Savage Hippie Episode 51 – Never Violate the NPAP (Non Passive Aggression Principle)

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This is probably one of my favorite episodes we’ve done. I spent a lot of time editing down the original “recording session” to the brisk and fun podcast that you are about to listen to. The sound is (relatively) good; it moves along at a decent pace; and there’s a good balance of politics, comedy and personal anecdotes. David Cole, Ann Sterzinger and I discuss annoying anarcho-libertarian ideologues, Somali “refugees” in Fargo, Dr. Who now being a woman and, of course, (big sigh) the trannies.

Ann also proposes her plan to end socialism once and for all, and there’s plenty of racial slurs and belittling of women, minorities and the “differently abled” to keep the hipster racist entertained.

This week’s Sounds of Marshabaloosh segment features experimental sludge metal overlords, the Melvins, one of my favorite bands of all time. The song we feature is called “Euthanasia”, and it originally appeared on the 1990 Amphetamine Reptile records compilation album Dope-Guns-‘n-Fucking in the Streets Volume 4-7. The version we feature here is a new recording, appearing on their new album, A Walk with Love & Death. Listen to it here.

David did the NPAPish artwork, and the song at the end is “The Diet Has Failed” by the Yesticles.

You Can’t Bring Your Dick Back, but You Can Kill Muslims

george_takai_militaryI know it’s hard for the precious reader to fathom the idea that the person writing this piece has ever had trouble with the ladiez, but it’s true! There are times when I go out to the bar, talk to a few broads and strike out! I realize that I look unfathomably good, but it indeed does happen. I’m trying to make myself look better through a tough workout and diet regimen, which will flatten my stomach and bring out my chest, so I strike out less. But indeed, there are nights – many of them – where I’m forced to retreat to my room and have sex by my lonesome, coming up with all manner of depraved scenario in my head (I don’t watch very much pornography), giving myself the satisfaction I was unable to obtain via some skank or lonely barfly.

Of course I’m not alone in this regard; most men aren’t Casanovas. And, since our teachers taught us in sex ed that strokin’ the ol’ pole is a natural function, there’s nuthin’ to be ashamed of. In fact, it’s damn near necessary sometimes. Hell, it’s SO necessary, that when you HAVEN’T jerked off in a while, your body will force you to extract some of your milky, white testicle ooze during a wet dream.

And just to gross out the reader even more, when I was drunkenly and sloppily banging Jo the ex-stripper, who does the “fill in puzzles”, and I kept pumping and pumping and pumping, blowing one wad after another and charging back up within seconds before pumping and pumping and pumping some more, she asked the fundamental question about the male sex drive; “aren’t you satisfied?” In fact, she privately messaged me and told me “you were like a machine last night!”

Machine-like fucking notwithstanding, she understood that the male sex organ, the DICK, if you will, CRAVES satisfaction; that rising feeling that keeps getting better and better and better until it peaks and a release occurs, causing semen to shoot out of the tiny slit in the head of the mushroom. When women say, “guys only think with their dicks”, they’re right. The NEED to satisfy the urge is so incredibly strong that guys will lose friendships, get into fights, risk their lives, accumulate great amounts of wealth and build entire civilizations because of it; men have gone to war, and empires have been destroyed because of it. I’m not going to go into the specific seduction techniques a woman would need to control a man via the power of the male sex drive, but let’s put it this way; if you’re a woman of even moderate attractiveness, you pretty much never need to work.

On top of that, many women have NO IDEA how therapeutic sex can be. People say music soothes the savage beast. Wrong; sex does. It releases endorphins, truly taking the “edge off” a shitty day and calming the nerves. In Falling Down, all Michael Douglas needed  was a good blowjob…

So, what happens when you can’t relieve the tension in your loins?

The most striking thing about Born on the 4th of July was how Tom Cruise’s character had lost his dick in Vietnam. The fact that he had to piss through a tube was bad enough, but the hooker he hired was utterly useless. What could she do for him? Rub his back? Lick his ear? Those are the things you do to tease a man before giving him the payoff, that is pleasuring his holy mushroom. Hell, my dick instantly hardens when someone rubs my nipple. All pleasure sensations eventually lead to the dick, and he didn’t have one.

In Sam Fuller’s World War II epic, The Big Red One, after an explosion, one of the characters feels around his crotch and excitedly exclaims, “I still have my dick!” And don’t think there is ANYTHING funny about that. You could lose both arms, both legs, both ears and both eyes, have your tongue sliced off and half your face blown off, but if there’s a woman who can stomach blowing or fucking you, somehow life JUST doesn’t seem so bad.

You’re probably thinking, “yeah, okay, okay, I get it. Guys need their dicks, but what’s you point?”

I’m getting there, asshole!

Trannies are this week’s topic du jour thanks to Donald Trump banning them from serving in the military. And, while I have no problem with this decision, all sorts of issues have been brought up with regards to this sub-sub-sub-sub sect of society, one that nobody even thought about until some mentally ill assholes decided to shove their daddy issues down everyone’s throats.

“Transgenderism” is completely made up bullshit. You’re either a transvestite, which means you enjoy wearing women’s clothing, or you’re a transsexual, which means you had your dick cut off and replaced with an artificial vagina.

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And don’t get me wrong; I love John Waters’ films, but I would NEVER considered Divine to be a woman, and neither does John Waters.

“But, Edwin”, you say, “I STILL don’t understand what this has to do with men needing their dicks.”

Well, dipshit, what happens when a man becomes a transsexual? He done can’t use his dick no mo’. The physical male pleasure center is GONE, baby, and it ain’t NEVER comin’ back. I’ve read that the phony vagina uses the same nerves from the original penis, and the penis head is crafted into a clitoris of sorts, but I highly doubt the same satisfaction is ever achieved again. I mean REAL women, ya know, the ones who were born with a vagina, a uterus, an XX chromosome and the estrogen that makes them so emotional, complain that they have a hard time getting off. So the idea that one could achieve with an artificial vagina the same satisfaction one once achieved with his dick is pretty hard to believe.

Of course, the man who decided to become a “woman” knew all of this, right? Well, you would think. One of the biggest arguments against the “transgender” trend is that there is a 40% rate of suicide associated with it. The most popular and naturally foolhardy explanation for the high rate of suicide among trannies is that they get bullied and harassed to the point of wanting to off themselves.

Think about this VERY carefully… VERY VERY VERY carefully…

WHAT FUCKING GROUP OF PEOPLE HASN’T BEEN HARASSED AND BULLIED AT SOME POINT DURING HUMAN HISTORY??!!

According to this article, the high suicide rate among “transgendered” people has nothing to do with discrimination, but their high level of mental illness and depression. I’ll take it one step further. I would LOVE to see an HONEST study which EXPLICITLY measures the suicide rates of post-op trannies; because, you know what we call pre-op trannies in non-retarded land? MEN WHO DRESS LIKE WOMEN!!!

And remember, once you make the “transition” to the dickless side, there is no going back; no more nights of looking at whatever gives you a boner and relieving tension in a few simple strokes; no more splattering your goo onto your bedroom wall or sex partner’s face; no more endorphin release… it’s ALL gone…

On the other hand, if the ridiculous idea of aiding and abetting a dinky percent of the population pans out though Supreme Court fiat, and trannies are eventually allowed to serve in the military, they could relieve all their pent up sexual frustration by blowing away Islamic terrorists, so I guess it’s a win win.

Savage Hippie Episode 50 – A Two Hour Eulogy for George A. Romero

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In this ultra-hyper, super special episode of the Savage Hippie podcast, David Cole and I eschew the boring politics to talk about the films of George A. Romero, the legendary film director, who passed away on July 16, 2017. Ann Sterzinger sat this one out ’cause, ya know, gurlz.

First we talk about all six of Romero’s “living dead” pictures. Then we leave a sliver of time in the last quarter of the episode to discuss the other films he did. The listener might be surprised to discover just how varied Romero’s films are. Aside from his genre-defining zombie films and other horror pictures, Romero attempted to make an experimental art film, two dramas and a weird, psychological character study. He’s also done a few stinkers, but what director hasn’t?

We also discuss other directors like David Cronenberg, Dario Argento, Alfred Hitchcock and Orson Welles, the often hotly debated “auteur theory” as it applies to Romero and David’s political video, in which he uses the Goblin song “Pie in the Face” to criticize the hypocrisy of the media.

For Sounds of Marshabaloosh, we violate all copyright laws by playing three songs by the Italian progressive group Goblin from the Dawn of the Dead soundtrack album. In case you’re wondering, Goblin also did the soundtrack for the Dario Argento films Deep Red, Suspiria and Phenomena, along with a number of other films.

And David did the masterful artwork.

Racist Chicks Turn Me On!

me_racist_girls_turn_me_onThe easiest ways to make me not want to talk to you if you’re a girl include, but are not limited to, the following:

a.) calling yourself “non-binary” or any of the other made-up, nonsensical gender designations that fall outside of “girl”, “woman”, “gyno-American” or “person who was born with a vagina, a uterus and an XX chromosome.”

b.) referring to the poor rube that you roped into a relationship as your “partner”, rather than your boyfriend

c.) asserting your political views over my biological needs.

I remember telling a former lady friend – oh hell, it was Sara B, who recently tagged me in a Facebook post telling our old friends to avoid me because I’m “raciss” or some shit – about a date I went on, where the girl said something along the lines of “I don’t have a problem with the good ones”, referring to black people. She could have been referring to Jews, but casually racist girls – who I find pretty hot, as the title of this piece says  – typically don’t think deeply enough to consider whether Jews are a religion, race or ethnicity; to them I’m just a white guy.

As a matter of fact, I was hanging out with some friends, and this cute chick saw me pull out my old flip phone and asked me if I’m Jewish, implying that I’m too cheap to get a smart phone. I said, “yeah… was that just a guess?” And she said, “I just kinda figured.” Then we had a brief discussion about whether it would make more sense for me to have already owned a smart phone since, given my background, I can allegedly afford all of the latest and greatest in technology (and I did eventually get a smart phone, but that’s besides the point). Regardless, this wasn’t a value judgment on her part; just a curious observation. NUTTIN’ WRONG WITH THAT!!!

Then I asked the big one: “do you consider me white?” She seemed rather bemused by my question. I’ll let the AltRighters in the audience ponder what her answer was.

But anyway, I was telling Sara about this date, and her response to my date’s claim of “I don’t have a problem with the good ones” was so typical of the SJW dogooder: “HOW COULD YOU DATE SOMEONE LIKE THAT?! OH MY GAWD, I CAN’T BELIEVE PEOPLE THINK LIKE THAT IN (insert the current year)! Dude, I hope you really consider not seeing this person. Or if you do, at least tell her how big of a racist piece of shit she is, and THEN don’t see her again.”

Easy for you to say, toots. You may deliberately be trying to make yourself look as ugly as possible with the weird, unnatural hair colors and your nerd glasses and your preachy, off-putting attitude, but that hasn’t stopped you from having an army of guys lining up to date you.

Me? On a good day, I’m a 7.5 and can land a decent looking chick if I put a modicum of effort into it; in fact a second after I wrote the last sentence, I caught a cute Asian chick checking me out. HOWEVER, I don’t have it as easy as you. SO DON’T TRY TO TELL ME WHO I CAN AND CAN’T DATE, YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS BITCH.

But then it got me thinking; there IS a certain charm that comes from a girl who unashamedly makes statements like, “I don’t have a problem with the good ones” or asks questions like “are you Jewish?” I find that level of innocence and lack of ideological bias to be incredibly cute and refreshing. And honestly, do you really think, when someone says “I have no problem with the goods ones”, that he or she has any particular malice behind his or her words, or that he or she wish to do harm to the people who he or is talking about? If you answered “yes” to either of these questions, I highly suggest you seek treatment for your paranoia.

I remember reading an OKCupid profile where a girl insisted that no black men contact her. Horrible and racist, isn’t it? Well, I messaged her, and it turns out that she actually dated a black man for several years, and in the last year of their relationship, he beat the living shit out of her. I think, in her case, we can give her a pass. Her experiences with a black man, one who I’m assuming was more Tupac Shakur, than Sidney Poitier, has forever colored (no pun intended) her experience with the “black experience.” If you blame HER for her “racism”, YOU’RE a domestic violence apologist. She also complained that she only gets hit on by blacks. Sweetie, with an enormous – and dare I say, rather cute – bubble butt like that, what do you expect? I’ll be your knight in shiny Jewish armor, but you gotta stop with the country music. At least the modern kind.

But the bottom line is twofold. The first is that dates are SO MUCH MORE fun when they don’t turn into political debates. And the second is that, provided a woman hasn’t been brainwashed by the the Marxist propaganda in the media or the university she goes to, she is an ideological blank slate; the only strong opinions women hold are those that directly affect them and their little worlds. Isn’t the recent “red pilling” of longtime internet feminist Laci Green a perfect example of this? She spent years vituperating against “patriarchy” and “rape culture”, and then an anti-feminist man comes along and sweeps her off her feet, and now she’s no longer a feminist.

My tattoo artist and friend told me, “if a woman is into something really cool, thank her previous boyfriend.”

Geez, I’ll give women more credit than that. Thus far, at 33 years of age, I’ve dated, slept with and/or kinda fallen in love with a corrections officer, an oral hygienist, a World War II history major, a nerdy librarian, a tattoo artist, a school teacher, a restaurant cook, a bunch of women who I have no idea what they did/do and two ex-strippers, one of whom has realistic looking fake boobs and does “fill-in puzzles” (hey, Jo!).

None of them EVER tried to police my language, and many surprised me with their rather course choice of words regarding various races and/or ethnic groups; Tasha, my super hot former manager at the Sunglass Hut, which I rudely quit without giving any notice, blatantly said that she doesn’t like Mexicans after someone (who you can assume is Mexican) tried to steal a pair of sunglasses. Just like that! Can you imagine what would have happened if I recorded what she said and reported it? When I was in college, my ex Melissa (the chick that fucked Dave “Oderus Urungus” Brockie of Gwar), printed up the lyrics to “Nasty Boy” by Notorious BIG, taped them to the door of her dorm room and posted “Celebrate Black history month” above it. Just in case you’re wondering, here are some of the lyrics:

Then we came home, mad messages was on my phone
Bitch named Simone
Screamin, she fiendin for the semen
Me bein the man that I am
Took it to her condo pronto
Half Indian, I called her Tonto
Roll the chron’chron’ in the dark pronto
Few puffs, eyes got low
And off to the bedroom we go
Sex is drama, head is trauma
Ripped pajamas, I’ma stay ’til tomorrow
Satisfying all my needs twice
With whipped cream, handcuffs and ice
The bitch is nice, word is bond
Can’t wait to put my niggas on, what? What?

She was pretty funny.

Savage Hippie Episode 49 – More Fun Aboard Trump’s Flying Circus

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Sorry it’s taken so damn long to get episode 49 out. Part of the reason for the delay is that I’ve been moving around a lot and trying to get my footing in Los Angeles, and the other and more important reason is that Ann Sterzinger kept sounding like an alien broadcasting from inside of an echo tube flying through outer space, and we couldn’t figure out why. However, we switched our recording process, and whadaya know? Ann and David Cole both sound great, and now I sound like I’m inside of a garbage can.

Of course, you probably don’t care about that since you listen to the show for Ann and David and probably skip through the parts where I talk; but it is annoying considering that David and I are literally sitting next to each other and sharing a microphone.

Anyway, a lot has happened in the month that we’ve been away. Some of it is personal, such as the release of Ann’s new book, Disaster Fitness (buy, buy, buy!) and our friend and listener David McPheeters shooting someone in the back five times. Some of it is pop-cultural, such as this shitty rap metal band called Stray From the Path making an anti-AltRight video, which I actually wrote a piece about, and Shia LeBeouf getting arrested for drunken and disorderly conduct and his tirade against a couple of police officers. And some is political, such as CNN’s near implosion and Donald Trump Jr.’s emails.

We also talk about sex and poop.

The band featured in this week’s Sounds of Marshabaloosh is none other than Dream Machine, who not only are an awesome psychedelic heavy rock band, but were kicked off of their label for statements they made about illegal immigrants, feminism and political correctness. If you want more info on them, read my interview with guitarist/singer Matthew Melton. The Dream Machine song we feature is called “Buried Alive” and is from their album, The Illusion, which you can listen to here.

The artwork, which comes from The King of Comedy, was suggested by a fan and then handed over to another fan, who prefers not to be named, but did the awesome Photoshop artwork. Once again, the song at the end is “The Diet Has Failed” by the Yesticles.

Rap Metal Against Racism

limp_bizkit_antifaProbably the stupidest, yet longest lasting argument in the punk rock underground is whether a person can listen to a band in spite what they stand for. I remember getting chastised for professing my love for… ready for this… BAD BRAINS. One would think that being a fan of the Bad Brains, the all black punk band from Washington, D.C., would be the ultimate virtue signal, right?

Nope. As it turns out, the Bad Brains weren’t too fond of homos, and they weren’t quiet about it either. They attacked fellow hardcore bands like the Dicks, the Big Boys and Hüsker Dü for being “bloodclot faggots.” See, the Bad Brains adopted Rastafarian culture, and one thing the Rastafarians, much like the Muslims, can’t stand are “bloodclot faggots.” Now, does that matter to me personally? Of course not. I just like their music; super tight and fast hardcore punk with metal riffs and the occasional reggae jam thrown in. Most of the time I can’t even understand what they’re saying.

But I was yelled at for being one of those guys who “only cares about the music.” I’M NOT KIDDING. I was accused of not being righteous enough, of ONLY caring that I liked the music. You can probably assume that, for some of these people, listening to Skrewdriver is completely out of the question. I’ve talked about Skrewdriver before, but as a refresher, they were a 70s punk band that dressed like skinheads and released a couple of singles and one album of normal, generic, but still pretty catchy punk rock before their singer, Ian Stuart, continued to use the name with a whole new set of backing musicians and reinvented them as a white power band. And musically speaking, they’re okay.

Actually this type of thought policing has become pretty common in punk rock and other underground music genres; among other things, it has lead to bands being thrown off festivals and out of gigs for allegedly having “nefarious” views. “What? Your band was released by THAT label?” “You were seen hanging out with THAT guy?” “I KNOW what those symbols REALLY stand for, bucko! We’re hip to your game!”

Hey look! Here’s Wattie from the Exploited hanging out with what looks like a Nazi skinhead.

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But look at this! Here he is hanging out with a black guy wearing a Motörhead t-shirt!

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Well, fuck me sideways! Which one is it? Is he a Nazi, or is he not a Nazi? I don’t know, and I won’t ever again be able to listen to the Exploited until this issue is resolved.

Sadly, with such a low bar set on the quality of the music, and such a high bar set on “social justice”, the question I have for Antifas, punk rockers and other underground music weirdos is, “how SHITTY will you let your music get provided that the band shares your views?” Case in point, this brand spanking new video from a band called Stray From the Path. Go ahead, watch the video. I dare ya!

Not sure how far you got into video, but it’s not good. First, there’s the music. After a few bars of pick slides going up and down the guitar neck set to a funky drum beat, the singer, who (perhaps ironically) has a similar haircut to Milo Yiannopoulos and sounds like the singer from Rage Against the Machine, shouts “you just got knocked the fuck out!”; then a generic, overly-compressed, nu-metal riff plays behind his whiny, white boy rapping. Some of the phrases I could make out in the song include “fist held high”, “punishment fits the crime”, “racist President”, “it’s 2017”, “eye for an eye”, “that’s what he said”, “fuck him, and fuck you too”…

…did he just say, “we used to never let these dickheads have any control”? Which “dickheads” is he talking about? Is he implying that, back in the day, his righteous peeps, who don’t look like their older than 25, never let the Nazi skinheads have control of a venue?

Back up the train, negro. Since I was 14 years old, back in the late 90s, I started going to shows at Harpos in Detroit, where I saw Gwar (where my ex Melissa fucked Dave “Oderus Urungus” Brockie!), the Misfits (with Michale Graves, the place was packed!), the Dead Kennedys (with Brandon Cruz, only about 20 people showed up!), Danzig, Clutch, Corrosion of Conformity, Manowar, Motörhead, Cradle of Filth, Rotting Christ, Usurper, Six Feet Under, Murphy’s Law, Cannibal Corpse and even heavy metal’s number one homo ROB MOTHERFUCKING HALFORD. The place was known as a hangout for neo-Nazis, and I’ve even met a few. Someone told me a story where a bunch of Nazi skinheads started fights and pushed people around at G.B.H. and Napalm Death shows since both of those bands are openly anti-racist. At the Danzig gig, I saw a bunch of them doing Hitler salutes. Now, is chunky Milo implying in the video that he and his peeps would have taken a stand against these guys, many of whom are built like linebackers and either fresh out of or on the way to prison? I’m sure that would have worked out REALLY well.

…other choice passages from the song include “preach hate”, “what makes you think that you’re the superior race?!” and of course the very original “NAZI PUNKS FUCK OFF!!!”.

But secondly, and barring the fact that the band members don’t look too different from what many AltRighters look like, the video tells the story in which a guy in a MAGA hat goes into his home, where he has a Hitler poster and a bunch of swastikas on his wall and a TV playing clips of Richard Spencer at one of his “identitarian” conferences, and plan some sort of terrorist attack, only to have his plans foiled by “brave” anti-racist “activists”, who break into his home, mug him at gun point, beat him down, tie him up and tattoo a swastika onto his forehead.

I mean, I can’t even. Andy Nowicki and I disagree over which is the more important problem with the video; that it sets up a ridiculous straw man, saying it’s okay to beat up anybody who you perceive to be a Nazi, which Richard Spencer is most certainly not (they could have at least gotten it right and put Andrew Anglin on the TV) or that the song sucks ding dongs. I say the latter. As of this writing, the “Goodnight Alt-Right” video has received 16,301 dislikes (one of which is mine, thank ya very much!) and 2,960 likes. It’s not totally clear if most viewers of the video don’t agree with the message, just think the song blows or both. If you want a video with a stupid, “anti-Nazi” message that’s set to a good song by a good band, click here! At least the Off! video resembles a grindhouse flick and has Brian Posehn, Dave Foley and David Yow playing Nazis in it.

But the question I have for the Antifas, punks and underground music weirdos is: are you okay with rap metal just as long as they don’t do it just for the nookie?

 

What, No Thanks for the Narcissistic Supply?

lisa_langloisBefore you ask, “why are you wasting so much time writing about a person who you allegedly don’t care about?”, the reason is because my readers demand this kinda trashy stuff, and I don’t wanna disappoint ’em! You may now continue.

A former friend of mine is the stupidest, laziest and least creative narcissist I have ever known. Rather than channeling her attention whoring skills into getting a writing job at Slate, Salon or Buzzfeed or starting a youtube channel, where she could utilize her button-covered denim jacket and layers of cat-eye makeup to become the punk rock Laci Green or someone equally as annoying, she spends every waking (woke?) minute of her day on social media posting about how “outraged” she is at the “patriarchy” and “rape culture” and “manspreading” and “mansplaining” and all of the other goofy nonsense umpteenth-wave feminists invented so they could have something to feel righteous about. In fact, she’s so desperate for righteousness points, that she fails to realize that, in an effort to “raise awareness”, she causes all of the “sexist” and “racist” articles she posts to get more clicks, helping turn their authors into mini-celebrities. It’s through HER, that I first learned of Matt Forney, who I now consider a friend. So, thanks, Br(redacted).

I actually blocked this person along with everyone I used to be friends with that jumped aboard the leftist SJW bandwagon and considers Donald Trump to be Hitler/the Antichrist/etc. etc. etc. because having people like that on your Facebook friend list is a liability. You post something; that person comments on your post; you respond with anything that could be interpreted as “hate speech”; someone reports you; and you spend a month in Facebook jail, not being able to comment on people’s posts or respond to messages. You’re like Bruce Willis in The Sixth Sense; people wonder if you’re ignoring them, and you’re forced to start a second, third and forth FB account to keep in touch with them and peddle your wears. On top of that, leftists/liberals/SJWs have such thin skin, that you’ll get an angry mob that doesn’t have a clue about politics attacking you as a person, rather than trying to refute any of your well thought out points. Some of my favorite responses from these people are “kill yourself”, “delete your account” and “stop talking.” This all comes from people who consider themselves adults. Interacting with them is just not worth the hassle.

But apparently there isn’t much going on in Grand Rapids these days because the person that I’m talking about in this piece decided many years after we stopped talking to broadcast my current activities to her Facebook community by posting a recent Guardian article in which I’m quoted. I know it’s not exactly secret information, but how did she stumble upon it? Is she an avid reader of The Guardian? More importantly, why did she care enough to broadcast it to her little world? And EVEN MORE importantly, why did her little community feel the need to respond so passionately? One guy said I’m a white supremacist, and one guy said that I’m not rock ‘n’ roll (SLAM). It’s definitely flattering that so many people think of me years after I stopped living there and even more flattering that people feel so disgusted at the notion that I help David Cole organize events for people in Hollywood who hold “unpopular” views that could cause them to lose jobs in the film industry; I mean, GOD FORBID you talk about balancing the budget, shrinking the size of the federal government or supporting a more sensible, less debilitating immigration policy.

So, a week or two after I learned about this through a mutual friend, I sent the person on who this piece is based a little message in an attempt to advertise the Savage Hippie podcast to her friends, while also attempting to prove that she really IS that big of an attention whore.

Can you guess what she did?!

Now, GRANTED, my message wasn’t exactly charming, cute or clever. I told her how a “little birdie” told me that she was thinking about me and my activities, and I talked about the Savage Hippie podcast, mentioning both David and Ann and what they did, and for shits and giggles, I threw in this little story about our loyal listener, David McPheeters, who is going to be doing time for shooting someone in the back five times somewhere in Jacksonville, FL.

In response, she reported me to the Zuck, claiming that I threatened her. Neither David, nor Ann, nor anybody I asked perceived my message as threatening in any way. Creepy? Maybe. Unnecessary? Well, I mean, without it, I wouldn’t be able to write this piece for you, my lovely readers. The powers that be at Facebook didn’t think it was threatening either, otherwise I’d be in FB jail right now or at least would have gotten some sort of warning; she’ll probably chalk up my not getting thrown in FB jail to the “patriarchy” not taking the complaints of women seriously.

But was reporting me to Facebook enough for her? Take a lucky guess, cowboy.

She posted my private message on her Facebook wall, blasting it into the feeds of her two and a half thousand loyal followers; and hoo boy… there were calls for my death and my beat down and plenty of vitriol to go around for 150 or so comments/responses. One former friend suggested contacting my employer. Sorry, Sarah, but my “employer”, David Cole, wants to kill me more than you do. One person was the aging goth skank I wrote about in a different piece, who gives a mighty fine performance in bed, gives a blowjob to boot and got me beat up. She said she’d punch me herself this time; please do, but only after another blowjob and romp between the sheets. And one person even posted my phone number so people could text and harass me. Apparently their outrage wasn’t THAT sincere since I only received texts from two people; one of whom called me “a ignorant pig” (it’s “a ignint pig”, thank you very much!) and one who demanded I send a private apology. All while I was watching the Melvins! Can you believe the nerve of people trying to interrupt my Melvins concert experience?! I mean they were covering “Sacrifice” by Flipper! You don’t interrupt that.

But, let’s be honest here; rather than me send HER an apology, shouldn’t she send ME a thank you message? I mean, without me, she wouldn’t have gotten ALL of this attention from her Facebook followers, many of which are men ready to do her bidding. Especially now that she’s divorced, something she felt the need to broadcast to the whole world. I’m sure ALL of those guys coming to your aid are doing so just as “friends”, and want nothing in return… even if you were willing to give it to them.

So, I’m torn. Should I send a phony apology with this piece attached, have a mutual friend send it to her or hope that she stumbles upon it? In any of these cases, I certainly hope she sees it because I wouldn’t mind the Savage Hippie blog getting a few extra clicks.

Also, can someone ask the two Johns which band they like more: Big Star or the Raspberries. I’ve been mulling it over in my mind for the past week, and I was just wondering what they thought.