20 Punk Songs Your Newbie Poser Ass Hasn’t Heard

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Rolling Stone magazine released this list of the top 40 punk albums.  Unsurprisingly their list has a few questionable choices and seems intended to appeal more to the casual interloper, rather than the hardcore fan (and I don’t necessarily mean the fan of hardcore punk).  Then THIS guy had a bitch fit over it, babbling like a nerdy, bespectacled hipster about how certain bands don’t sufficiently count as punk rock and are actually part of sub-genres like ball-scratching-disco-wave or proto-post-riot-grrrl-menstro-core.  After that he claims the Stranglers, who sound like the Doors with an Oi! singer, ARE punk, while Gang of Four and Devo are not.  What are his criteria?  Who cares?  If you don’t know these songs, you’re not punk.

“Killer Man” – Gasoline

“Suck Suck” – X

“Freeze” – The Models

“I Wanna Be Rich” – Coldcock

“Rather See You Dead” – Legionaire’s Disease

“Ain’t Been to No Music School” – The Nosebleeds

“A Life of Our Own” – The Undead

“Can’t Stand the Midwest” – Dow Jones and the Industrials

“Hijack the Radio” – Nervebreakers

“Cola Freaks” – Lost Kids

“You’re Full of Shit” – The Electric Eels

“Dead End America” – The Pagans

“I’m a Bug” – The Urinals

“Faggot in the Family” – Aryan Disgrace

“Amerikan Story” – Cult Heroes

“Amerika First” – Gizmos

“Hillside Strangler” – The Hollywood Squares

“Gacy’s Place” – The Mentally Ill

“I Hate Punks” – Geza X and the Mommymen

“Kill the Hippies” – The Deadbeats

“Suicide a Go Go” – Big in Japan

“Panik” – Metal Urbain

“Slash Your Face” – The Dogs

“Baby You’re So Repulsive” – Crime

I think that might me twenty-two; fuck you!  Also, don’t cry to mommy about the Aryan Discrace song; the singer for the Cult Heroes is gay and black, so like, lighten up, fag.

Geza X and the Mommymen

You Goddam Kids! – Final Gear – 1981

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Geza X is an L.A. based producer and musician whose credits include some of the biggest names in punk – look ’em up, there are a ton! – and whose musician credits include playing guitar with the Bags (where he wore a bag over his head), the Deadbeats (of “Kill the Hippies” fame) and Silver Chalice.  However, as much of a music lover as he was, he only made one album of his own music with his band the Mommymen.  It’s really good.  I shall tell you about it now.

On You Goddam Kids!, Geza and his Mommymen – Bobby Paine (bass), Don Bonebreak (Marimba), Pat Delaney (saxophone), Paul Roessler (keyboards) and Brandon Mullen (drums) – have assembled a diverse yet cohesive collection of Devo and Oingo Boingo style quirkiness combined with Zappa-esque elements like use of xylophone and sax while throwing in a couple of novelty songs as well.  Oh wait, Oingo Boingo uses saxophones.  Well, scratch that then.

Gexa X sings in a weird, high-pitch, nerdy, nasally voice with the occasional vocal effects and yes, he does at times sounds like Mark Mothersbaugh.  His guitar has a very trebly yet processed tone; sort of like a cross between Geordie’s guitar on the second through fourth Killing Joke albums (What’s THIS For?, Revelations and Fire Dances) with Bob 1’s guitar sound on Duty Now for the Future.  Some people refer to it as the X tone and you can hear it on his work with the Deadbeats and Silver Chalice.

Lovers of weird science fiction noises and catchy, up-tempo songs will enjoy “We Need More Power” and “Isotope Soap.”  People into Danny Elfman/Tim Burton dark carnival weirdness will like “Pony Ride II”, “Rio Grande Hotel”, “The Paranoids Are Coming” and “Practicing Mice.”  If you want novelty funk with annoying, high-pitch “meow”s, you’ve got “Funky Monsters.”  If you want novelty ethnic music making fun of X’s very own ethnic background, you’ve got “Hungarian” (apparently, they have an IQ of 6!).  If you’re looking for creepy as all hell, demo-era Devo style, robotic music you’ve got “Mean Mr. Mommy Man.”  If you want poppy, new wave, you’ve got CD bonus track, “Rx Rock & Roll.”  And, if you want a xylophone filled rock song that trashes the audience that listens to his records, you’ve got “I Hate Punks.”

The songs on You Goddam Kids! are catchy, colorful, full of sound and generally upbeat, a rare trait among bands in the punk scene circa 1981.  The lyrics are Devo-esque but not nearly as cynical. You’ll hear oddball science fiction ideas, phony conspiracy theories, silly nonsense that some might describe as “dada-esque” and even some social commentary – sample lyric: “civilization is in pretty deep/we all want to win but the price is too steep..”

Too bad he only made one album.