The Alt-Right, Punk Rock and Fake Boobs: An Analysis

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The worst thing about people who are full of shit is when they become fans of things that you both enjoy and are a much, much greater expert on. I think I’m in some position of authority to state that most punk rockers don’t know as much as I do about the Alternative Right or the general umbrella of the new right. And similarly I think it’s safe to say that most people on the Alternative Right have only a cursory knowledge of punk rock. So, as someone who is a damn near expert on both of these topics – not saying I was ever on the vanguard of either of these movements – I think I’m at least qualified to call bullshit on a recent article published by Playboy magazine.

But before I even analyze the recent Playboy piece “5 Punk Rockers Explain Why the Alt-Right’s ‘Punk Movement’ is Garbage“, let’s ALL put on our bullshit detectors.

Is Playboy not the magazine that 13 year old boys jerked off to for the first time? Is it not the “classy” boobie mag that was started by a pipe smoking, middle aged-cum (no pun intended)-dirty old pervert, who would feature pictorials of attractive women with their beach blonde hair and big, fake boobs? Wasn’t Hugh himself the subject of the wrath of second wave feminists?

Yeah, I know… Playboy has articles too; and there are people who actually read the articles, rather make their fathers question why all the pages in his books are stuck together. And, from my understanding, there was even an era when Playboy actually had good articles from “legit” writers like Woody Allen – who, liberal as he might be, bless his soul, never became a feminist or stopped being a pussy chasing dog – and Gore Vidal. But that was the 60s, and you had to feign intellectualism in those days.

Regardless of its praising of certain liberal causes, Playboy has long since been just a porn mag-lite (no beaver shots), known for launching the careers of airheads like Jenny McArthy and Pamela Anderson.

So why, all of a sudden, do they fancy themselves the authority on punk rock and feel that they can decide that “the Alt-Right’s ‘Punk Movement’ is Garbage”?

First of all, there IS no AltRight punk movement, because if there was, then my name would be in the article. Not only am I the guy who printed the first ever Punks for Trump t-shirts (only 50 left as of this writing; BUY BUY BUY!!!), but that’s Matt Forney, one of the definitive AltRighters, in the picture below wearing one.

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But, even if the article’s writer, Michael Tedder, was aware of this fact, he still misses the point entirely:

Members of the alt-right have of late made the argument that “conservatism is the new punk” and that gadflies like Alex Jones and Milo Yiannopoulos are the modern day truth-telling equivalents of the Sex Pistols and the Clash, pushing back against social justice warriors and political correctness culture. In their eyes, their old, retrograde ideas—which inevitably manifest as fear and outrage at attempts to curb white male privilege—have suddenly become avant-garde because of…safe spaces or something.

Neither Alex Jones nor Milo Yiannopoulos are “AltRight.” They’re libertarians. They’ve adopted some of the less extreme views of the AltRight – that cultural Marxism sucks, that SJWs of all stripes and shades are stupid and that Islam is a threat to Western civilization – but they were never considered part of the movement; to call them AltRight would be like calling the Cars a punk band. Sure the Venn diagrams overlap, but they’re not one and the same. To be honest, I’m not considered “AltRight” by some of the more radical elements either because I’m not a White Nationalist, I don’t believe that all ethnic groups need to be separated at all costs and I don’t fit the proper genetic stock. The AltRight actually has quite a bit of diversity of thought under its umbrella, but a person on the left will never take the time to investigate any of this.

But I digress. As far as the “new right” (which includes the AltRight) being considered “the new punk rock”, well… I suppose that depends on how you define “punk rock.” And that’s where we get to the meat, spikes, leather and chains of the article; unless, of course, you’re a modern day vegan-feminist-hippie-crust-punk, who dodges showers the way the hippies dodged the draft. Then you probably think the original punks were fascists for wearing and eating dead cow.

Most AltRighters don’t know that much about punk and all of the bands it produced or its various sub-genres and their spin-offs. If ANYTHING, while AltRighters might espouse the general, “offend the easily offended” attitude of the Sex Pistols, and while I think Trump is pissing off all the right people, AltRighters specifically probably have more in common with the Oi! band 4Skins, who wrote this wonderful anti-immigrant slam “One Law for Them”, in which they quote the “rivers of blood” speech by Enoch Powell, or the Canadian punk band Forgotten Rebels, who have the hilarious “Bomb the Boat and Feed the Fish”, in which they advocate a rather more, um, violent solution to the problem of mass immigration from third world countries. Hell, I’d even say they have more in common with hardcore punk bands like Agnostic Front, who have the anti-welfare screed “Public Assistance”, which got them in a heap of shit with the PC brigade, or Minor Threat, who mince no words in “Guilty of Being White”, or Black Flag, who sing about the changing ethnic demographic in Southern California in “White Minority” (oh, but they’re being ironic, cantcha tell?!).

But, instead Playboy claims they found the TRUE representatives of punk rock, and these people, who quite obviously have next to no knowledge of the AltRight, explain why someone on the AltRight can’t be punk.

First they get a quote from Victoria Ruiz from some band called the Downtown Boys. (And if you leftist fags say, “uh, what a POSER, you’ve never heard of the Downtown Boys?”, I’ll say, “go fuck yourself, you’ve never heard of Aryan Disgrace, Metal Urbain or the Mentally Ill.”)

Alice Bag, who has actually done the work of being a punk rock star, recently said via Facebook: “Punk has been portrayed as music by and for angry white males, but in its inception, it was a rebellion against all rock cliches. Gender, ethnic, sexual and class taboos were all challenged by our early punk community and that is a story which is not very often told. People of color, queer folk, women—all were present from the very beginning of Punk.”

Yeah, fine, Alice Bag and the Bags are actually really good – how can they not be? They had Geza X on guitar! – but Republican Johnny Ramone has done WAY more work of being a punk rock star. Not to mention Lee Ving of Fear, who wrote the classic “The Mouth Don’t Stop (the Trouble with Women).” And so has leftist clown Jello Biafra. So what? Okay, fine, Darby Crash, the singer of the Germs, was a fag. And their guitarist Pat Smear is black. And Ivan Julian, the rhythm guitarist for Richard Hell and the Voidoids, is also black. And the Bad Brains are all black and were known for their queer-bashing because they “be Rasta, mon, and Rasta don’ like no bloodclot faggots!” Again, so what? That changes precisely what again? The answer is coming; wait for it:

I think that this is exactly why it is nonsense when the alt-right strings together vapid words to try and incite a playground fight with those of us who put blood, sweat and tears into creating an expression that is the antithesis of everything that these alt-right meatheads represent. They are simply a distraction to the women, femmes, queers and people of color filling the columns of Spin, Rolling Stone, Pitchfork, the New York Times and numerous other publications that report on culture. I don’t see actual alt-right bands headlining Coachella, I see Beyoncé and Kendrick Lamar—two of the most punk in terms of crystallizing dissent about the status quo —artists taking the stage. Real punk is and will always be a total threat to the alt-right and their culture, which is based on white supremacy. Otherwise it isn’t real punk. The alt-right’s tactics are FAKE PUNK. The alt-white (I mean right) want us to sip tea, but we are drinking fresh water from a firehose.

In other words, according to this person, the AltRight DOESN’T represent the punk rock ethos because they AREN’T represented in corporate mainstream media and DON’T perform at corporately sponsored music festivals. I think even the old timey leftists at Maximum Rock ‘n’ Roll would raise an eyebrow at that. But more specifically, AltRighters and anyone who espouses views that are heretical to the PC establishment need to be purged from all mainstream discourse. Also probably the main reason no “AltRight bands” have ever performed at Coachella is because THERE ARE NO ALT-RIGHT BANDS to speak of. And even if there were, they wouldn’t be invited to play these festivals. In fact corporately sponsored festivals like the Scion Rock Fest has dumped bands when they were suspected of having “nefarious” connections. But apparently Beyoncé and Kendrick Lamar are totally punk as fuck, man.

Next we have Chris Freeman of Pansy Division, the only name on the list I recognize. Feel free to read his lengthy, bitchy diatribe yourself. The only thing that stuck with me was this:

Punk rock for me was about free-thinking more than free speech, and I say that not to minimize free speech but to point out how robotic life had become in the 1970s.

Uh, oookay…. moving right along then…

Well, what do we have here? Erika M. Anderson seems to be the only person of the bunch with a brain!

I think if you define punk as simply being a group of angry young men wanting to say “fuck you” to dominant societal norms and current values, then the roots of the alt-right are definitely one of the most punk things going on right now.

AGREED… but:

But that’s like narrowing your definition of punk down to the Sex Pistols—which was basically a boy band put together by a pair of London clothing designers who wanted to use shock tactics to promote their fashion line. I much prefer Crass (who were anarchists, feminists, environmentalists and better songwriters!), X-Ray Spex or even Pansy Division. But my guess is that if you are truly invested in the theory of alt-right as new punk, then facts about the diversity of the movement aren’t really going to appeal to you.

Oo, calling the Sex Pistols a boy band… them’s fightin’ words! Julian Temple’s 2000 documentary The Filth and the Fury puts that myth to rest. Plus, even if it were true, that doesn’t change the fact that “No Feelings” is one of the best songs ever. To be fair, Crass makes some pretty righteous noise even if they’re views are stupid, and X-Ray Spex tear it up with their noisy, bleating sax and Poly Styrene’s caterwauling; I don’t think I’ve ever heard Pansy Division. Regardless, I AM invested in parts of the alt-right, but as proven above, I’m aware that there were black, gay and gurl punks. Her rant concludes with this:

Indeed, it’s all keks and lulz until a con man takes office and fills his cabinet with incompetent billionaires who don’t actually care about free speech, poverty, or really anything but themselves. Turns out there is a thin line between being punk and getting punk’d.

Oo, she’s clever!

Some guy named Andy Nelson at least gets one thing right:

It is no great secret that for all its posturing and incremental progress over the years, underground punk is still, regrettably, a culture dominated by straight whites males.

I wouldn’t say “regrettably”, but:

The notion that expressing all the hateful bigotry that the entirety of American society has been reinforcing forever would resemble the anti-establishment in any form is a premise so asinine and feeble-minded it is nearly beyond comprehension. Insofar as “Alt-Right Punk” is a real thing, I remind you that we’ve seen this type of thing before, and we’ve seen how it ends: Just ask Dave Smalley and Michael Graves what kind of traffic that moronic website ConservativePunk.com is getting these days.

Hey, if you don’t like it in the United States, you’re free to live in such tolerant countries as Iran and Saudi Arabia. As for Dave Smalley and Michael Graves, I’m not sure what kind of traffic they get on their moronic website these days, and I’m too lazy to check.

And finally Patrick Stickles of some band called Titus Andronicus (isn’t Shakespeare racist or something?) begins with:

In determining if conservatism/“alt-right” is the “new punk” or “political punk rock” or whatever they are saying, we must first address the distinction between “punk,” the ideology, “punks,” who practice said ideology, and “punk rock,” the musical genre/fashion template with which we associate acts like the Sex Pistols or Ramones or Black Flag and “punk rockers,” those who adhere to those templates.

No, we mustn’t. Well,you can if ya want, but I’m going to listen to this here Dictators song and have myself a vodka/diet coke mixer.

We Did This for Your Own Good, Liberals

liberty_meme_muslimIt amuses me to hear leftist call me or anyone on my “side of the isle” – since, after all, as my lovely podcast co-host Ann Sterzinger said, there are 55 different genders and only two political positions you can choose from – paranoid when their collective fear of an America under President Trump is so irrational that they have put their blinders up to the absurd reactions of all of the people who  are crying in the street and being let out of their college courses to mourn that Donald Trump is now the 45th President.

According to angry leftists, Donald Trump isn’t just a Presidential candidate with a different point of view; his election is plainly and simply the triumph of EVIL.  In their warped view, the United States has a healthy population of angry, straight, white men, who are fed up with all of the progress that has been made by blacks… er, I mean persons of color, women, gays, Muslims, Jews, trans people and anyone who isn’t straight, white and male, and now it’s open season on them.

“Oh no, Trump is going to make it legal to kill gay people!”

“Donald Trump is going to do away with sexual harassment laws and cause a rapid rise in workplace ass pinching!”

“With Trump as President, it will now be mandatory to show Birth of a Nation and Triumph of the Will in high school classes across America!”

“Donald Trump is going to organize mobs to burn copies of the Koran and the Torah in largely Muslims and Jewish communities!”

The sad thing is the left are now so lacking in self-awareness that they will take these hyperbolic statements at face value.  “Hey mom, we just watched Birth of a Nation in history class.  I want to be a hero like those guys in the white hoods!”  Of course, as usual, the left’s logic crumbles under the most basic scrutiny.

In fact leftists have their heads so far up their asses that they will never realize how much good we did for them by sending S.S. America off the course of the Clinton ice berg.

Women – we won’t be importing 100,000 Syrian refugees into the United States.  Isn’t that great?  The U.S. won’t end up like Sweden, the rape capital of the world, now that we chose a candidate who has zero intention of importing immigrants who adhere to a belief system that says it’s perfectly okay to rape and molest women who don’t follow their oppressive holy book.  I KNOW; Trump said, “grab them by the pussy” ten years ago and called Rosie O’Donnell a fat pig, but I assume – and I guess I’m right since Trump won – that most people don’t give two shits about what someone said on a decade old video when, ya know, the other candidate wants to start World War III.  Oh, and Rosie O’Donnell IS a fat pig, so shouldn’t Trump be applauded for his honesty?

(Note: I know someone is going to mention the abortion issue.  My thoughts on it are as follows.  Women shouldn’t be HAVING abortions in the first place. If I have to explain the contradiction that a person would get charged with a double homicide when killing a pregnant woman, yet abortion is somehow NOT murder, well, ya know… HOWEVER, as far as Roe vs. Wade goes, it’s not going anywhere under Trump even if he does choose a conservative judge.  Regardless of comments he might have made saying he’s against abortion, considering his flip flopping, I doubt Trump has much of a stance on the issue one way or the other.)

Gays – See above.  Only replace “rape” and “molest” with “kill”  and “throw off of rooftops.”  Also see the Orlando night club shooting for further evidence that Trump is on the side of the gays.

Blacks – I don’t think Trump even explicitly mentioned blacks other than saying that the inner city communities could use some work.  If law and order are concepts that freak you out, you may want to examine how you live your lives because the national crime statistics aren’t exactly in your favor.  Of course, it’s no skin off my back because I don’t live in an inner city community around a lot of black people, but I do feel a little bad when I hear about that little girl that was gunned down in a drive by shooting.  Don’t yell at me if people don’t take you seriously when you shout black lives matter in their faces after another police officer shoots one of your own for trying to grab his gun, your city erupts in a riot and all of those nice businesses move out when they collect their insurance money.

Jews – Again, he’s not letting Muslims into the country, so you should be relieved about that since they hate you and want to kill you; maybe if they had not allowed them into France, the Charlie Hebdo massacre wouldn’t have happened.  Also, Trump’s daughter is married to one.

Muslims – I think your religion is garbage, but, if you’re in this country, I don’t see what Donald Trump can do to you or why you’re so scared.  You might want to police your people better, not play the victim when one of your own blows something up and not call everyone who criticizes your backwards way of life a “racist.” Also:

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If ANY one of your people comes after me for this, you’ve further proved Trump’s point.

Mexicans – And what are you so scared of?  Did Donald Trump ever say he plans on having a program of mass deportation for American citizens that hailed from Mexico?  Did he ever say he’s going to open Mexican death camps?  I’m just dumbfounded by what exactly leftists are so worried about.  Where do the majority of the illegal immigrants come from?  Mexico.  Do many of them rape, murder and sell drugs?  Yes.  Do we want to eliminate one source of rape, murder and the selling of drugs?  Yes.  Is it ethical to copulate just to have your kid be born on American soil so you can use him or her to make you into a citizen?  No.  I think that pretty much covers that.

Pacifists – remember, in 2003, when you yelled at George W. Bush for invading Iraq because of all of the American and Iraqi blood that was spilled over the alleged purpose of “democratizing” a group of people that refused to be democratized?  Yeah?  Well, now it’s 2016, Clinton wants to overthrow the Assad regime in Syria to further attempt to “democratize” a group of people that refuses to be democratized.  Only, you’re not yelling anymore.  And why is Clinton so hellbent on starting shit with Russia?  I didn’t realize spilling innocent blood was a progressive value, but I suppose it is if it’s done by a woman.  Well, don’t worry; we saved your fathers, brothers, sons, uncles and male cousins from having to get blown up on foreign soil.  Actually, with this new “equality” mandate that women have to sign up for the military, we saved your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts and female cousins as well.  You are welcome.

Gun owners – this may seem like a strange group to identify because most gun owners are Trump supporters, but this one is from personal experience.  I know a supposedly anti-big government libertarian type who collects guns.  Yet, when I mentioned that I was voting for Donald Trump, his head nearly exploded.  I was a bit confused by this because I was voting or the candidate that was not going to regulate firearms out of existence.  His aversion to Trump was pretty much the same as everyone else’s; he’s racist, sexist, homophobic, Islamophobic and not fit to be in the White House.  Well, thanks to us voting for a racist, sexist, homophobic Islamophobe, who is not fit to be in the White House, you’ll be able to continue to collect your firearms.  Can we get a thank you?

Fathers – this may seem like another strange group to single out, but I have at least two friends who are fathers.  I asked one of them what he would do if his son ever became an “Otherkin.”  For those who don’t know, “Otherkins” feel they were born in the body of the wrong species.  Naturally, as any sane person would, he told me that, if his son was involved in this online community, he would have a long talk with him and possibly cut off his internet access.  Yet he voted for Clinton against that “great evil” Donald Trump.  He will never realize what a foolish mistake this would have been if Clinton had won.  In a society where a man can put on a dress, claim to be a woman, demand access to the bathroom of the opposite sex and have an online community as a support group for his mental disorder, having a yelling harpy in the White House would only further force the media into an anti-male frenzy – similar to the current anti-white frenzy fostered by eight years under the Obama administration – and would make the world a confusing hell hole for the next generation of young men.  Thanks to us, your sons will now be able to ask you normal dating questions like, “what’s the best way to get a girl’s number?”, rather than, “am I a bigot if I prefer the girl I’m dating to have been born a girl?”  You are SO welcome.

I know a lot of reasonable liberals, leftists, Clinton supporters and other forms of anti-Trumpsters who have accepted defeat and are ready to give Donald Trump a chance.  These people understand that Donald Trump isn’t the second coming of Hitler.  He’s just a man with a different view from theirs.  Unfortunately there are those who are in denial, who have attempted to petition the electoral college to simply vote against the people because they don’t like the outcome of the election, who are in the streets crying and moaning or who are being let out of their university classes to have grieving sessions as if someone in their family died.  They don’t realize FOR A SECOND how fucking stupid they look, and that we’re laughing at them.

As far as I’m concerned, they’re impotent.  They can deface all the cars they want, call people every name in the book, gang up on people in online forums, beat people up, attempt to humiliate people and perform all other manner of bullying, but they’re toast.  Sorry left; you lost.  We don’t care about your feelings anymore.  We don’t give a flying hoot if you think we’re racist, sexist, homophobic, Islamophobic bigots.  And remember; we did this for your own good.

Dude, I’m Not Racist, I Have Bl… Aww, Fuck You.

racist_bingoI’m not racist.  No seriously.  When I’m driving, and I get cut off, the first thing I say is, “you fucking asshole, arrghgh, I hope you get colon, lung and skin cancer!!!”.  Then, when I see who the driver is, and he/she/it happens to be black, I go, “yeah, you’re STILL a fucking asshole!!!”  What difference does it make to me what your race is if you cut me off?  As far as I’m concerned, there are assholes in every croooww—-

Oh yeah, I’m Alt-Righter… sort of.  People on the Alt-Right will read this and say, “what a cuck, trying to appeal to blacks when he knows that blacks hate white people, and he’s a Jew, so he really has an ulterior agenda!”  But the fact is that, in my 32 years of existence, not a single black person has made me feel the intense, virulent hatred that some white people have.  Nope, not a single one.  I’ve had my car stolen twice, and I’m going to assume it was by black people, and I think the people who did it are shit stains on society, and I would have loved to put a slug in their chests, but it wasn’t personal.  They’re just lowlife pieces of human trash.

We’ve come to the point where people on the left are sooo fucking obsessed with race that, in spite the 1964 Civil Rights act, the 1973 affirmative action quotas, the fact that blacks can get into universities with lower SAT scores than whites and Asians and the fact that black crime is never reported by the mainstream media in an honest way, apparently, somewhere deep in the annals of American society lies the deep seeded cancer of racism that, no matter how many provisions are given, will never be expunged.

By most people’s standards, I’m white, and that means I’ve got some sort of “privilege.”  Did I come from a nice, upper middle class background?  Absolutely.  Do I have more opportunities than people who come from the ghettos OR meth infested trailer parks?  Well, duh.  Do American employers consider me over Darnell-Tyrone Jackson III for a mediocre data entry position?  Give me a FUCKING break.

Lauren Southern, the hot, Aryan commentator at Rebel Media posted “white racist bingo” on her FB wall, along with the comment, “:::shrug::: these all see reasonable to me.”  Why?  Because they ARE.

So now, white people of America, I shall absolve you of all your guilt by explaining each of the bingo squares for the purpose of turning  “Casually Racist Whites Bingo” into “Normal Statements That Make Sense Bingo.”

“I’m not racist I’m 3.837% black”

Oh, this one’s tough.  The idea is that, if you have some black blood in your genetic heritage, you have carte blanch to say all kinds of hateful things about blacks without reserve.  You shouldn’t say hateful things about anybody, and neither should blacks.  So why do they call each other the n-word all the time?

“#alllivesmatter”

First of all, NOT all lives matter.  Does the life of a child molester matter?  What about the life of Charles Manson?  Secondly the idea behind this hashtag is that, in response to #blacklivesmatter, a few well-meaning, but too old to “get it” conservatives responded by saying that we’re ALL in this rat race together.  The #blacklivesmatter protesters responded by saying, “you’re just deflecting from the REAL problem, man!  Blacks are getting killed in the streets by cops, and you don’t see it as a problem!”  Well, it is a problem, and it could easily be solved; just stop committing crimes, and you won’t be hassled by the man, man!  Okay, I get it.  There are cops who like to fuck with people.  But just look at the numbers.  Cops kill more whites than they do blacks.  When cops stopped patrolling in the Baltimore, the murder rate between the black gangs skyrocketed.  Oh, and Milwaukee.  So, to all the #blacklivesmatter activists out there: all lives do not matter, but you can sure try to help your community prove otherwise.

“brings up black on black crime”

I personally don’t care about black on black crime because I don’t live in areas where there is much of it, but maybe black people SHOULD, since little kids get caught in the crossfire, and y’all iz killing off your own people.  Just a thought.

“white people were slaves, too!”

Well, they were.  So, what makes blacks so special in this regard?  The Japanese were tossed into internment during World War II and somehow survived the ordeal and now dominate the tech field, so what’s your problem?

“reverse racism”

Bleh…

“doesn’t ‘see race'”

Oh, I fucking see it!  But, I’m not the one constantly reminding everyone about it 24 hours a day.  ‘sides, how can I not see race when I have a hard-on for Asian women, specifically Korean women?

“i was bullied for being white”

Hmm, let’s see; we allow blacks to take isolated incidents and turn them into national stories, but white kids who live in black neighborhoods are supposed to be “understanding” of why they’re being put through their ordeal.  Fortunately my parents moved out of the predominantly black Southfield, so I never experienced this.

“confederate flag”

Yeah, we took it down from every building, so racism is officially over, right?  No, but seriously, it’s not a racist symbol; people just want to think of it that way, in spite it representing po’ white trash from the South, rather than the slave masters.  But, in our politically correct climate, Dukes of Hazard was cancelled, and amazon.com won’t sell the flag anymore.  And guess what; they’re STILL not happy.  Some guy has now claimed that the “don’t tread on me” flag is racist.  You know what’s not racist?  The swastika.  It’s an Indian peace symbol.  We need to bring it back.

“quotes MLK out of context”

What context should I quote him in?  I personally don’t remember a single line King has said other than “I have a dream”, so if I to quote that, I guess it would be out of context, since I don’t think King had a dream about hunting for gold during the gold rush only to have the western imagery fade away, and reveal itself to be a hologram created by a simulator machine.  So, if he did have this dream, then I suppose I’m quoting him in context.

“slavery is over”

Well, it IS.  So, what’s the problem?  I get it; slavery is over, but apparently subtle forms of discrimination are still going on.  And it won’t stop because we’re guilty… and our children are guilty… and our children’s children are guilty… and they always will be, so stop pretending, you racist.

“brings up affirmative action”

What?  Just out of the blue?  Like while we’re watching a football game?  “Say, Chuck, have you heard about that affirmative action?  I hear it’s the worst!  I hope my children never come down with it!”  Actually, it IS bad, and it’s the reason why standards have gone down.  I mean, if people can’t pass certain exams, but you have to have quotas of those people in certain professions, then I guess you’ll just have to make the tests to get into those professions easier, won’t you?  I mean, if we don’t have an equal distribution of a certain demographic, then clearly we’re discriminating against that demographic.  Oh well, it’s not my house that’s burning down.

“has ‘dreadlocks’ or defends white dreads”

Good call; only gross, smelly people have dreadlocks.

“FREE”

The amount with which certain people want to live in certain parts of the country while other people pay for it.

“i’m not racist, i have black friends”

I’ve never understood why this was such an issue.  If you ARE racist or hold some sort of grudge towards black people, why WOULD you have black friends?  I can give a myriad of reasons, such as “access to crack or hookers”, but I’m not going to because no black person I know has access to those things.  Well, my dreadlock wearing, Zeppelin loving friend Jeff is the guy I did blow with from time to time.

“you’re not helping your cause by being hostile”

I completely agree with this one.  It’s pretty much been determined that every problem ever has been solved through hostility.  The worse the problem is, the more hostile you need to become.  And drunk.  That always helps.

“so black people can use the n-word but I can’t”

Which “n-word” are we talking about?  Nerd? Nazi? Necropolis? Napoleon?  Sheeyit, nigga, it’s not that I’m afraid of using it; it’s that I’m afraid of using it in front of people who will sock me in the mouth.  Incidentally, I don’t know why blacks would want to use that word since it’s not even a real word, but a phonetic pronunciation of “nigger”, and I don’t know any blacks who go, “Hi, nigger, how are you?”  If there are, let me know!

“i don’t have white privilege, i’m poor”

Dr. Dre, who is worth $500,000,000, is more downtrodden than a poor and starving white person.  He just is; don’t ask why.

“invalidates POC anger”

Still can’t help but think POC stands for “piece of crap.”  I SHOULDN’T think that, but I do.  That’s why I just stick to the colloquial of “black.”

“oh but if there was a white history month it would be racist”

We’ll just honor the accomplishments of white people in other ways; ya know, by using all of the inventions they’ve given to society.  Hey, I often don’t take credit for stuff I do either because, ya know.

“not ALL white people”

Not all white people what?  Watch television?  Listen to Metallica?  Take black dicks up the ass?

“fucking sjws”

Yeah, fuck ’em.  They’re annoying.  They’re the reason why college has been reduced to a joke and why every millennial crybaby, who claims to be part of an oppressed group, needs a “safe space.”

“we’re all one race the human race! uwu”

I SUPPOSE if it eats, breathes, shit, walks on two legs and stands upright it belongs to the human race, but this whole “one race” thing is defined rather loosely.  I really wish I wasn’t part of the same race as, I dunno… you fill in someone who is totally lame, but make sure it isn’t a black person so nobody gets the wrong idea.

“white people are discriminated against, too”

Hey, I want to be part of the NBA, but my 5’7″ height prevents it.  Do YOU want to watch basketball with 6′ high baskets?  Didn’t think so.

“brings up discrimination against Irish people”

So, it’s not enough to mention that white people as a whole don’t deserve to have their history of discrimination recognized.  Now you have to mention that the subjugation of a specific group of whites all of a sudden doesn’t count?  Is that because of Ann Sterzinger’s shitty dating past?  Well SORRY, but even she realizes that there are good Irish people.  Or maybe she doesn’t.  Goddamn potato scarfing, alcoholic bastards.

“learn to take a joke”

Okay, I get it; if you’re friend Clarissa runs to you after she had just been gang raped by a group of Chinese Jews (NOT by blacks, you racist!!!), and you say, “hey, Clarissa, did you hear the joke about the girl named Clarissa who was just gang raped by a group of Chinese Jews?!” and then follow that up with, “what? Learn to take a joke!”, you might be an asshole.  But, in probably most other cases, especially those that aren’t grounded in anything personal, learn to take a joke, faggot.

Now go home and listen to Chuck Berry, Jimi Hendrix, Thin Lizzy, Living Colour, Body Count and Bad Brains at the same time while watching re-runs of Sanford & Son.

 

I Was Interviewed By Matt Forney for This AltRight Life at Right On.

I was interviewed for over an hour for Matt Forney’s show This AltRight Life over at RightOn.net.  We talked about our time hanging outside the RNC, including being chased around by SJW zombies and attending Milo’s fab cocktail party, my Punks for Trump t-shirts and the leftist hijacking of punk rawk.  Hopefully you’ll find listening to it as enjoyable as I found doing it.

The SavageHippie Guide to Good Trolling

20160814_141814There comes a time in your life when you have to admit the undeniable truth to yourself; I’m a troll, and I really like being a troll because trolling idiots is funny!  Now, I can’t say I’m the BEST troll because, unlike a certain Eugene Nix, who you can read about here, and to whom you can listen to David Cole, Ann Sterzinger and I talk to on our podcast here, I don’t have the planning or wherewithal to pull the caper he did.  However, what I do have, like Eugene Nix, is the ability spot the cliches, use them against people and cause these people to have a visceral reaction.  And that is fuckin’ funny.  I’m more of a real life troll, the guy who gets punched in the face when my use of absurdity is misinterpreted by people with no sense of humor.  And I admit that I TOO have been caught in this trap.

But, before we get to all that, let’s define precisely what a troll is and why a troll exists.  Being a Luddite – having found out what rickrolling is when I was rickrolled by phony balloney “libertarian” Julie Borrowsky, of all people – I came to this internet culture way late in life, so the things that I had been doing IN real life have become manifest all over the interwebs, where it seems the entire Western world spends its life even WHEN they’re out exploring the world.  Again, I just bought my first smart phone so I am learning how addicting going on the internet can be even when in public among friends and thinking that showing other people pictures of the band you’re watching or whatever cool knick knack you found fulfills a certain desire, satisfies a certain need.  I call it narcissism, and anyone who claims that they don’t have a little of it is lying.

So, anyway, in real life, I found it amusing to say over the top or odd stuff just to get a reaction.  Only later did I learn that this was “trolling.”  The major thing about saying things to get a reaction is that you need other people around who understand what you’re doing, to understand that you’re putting on a show.  But, on top of that, you’re also putting the “victim” of your charade to a test.  Is that person smart enough to “get it”?  Can you tell by that person’s reaction that he or she knows you’re kidding?  Like I said, I’ve been on the receiving end and later disappointed that I wasn’t in on the joke at the time of it happening.

For instance, when I was 16, some guy I didn’t know came up to me at a record store in a mall and asked me, “can I fuck you in the ass?”  I did a double take and kinda, trying to play cool, said something like, “um, errr, well, I don’t do that dude, but good luck…” only to have Jared fucking Yellin walk up after and say, “hey this is my friend…”  I was so disappointed by how easily I was taken in when it should have been obvious how absurd the situation was.  Maybe if we were at Fire Island, just asking a random person if you can fuck that person in the ass might seem like a normal thing to do, but, even IF this guy was trying to suss out another fag, he would most likely have a more subtle way of doing it.  In other words, I got punked!  If I HAD been more perceptive, I would have said something along the lines of “sorry, only pitcher, not catcher.”

How good you are at trolling is contingent on a few key factors.  One of them is your victim.  As funny as I found Borat to be, one can’t deny that Sasha Baren Cohen’s targets in that movie weren’t exactly positioned very high.  Yes, his trolling was effective, but let’s face it; it was cheap and obvious.  It was elite America laughing at dumb rednecks and conservative politicians.  And, to keep with the politically correct narrative, the couple of experiences with blacks in that movie resulted in him being the butt of the joke, rather than them.

On the other hand, one of my recent FB status updates, is an example of good trolling.  The only problem I see with it is that I wasted it by putting it on my FB wall, where it garnered a few laughs from some friends, while confusing others, rather than placing it in the comments section for NPR, New York Times or Huffington Post.  In attempting to laugh at the left, I had inadvertently punked my friends Scott V. and Joseph C., who actually thought they “lost another one.”  Like with the previous “can I fuck you in the ass” incident, we all get punked.  Here is what I wrote:

So sick of people and their “cause” and “effect.” Trump needs to apologize to Clinton and Obama for saying they started ISIS. ISIS just happened, okay? Just like the Nazis, every few years enemies just appear. Nobody knows from where, and really, it’s not important. They just do. What interest would Clinton and Obama have in starting ISIS? ISIS kill people, and why would our secretary of state want that? Donald Trump and ISIS are bad for the real heroes of this story, the Muslims, and I mean the real Muslims, not the violent radicals.

Now let’s break this down.  The opening sentence is so fundamentally absurd that anyone with half a brain – barring of course Scott V. and Joseph C., who have fully functioning and intelligent brains, but were just caught off guard – would see that as a dead giveaway.  I put the words “cause” and “effect” in ironic quotes to imply that those things need not be considered and that only idiots would pay attention to cause and effect.  At that point, the brain should be thinking, “haha, very funny, asshole.”

But the onslaught doesn’t end there.  I say Trump needs to apologize to Clinton and Obama for saying they started ISIS.  Most informed people realize that Clinton and Obama had something to do with starting ISIS, even if indirectly – ya know, that Iraq war thing.  So why would he need to apologize?  The only people who complained about Trump’s statements are idiot leftists who didn’t think for a second that Trump didn’t mean they literally were the heads of ISIS.  THEN, I turn up the absurdity to 11 with my statement about how “Just like the Nazis, every few years enemies just appear. Nobody knows from where, and really, it’s not important. They just do.”  REALLY?  They just do?  Like magic?  Again, should be a dead giveaway.

And then I ask, “What interest would Clinton and Obama have in starting ISIS? ISIS kill people, and why would our secretary of state want that?”  This is after Benghazi and after Clinton has been accused of being a sociopath, so again, this post is unrelenting in its obvious stupidity.

And then finally I say, “Donald Trump and ISIS are bad for the real heroes of this story, the Muslims, and I mean the real Muslims, not the violent radicals.”  Anybody who knows me knows that I’m no fan of Islam and that I think there is a pathology in the Muslim community, which allows them to tacitly approve terrorism while impeding any attempt to stop it by calling investigations and tougher measures “discrimination.”  There is no fathomable way the Muslims are the heroes of this or any narrative.

So, there you go; a perfect 10 in terms of trolling, something befitting the comment section at Huffington Post or New York Times, where anyone who agrees becomes a target for ridicule in my sick show.  Similarly, it functions well at a conservative blog; if someone gets the joke, that person might chime in with equally ridiculous and hyperbolic statements.  If someone does not, that person might angrily react, or as Joseph C. posted under the comment:

trolling4

The bottom line is that, to be a good troll, your post has to be able to be taken seriously by the truly stupid, seen as a joke by the intelligent and, on occasion, cause confusion among people who should know better but were caught off guard.

 

I Was Interviewed by John Steele for His Channel

I was interviewed by John Steel for his channel.  No, that is not him in the picture with me; that is Mark “Barney” Greenway of Napalm Death.  If he happens to stumble upon this, he might not be too happy to be talking to such a staunch… well, whatever it is that I am.

Towards the end of the slideshow is me with former friend Nick, who, in spite his shaved head and Doc Martins, is no more of a “skinhead” than, I dunno, Trigglypuff?  That guy mooched off of me for years – whether it was for beers or rides to gigs – so I’m not exactly upset about not having him in my life.  Like your typical, easily triggered SJW, his reaction to my support for the Donald was similar to how a guy reacts when his girlfriend tells him she’s been knocked up.  Good riddance!

Anyway, this was a fun interview.  John Steele and I discuss a whole bunch of stuff; the effects of feminism on modern society, multiculturalism, my time hanging out at the RNC, meeting Milo, the brazen dishonesty of the mainstream media and of course what it means to be a Savage Hippie.

Please listen!

A Hilarious Exchange with an SJW

soaring_eagle_Indians_Nazi_salute_2I know: I’m a masochist.  If people on the left, mainly SJWs, are r-selected, rather than K-selected, they really can’t help themselves, and it’s pretty useless arguing with them.  But, I try, only to have it shoved back in my face with ad hominem attacks – the biggest, stupidest, most glaring one, of course, is that I’m at the ‘rents house, even though I’ve lived on my own numerous times in the past – and completely irrelevant facts.

My favorite is the one where people say, “yeah, let’s not let in the mud people because they’re trying to take away the land we stole from the Indians.”  Pretty clever, huh?  This person’s logic holds that, even if the “mud people” (his words, not mine) ARE invading, we sorta deserve to be conquered because of what the white man did to the Indians in the past.  Well, sorry homie, but my parents came to the United States in 1974.  Oh, WAIT, they’re immigrants, therefore we need to let in ALL immigrants.  Oh WAIT, my dad was an engineer and my mom was a chemist, and neither of them went on welfare or worked under the table.  And they came here legally.

The conversation I’m going to talk about began with Donald Trump and the Syrian rapefugees, and of course degenerated into name calling.  Lord knows I tried to be civil, but this guy, being an SJW, in order to maintain his views, NEEDED to have me be a right wing caricature in order to maintain his narrative.  He needs me to be a David Duke-esque virgin, who jerks off to anime and lives at home, in order to have moral high ground, because otherwise, his arguments are just too weak.  I created most of this from memory, but I SWEAR it’s as accurate as can be without being too self-aggrandizing.

Me: We shouldn’t let Syrian rapefugees into the country.  Look at what happened to Europe.  It became the rape capital of the Western world after they lett Muslim immigrants in.  I don’t want that happening here.

Him: Well, ya know, Christianity is just as bad because of the Crusades. Okay, I know you, as the reader are thinking, “no way, he’s not that stupid”, but I SWEAR this was actually something he pointed out before smugly saying, “why don’t you read a book.”

Me: You’re a retard (yeah, I called him a retard) for pointing out something that happened more than 700 years ago to justify essentially trying to kill off the West by letting Muslims invade it.  Also you’re inviting rape culture into the country.

Him: Those claims of rape in European countries are completely unsubstantiated – in other words, since they were committed by those saintly brown people, white women deserved it, or are probably lying because “racism” – and 1 in 4 women on college campuses are raped every year.  We have the rape culture.

Me: Is it 1 in 4?  Didn’t they change it to 1 in 5 and then 1 in 7?  Don’t they keep changing the definition of rape so it seems higher because they’re on witch hunt?  Either way, I told a girl at a bar that she has a nice ass.  This is true because she did and she had black hair and tattoos, and looked punky/hipstery, so she was probably a feminist and doesn’t realize how much that compliment will mean to her in 30 years.

Him: Of course you would, you probably have never even touched a girl outside of your mom (now, it’s personal).

Me: Don’t worry about me, man.  I get plenty of pussy.

Him: Huh, people who talk about it don’t get it. (really clever one, isn’t he?)

Me: Oh, actually I’m seeing someone right now, and we went to the Soaring Eagle casino for a weekend of gambling, fucking and pot smoking.

Him: Woa, so rebellious, don’t tell your mom! (why wouldn’t I tell her about that? It was Amanda’s mom who set the whole thing up.)

Me: I just can’t win with you, can I?

Him: No, you’re a basement dwelling, t-shirt making (referring to my wicked cool Punks for Trump shirts) fascist.

Me:

I’m actually starting to like this song; not for the lyrics of course.