rape capital of the Western world after they lett Muslim immigrants in.  I don’t want that happening here.

Him: Well, ya know, Christianity is just as bad because of the Crusades. Okay, I know you, as the reader are thinking, “no way, he’s not that stupid”, but I SWEAR this was actually something he pointed out before smugly saying, “why don’t you read a book.”

Me: You’re a retard (yeah, I called him a retard) for pointing out something that happened more than 700 years ago to justify essentially trying to kill off the West by letting Muslims invade it.  Also you’re inviting rape culture into the country.

Him: Those claims of rape in European countries are completely unsubstantiated – in other words, since they were committed by those saintly brown people, white women deserved it, or are probably lying because “racism” – and 1 in 4 women on college campuses are raped every year.  We have the rape culture.

Me: Is it 1 in 4?  Didn’t they change it to 1 in 5 and then 1 in 7?  Don’t they keep changing the definition of rape so it seems higher because they’re on witch hunt?  Either way, I told a girl at a bar that she has a nice ass.  This is true because she did and she had black hair and tattoos, and looked punky/hipstery, so she was probably a feminist and doesn’t realize how much that compliment will mean to her in 30 years.

Him: Of course you would, you probably have never even touched a girl outside of your mom (now, it’s personal).

Me: Don’t worry about me, man.  I get plenty of pussy.

Him: Huh, people who talk about it don’t get it. (really clever one, isn’t he?)

Me: Oh, actually I’m seeing someone right now, and we went to the Soaring Eagle casino for a weekend of gambling, fucking and pot smoking.

Him: Woa, so rebellious, don’t tell your mom! (why wouldn’t I tell her about that? It was Amanda’s mom who set the whole thing up.)

Me: I just can’t win with you, can I?

Him: No, you’re a basement dwelling, t-shirt making (referring to my wicked cool Punks for Trump shirts) fascist.

Me:

I’m actually starting to like this song; not for the lyrics of course.

Why Are People on the Left Obsessed with Balance?

book_stack_2.0In the aftermath of the Orlando shooting, I’ve lost a number of Facebook friends, including a couple of gay ones, who tried to pin the attack on the “Christian Right” or the precarious concept of “homophobia.”  Anyone who isn’t completely retarded knows that the reason Omar Mateen opened fire on a bunch of gays in a gay club is because he’s a Muslim, and Muslims hate gays.  He openly expressed ties to ISIS and acted exactly as his holy book told him to.

And, believe it or not, there ARE people on the left who completely agree that Islam is exactly what motivated Mateen.  HOWEVER – and this is HUGE – leftists STILL feel the need to give a tit for tat rationalization for the event.  In other words, even though this guy acted in the name of his whackadoodle death cult, according to leftists, Christians are JUST AS likely to act in the same way.  And aren’t they correct?  I mean, you have the Westboro Baptist church and this hilarious black preacher yelling about gays shooting fire out “they ass”, and you have the Crusades, and you have Timothy McVeigh and Dylann Roof and Christopher Harper-Mercer and Elliot Rodger; clearly, nutjobs come in all walks of life.

Except these arguments are all completely wrong.  If Christians are JUST AS likely to commit the atrocities that Muslims commit, how come something like 30,000 of the last terrorist attacks since 9/11 have been linked to Islam?  When is the last time a group of Christians flew planes into buildings, opened fire into gay clubs, raped a bunch of women on New Years Eve or blew up the Bataclan in France?  And, last time I checked, the Crusades happened more than 700 years ago.  Christians en masse don’t do that anymore.

And, for Timothy McVeigh, Dylann Roof, Christopher Harper-Mercer and Elliot Rodger, you literally have such a diverse motivation for their actions, that to find any pattern at all, other than that they’re crazy and should not have had access to the weapons they possessed, is completely disingenuous.  McVeigh was a crazy militia guy who hated the government, Roof was racist, Harper-Mercer was sort of like a cross between McVeigh and Roof, only he was half black, and Rodger was pissed off that he was still virgin at 22, not to mention being half Asian.

Yet, I still have a Facebook friend who claims that Christianity’s influence, while not having the direct, “kill all the infidels” message of Islam, infiltrates more subliminally, commanding the McVeighs and Roofs of the world to kill people.  I’m sorry, but that’s really dumb.  That’s so dumb, that I wonder if this person is just saying it because he NEEDS to maintain the notion of balance, that “there’s assholes in every crowd”, or if he legitimately believes it.

He’s right about one thing.  There certainly ARE assholes in every crowd.  Nobody denies that.  There are also good people in every crowd as well, including Islam.  But individual circumstances or the “have you actually met a (fill in the blank) person before?” philosophy completely goes counter to the law of large numbers, which we have been using for centuries to figure out how to deal with different groups of people.  Unfortunately the left, or rather the politically correct left, simply cannot fathom that some races, ethnic groups, sexes (and there’s only two) or religions are over or under represented in various walks of life simply because they are.  Or maybe they secretly DO realize this, but don’t want to say so out loud.

I was talking to another friend of mine I told him that it’s not racist to blatantly say that black ghettos are dangerous and violent, more violent than the ghettos of any other group of people.  His response to me was that poor, white trash areas are ALSO violent.  Yeah, because statistically speaking, trailer parks are known for their crack gangs and drive by shootings, where little children are gunned down.  It’s that denial that leftists wallow in just so they don’t have to confront the ugly reality that maybe some groups of people haven’t gotten their shit together.

I dare ask why a place, such as Ferndale, MI, which is right next door to a crime ‘n’ crack infested shithole like Detroit is almost entirely free of crime.  I read that police officers were accused of stopping blacks and Latinos more often than anyone else for traffic violations.  This means either that cops are overly mean to dark people or that dark people from Detroit are simply speeding more.  Either way, considering how blacks are responsible for over 50% of homicides and make up only 13% of the population of the entire country, there IS a reason why they’re not bringing much of that violent crime over the Eight Mile Rd. divide, which separates Ferndale from Detroit.  And I’m fairly it isn’t because of an invisible force field.

A couple of my friends also wanted to draw the direct parallel to college kids rioting whenever their football teams won or lost.  Real smart there guys; last time I checked college football riots didn’t destroy entire communities and make business owners pack up shop when they collected their insurance checks and moved to other communities, ones less prone to self destruction.  Another one of my friends drew a direct parallel between the Ferguson rioters with the group of bikers who caused a bunch of trouble last year, as if that too is a common occurrence.  You see, numbers.

But, of course, actually saying any of that will get you branded as an evil, racist, neo-Nazi, poo-poo head.

Just like it will get you called a racist for complaining that Indians (dots, not feathers) bargain too much.  A former QuickenLoans coworker who is Asian (Korean, I think) complained about this, that every time she hears “that accent”, she knows she’s going to have to be on the phone that much longer to try to hammer out a deal.  She also told me that I’m not allowed to make this same observation because I’m white.

Or get you called anti-semitic for pointing out that nearly every major media outlet is owned and/or run by Jews; Jews like Steven Spielberg who make movies like Schindler’s List in order to shove heaping piles of guilt down everyone’s throat, as if most people who saw the film were ever involved with the Holocaust.

Or get you called a sexist pig for pointing out that the reason women only make $0.77 for every man’s dollar is because they choose easier professions that don’t pay as much along with working less hours.  If every woman in the world stopped working, the only professions that would be greatly affected would be nursing and elementary school teaching.  Yet, since women insist they’re equal to the men, they go through college, bust their asses AND… get mediocre office jobs that anybody could do.  Or get bumped up to H.R. positions, so they can discriminate against men, mainly white men.  Ever wonder why the staff at Huffington Post is ALL women?  Yeah, me neither.

But, wait, isn’t women’s soccer more popular than men’s soccer?  Shouldn’t THEY be making as much as the men.  First of all, no, it’s not, and, second of all, how much they make is up to whoever THEY negotiate deals with.  For the women’s soccer league to demand as much money as the men’s is the same as people who work at Walmart complaining that they don’t make as much as the people at Meijer.  Why is it Meijer’s responsibility to make sure Walmart employees are paid more?    It makes no sense; but, it makes good propaganda!

So, what gives, eh? I don’t freakin’ know.  Since nowadays you can choose what race, sex, ethnicity or species of animal you want to be, there’s no reason to complain about inequality at all.