Author Archives: Edwin Oslan

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June 27, 2013

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Public Image Ltd. – First Issue (reissue)

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I know I’m not going to win any friends with this review but you all like honesty, don’t you?  Light In The Attic has reissued the first Public Image Ltd. album and I’m a fan of their reissues; beautiful fetish objects loaded with liner notes, photos and other assorted memorabilia – if you haven’t picked up their reissue of the Monks’ Black Monk Time, stop reading this now and go get it!!!

The reissue for First Issue or Public Image – First Issue or whatever it’s called is no exception.  Light has released it in several packaging options including one with a bonus b-side to the “Public Image” single called “The Cowboy Song” and a 56 minute long BBC interview.  Also, considering that the original album was never officially released in the states and that the only CD issue is from 1986, the album was due for a retooling.

However, and I say this as a pretty big PiL fan (I have the dang logo tattooed on my inner fore arm), Metal Box/Second Edition is the only album by the group that I find satisfying all the way through.  They have some pretty awesome material but, unfortunately, upon revisiting the album, I don’t find it musically enjoyable from start to finish.

Look, I’m not one of those music philosopher guys who thinks the Pistols “separated the world of pop music into a then and now” or care about situationism or feel any need to discuss Malcolm McLaren’s involvement with the band.  They were awesome and looked cool and Never Mind the Bollocks… Here’s the Sex Pistols is one of the greatest rock ‘n’ roll albums ever made and that’s that.  After Lydon bid adieu to the stagnating Pistols – as in they entirely stopped writing new material – he hooked up with former Clash guitarist Keith Levene, old buddy and bassist John “Jah Wobble” Wardle and Canadian import drummer Jim Walker and started PiL.

But we’re not here to talk about music history; we’re here to talk about songs.  The first PiL has eight of them and of those eight, I really only enjoy five.  So let’s get to the nitty gritty.  “Religion 1” isn’t even a song.  It’s John Lydon reciting the lyrics to “Religion 2” without any musical accompaniment.  Sounds exciting?  Well, it’s not.  So there’s two minutes you can shave off the album.  Next we have “Attack.”  Well, for a guy who “hates rock ‘n’ roll”, it sure as hell sounds like a rock ‘n’ roll song or rather a poorly written Sex Pistols song.  Don’t believe me?  It’s mid-tempo punky rock with three distorted chords only it’s recorded really poorly and the lyrics go something like “Attack-attack-attack-attack-attack-attack” – real clever, huh?  And, lastly we have “Fodderstompf”, which predicts the bass driven, dance grooves on the next album but, when Lydon and co. repeat the same “be bland, be boring” joke over and over, the song becomes bland and boring.

Now let’s talk about the good stuff!  Opening track “Theme” might have seemed unusual at the time but now it’s a delightful nine minute drone of hypnotic, dub bass lines and “metallic” guitar scrapes with a similar tone that The Edge would use a couple years later.  The lyrics are just vague free association about not being a cliche and surviving and he repeats “I wish I could die” a lot.  “Religion 2” is fun if a bit repetitive since it only has two parts but man is that a cool angry bass line and the drums pound hard and John Lydon trashes the Catholic church.  No deep meaning there.  Next we have the energetic, mid-tempo punky rocker “Annalisa”, which according to the Pitchfork review is about an exorcism gone wrong.  They call the song “harrowing” but I call it bouncy and fun.  And of course last but, most certainly not least, are the pair of bright, shiny pop songs!  “Public Image” and “Low Life” are cut from the same principle cloth of basic but catchy, two-note bass lines and cheery, non-distorted jangly chords.  The former became Lydon’s initial calling card as he tells his former manager, “hey man! you don’t own me, man!”  The latter I guess also trashes McLaren or something.

I know, I’m supposed to drool all over myself because it’s back but I’ve been listening to this mofo for years even if it’s on a poorly mastered CD.  Oh, that’s right!  “The Cowboy Song” is like a cowboy song with galloping drums.  And what info can you glean from the 56 minute BBC interview?  I don’t know.  I haven’t listened to it. I’ll just wait until someone posts on youtube.  I’m more looking forward to the Devo reissues of Hardcore vol. 1 and 2, which will be hitting my doorstep soon.  Until then, see ya!

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June 22, 2013

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Maniac Cop (1988)

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This movie drove me crazy!  On one hand, I enjoyed it quite a bit as it’s a very well made horror thriller.  On the other hand, the inconsistencies had me pulling out what little hair I have on my  head and yelling, “what? how? why????”

Maniac Cop was directed by William Lustig (also known for Maniac, Maniac Cop 2 and Maniac Cop 3 among others) and he did a great job!  This is definitely a good movie with solid build-up, tense scenes and payoffs for those scenes.  There is plenty of gore for the gore fiends yet not so much as to not be able to receive that coveted “R” rating.  And of course how can you knock a movie that stars Bruce Campbell?

Given the movie’s title, it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out what it’s about.  Like any good slasher film, once the plot is established and we watch in delight as one victim after another is stalked and killed – primarily by strangulation, stabbing and cutting – we want to watch the good guys eventually figure out what the bad guy’s weaknesses are and stop him.  And that drove me crazy!  But I’ll get to that in a moment.

Three or four people get killed in the first 10 minutes; one victim is a woman outrunning muggers only to get killed by the maniac cop.  I forgot the others.  Then we’re introduced to Jack Forrest (Campbell) who is having an affair with fellow officer Theresa Mallory (Laurene Landon).  After Forrest’s wife follows her husband to a cheap motel and catches him in the act, she is found brutally murdered.  This inevitably makes Forrest a suspect for the recent killings and he and Officer Mallory go to work to figure out what’s up.

We eventually learn the history of the maniac cop; that he used to be a well liked but overzealous hard ass who went to prison for some unrevealed reason and was apparently killed.  And therein lies the rub!  What happened to him?  Is he a corpse that came back from the grave?  Is he a mad scientist’s experiment gone awry?  His makeup job is pretty good, with his face covered in scars and gashes.  But why is he impervious to bullets yet feels pain when impaled by a metal pipe?  The bullet proof vest theory is out of the question since one character shoots him in the head and he still lives.

And I don’t want to give away the ending but I’m going to have to.  He gets impaled by a spike while driving his car off a pier.  When the car is pulled up by a crane, he isn’t in it so he disappeared leaving the ending open to sequel, right?  Then, seconds later, his hand reaches out of the water.  You’re thinking, “so what?”  Let me explain why this drove me up the wall.  If he were to have just disappeared like Michael Meyers in Halloween this would be fine.  However the people were still on the scene, so ultimately what is the movie saying?  That maniac cop was too lazy to continue killing people once the credits rolled?  Do you get what I’m saying?  The characters have to believe that the bad guy is dead before the credits roll.  Otherwise the end is left completely open!  There’s no conclusion!

So, if this movie was just a cheaply made pile of crap, then I can understand this lazy plot hole.  The fact that the movie is well made and drew me in makes the plot holes that much more egregious!

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June 22, 2013

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Valley of the Zombies (1946)

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Nice poster, nice title but no valley and no zombies.  Not to mention no budget either.  I don’t have that much to say about this 56 minute quickie (as they used to call short movies back then) except that I wish the bad guy was played by Boris Karloff and not Robert Livingston.

The plot concerns Doctor Terry Evans (Livingston) killing people and using their blood to stay alive.  Most of the movie is just a police procedural with the film’s two main characters Fred (Earl Hogdins) and his wife/fiance Nurse Susan Drake (Lorna Gray) trying to prove their innocence after being in the scene of the crime.

If you must know the background, Dr. Maynard (Charles Trowbridge) wrongfully (or rightfully, I forgot which) diagnosed Evans as being insane and had him sent away to the looney bin, where he apparently died except that he didn’t and found some way of chemically sustaining his life.  Only he must constantly refill himself with blood and thus kills people to do so.

During most of the film the two protagonists do their own detective work Thin Man style since apparently the cops are too stupid to do it themselves.  They explore creepy houses and mausoleums while the guy leads the charge with total bravado and the girl, of course, acts frightened every time she turns her head.

But indeed, I was disappointed that the movie had no zombies.  I was hoping that Livingston would play a voodoo master.  He looks cool with his thick eyebrows, top hat and cape and he does hypnotize the leading female but, ultimately, there wasn’t enough going on even for a movie this short.  Now those RKO “sophisticated” low budget horror pictures like Cat People, The Body Snatcher and I Walked with a Zombie were good at “not showing” everything but this Republic picture ain’t like that.  It doesn’t show much and doesn’t have creepy atmosphere.  I still like some of the sets though.

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June 22, 2013

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Skinheads (1989)

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What great poster art!  I’m not kidding!  I don’t know who illustrated this, but it looks like the poster for a classic exploitation film, which Skinheads of course is!  Any of you SHARP, Trad or Trojan skins, who stumbled upon this post when doing a google search for “skinheads”, please know that I’m well aware of the original skinhead subculture from the 60s and 70s and that it was based upon music, not ideology, with their preferred style being reggae, ska and soul.

But, you know who didn’t do ANY research on skinheads?  Writer/director Greydon Clark, responsible for 1970s exploitation classics such as The Bad Bunch,  Black Shampoo and Satan’s Cheerleaders, is clearly NOT trying to make a social statement with this film, in spite the “serious” looking video box art, which got me interested in this movie in the first place!  This could easily have been a 60s/70s biker film, only that the nogoodniks in Skinheads actually believe in the swastikas they wear, rather than just using them as shocking regalia.  At least, as far as I know, none of the biker gangs from the 60s/70s believed in the Third Reich, but I could be mistaken.

I’m getting ahead of myself.  I don’t think Skinheads (a.k.a. Skinheads: The Second Coming of Hate) actually made it to theaters, which is a sad reflection of how home video killed the grind house and drive-in markets, nor has it been released on DVD.  I had to pull out the old VHS player to give this one a whirl.  And, BOY was it worth it!

The general story is that a group of neo-Nazi skinheads terrorize a small community in the San Francisco area.  After witnessing a fight, which leads to a shootout, the film’s protagonists escape into a secluded wooded area, and the skinheads go after them to try to kill them.  Never once do we see the cops because, I guess they were busy doing something else at the time.  Wait, no.  The skinheads cut a couple of phone lines, so nobody could call the cops and this is before everyone had a cell phone.

The group of skinheads consists of a crazy leader named Damon (Brian Bophy who I guess was in Star Trek: The Next Generation), an overweight, bumbling buffoon named Brains (the enormous Dennis Ott), a few lackeys and a skinhead girl named Liz (Lynna Hopwood), who is just as vicious as the guys.  They also inconspicuously drive around in a van with a swastika painted on the side.

The skinheads harass,fight and kill lots of people before the plot really takes off.  The main story involves the good guy Jeff (Jason Culp), the good girl Amy (Liz Segal of Howard the Duck and Double Trouble fame) and the old, all-American hero Mr. Huston (Chuck Connors from Airplane II and something else I forgot) defending their lives against the skinheads.

What’s there to say?  Skinheads is a whole heck of a lot of fun and really violent; a throat gets slashed, people get shot, someone gets cruficied and eaten by a bear, someone gets raped.  If you’re looking for a precursor to Romper Stomper or American History X, look elsewhere.  Skinheads is “straight from the headlines” exploitation and nothing more.  It’s so fun in fact, that my friend Josh wants to watch it practically every time we hang out.  We’ve watched it so many times, that we wore through the tape; which reminds me, I have to get myself another copy!

While most of the acting is pretty stock and intended just to get your through the plot, of which there are a few holes, as is par for the course, Chuck Connors and Brian Bophy own the show.  Spoiler alert: is it meant to be situational irony that the Connors character never finds out that his wife has been killed prior to the protagonists coming to his cabin?  Connors’ Heston-esque tough guy with a heart of gold is extremely hammy, yet it’s still touching hearing the WWII vet say, “there’s always another hate preaching bastard that needs to be stamped out!”.  Brian Bophy, on the other hand, makes Nick Cage look like he uses restraint.

The soundtrack was done by the Detroit based Elvis Hitler, which is interesting because Elvis Hitler is rockabilly band, yet the music they play in the movie sounds like Motorhead.  Oh, and if you’re an Easter egg hunter, check out the S.O.D. poster in the skinheads’ hideout.

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June 20, 2013

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Dust

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Dust

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Dust
Hard Attack

I’m assuming most of the intrigue for searching out Dust comes from Marc “Marky Ramone” Bell being in it years before he drummed for Wayne County and the Backstreet Boys, Richard Hell and the Voidoids and, of course, THE RAMONES!!!  The other two guys in Dust were guitarist/singer Richard Wise and bassist Kenny Aaronson, who also played a mean pedal steal guitar.  Wise later joined co-producer Kenny Kerner to produce Kiss and Aaronson became a session musician for a whole lot of people that I’m not going to mention.  Dust made two albums and that was it.

Dust – Kama Sutra – 1971

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If you found the double LP reissue set containing the self titled Dust LP and their second album Hard Attack packaged together and on the plastic there was a sticker that read “the roots of American metal”, that is a lie, my friend!  Do not think for a second that the group Dust is an undiscovered, underground gem in the same vein as Pentagram and have a bunch of heavy, Sabbath doom riffs and horrific themes because you’ll be disappointed beyond belief.  Sure the cover looks scary but it’s a facade.

However, if you’re a fan of early, bluesy hard rock that is obviously influenced by Zeppelin and Grand Funk Railroad, then you’ve got yourself a nice pair o’ records to play!  The first Dust album contains seven original numbers that alternate between good-time groovy, kind of funky hard rock, acoustic pedal steal country blues, epic-length “Dazed and Confuses” blues rock trudgery and high speed – nay, damn near hardcore speed – boogie rock.

The album immediately blows apart the “American metal” myth with opening track “Stone Woman”, which rides along on an upbeat funky groove, complete with slide guitar.  One thing you may ask yourself when you hear this fun opening tune is, “how is that the same guy who drummmed in the Ramones?”  His snare dominated patterns and non 4/4 rockin’ make it clear that the music of the Ramones was way below his skill level.  Side two opener, “From a Dry Camel” is the aforementioned heavy, blues rock trudgery.  It’s similar to “Dazed and Confused” except the lyrics are really weird and it later picks up into a galloping beat.

So yeah, I don’t need to describe every song.  The lyrics are about typical rock subject matter; love, lust, roamin’ ladies and sucking water from a dry camels hump.  The guitars are beautifully loud and have various tones and Wise sings in the same high pitch 70s style as Mark Farner.  I mean, what’s there to say; this is proletarian hard rock to bang your head and/or fist to, so get to it man!

Hard Attack – Kama Sutra – 1972

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Kind of looks like a Molly Hatchet album, doesn’t it?

Not only is the title for this album a stupid pun, it’s a complete lie!  Just like the sticker that says, “The Roots of American Metal”, this album is not only not metal, it’s not even hard rock!  The album begins with acoustic guitars and though the song “Pull Away/So Many Times” picks up the energy into an acoustic/electric gallop, it’s still not hard rock.  Furthermore the album proceeds to get lighter as we go along so that, by the time we’re on the third song, “Thusly Spoken”, we’re hearing an acoustic guitar/keyboard/piano/strings ballad!  “Hard Attack” my arse!

But, hey, here we go!  The fourth song, “Learning to Die” is a hella energetic hard rock song, who’s opening melody sounds like the Twilight Zone theme before proceeding into the main riff then a lighter, scarier part.  Then the eerie part goes away and we’re back into energetic rock ‘n’ roll zone!  Is this supposed to be social commentary?  “Every man learns to die/he has to leave his jewels behind”?  I dunno, whatever.  This song kind of reminds of Blue Oyster Cult with all them minor notes.

I already mentioned the group’s playing ability; guitarist Richard Wise and bassist Kenny Aaronson are perfectly fine on their instruments whether they’re playing electric/distorted or acoustic and, of course, Marc “Ramone” Bell is playing way more technically advanced stuff than he would in the Ramones.

What is with these existential lyrics, “somewhere somebody lives/somewhere somebody dies/but it was only time/somewhere somebody laughs/somewhere somebody cries/but it was only time”… what?  Good thing the song it comes from (“All in All”) has some neat start/stop boogie rockin’ with plenty of drum rolls and ultimately good time cheer and then, A COWBELL!!!  Did Marc Bell play a cowbell on the previous release?  Not that I recall… anyway…

Arrghh, now we’re back into acoustic zone with “I Been Thinkin’.”  In case you’re wonderin’ (ha!), I am reviewing the album in real time as the songs come.  I have listened to it a couple times before but I kind of enjoy this play by play approach.  Oh, hey… another hard rock song that starts off with some killer snare attack, some slides on the neck, then soloing, then three chord riff, then more soloing and it appears by the song’s set up, that “Ivory” will be an instrumental.  Some of these solos sound Toni Iommi-ish in parts.

Then one more acoustic, countryish ballad and one more, mean hard rocker with some honestly killer, angry riffs and more neato fills.  That’s the album for you.

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June 19, 2013

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Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (1974)

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It’s been a month or so since I’ve seen a Hammer horror film.  Unfortunately Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter wasn’t the movie to bring me back into Hammer’s world.  There’s nothing particularly wrong with the film other than it’s just kind of dull.  The poster promises more than it delivers.  Don’t get me wrong; what you see in the poster is pretty much what happens in the movie but there just isn’t enough of it.

Apparently Brian Clemens’ only directorial effort was supposed to be the start of a series of Captain Kronos films and a story was later adapted into a comic book.  Maybe Hammer should have gotten a more seasoned director like Roy Ward Baker or Terence Fisher.  The movie goes against the typical vampire mythos by having them kill during the day rather than at night.  Also they don’t suck blood and create other vampires by doing so; they suck out the youth from young men and women and turn them old and dead.  The effect actually makes them look like Steven Tyler.

I guess my main problem with this movie is I kept wondering, “Where is Captain Kronos during all of this?  How is this alleged vampire hunter letting so many innocent souls get sucked away?”  Kronos is played by German actor Horst Jansen and is assisted by the hunchbacked doctor Dr. Marcus (John Carsen).  They traverse the countryside supposedly hunting vampires by burying toads in the ground and seeing if they’re alive or dead and if alive, oh who cares?

Kronos frees a cute little lady named Carla (Caroline Munroe) from a wooden rack but who is she?  What did she do?  The only background we are given about her character is that she was being punished for dancing on Sunday.  That’s it.  That’s her entire background.  I really hope Brian Clemens didn’t think, “well, she’s a woman!  What else do you need to know about her?”  Actually he might have been thinking that otherwise why else would her only purpose in the movie be to shack up with Kronos twice.  And she acts as vampire bate, whoopdy do!  I was about to blame Caroline Munroe for being so emotionless and useless but then I realized she didn’t write the character; she was just doing what the director told her to do!

The movie is heavily bogged down with useless subplot; three asshole swordsmen harass people at a local pub and, in one scene, the doctor expresses his gratitude for having such a great friend.  The doctor asks Kronos and Carla, “am I that ugly?”  Carla responds, “you have a kind soul, that’s what’s important.”  Uh, gee thanks…

There’s some blood and way neat looking castle set pieces so I enjoyed *looking* at stuff but as far as entertainment goes, I kept thinking, “can we please pick up the pace, here?”  And, to be perfectly honest, the actor who played Kronos wasn’t exactly a virtuoso either; he basically just held the same smart-ass, “ha! I kill vampires and sleep with hot women” expression the whole time.  So  you know, watch at your own risk, I guess.

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June 18, 2013

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Night of the Ghouls (1959)

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Now this is what I’m talking about.  Why is Night of the Ghouls “undoubtedly” the worst film ever made?  In terms of technical skill it had no egregious continuity errors, non-matching night/day shots or wobbling tomb stones and the actors do reasonably good jobs within the context of the kind of movie they are in.  Night of the Ghouls has its problems and it’s certainly a bit more odd than a lot of the films from the era but Edward D. Wood, Jr. is still no worse than a lot of the other “bad movie” directors.

I guess the biggest “red herring” in Night of the Ghouls is the hilariously pointless detour to the shots of the teens hanging out and fighting; for a moment I thought it was going to turn into one of those “teenage monster” movies.  But nope, Wood never revisits the juvenile delinquency theme.  Instead the film turns into an enjoyable ghost movie involving a medium, a goofy cop, a cute as hell assistant, some police procedure, some shoot ’em up action, a neat twist ending and Tor Johnson wearing effectively grotesque horror make up.

Oh, one other thing; Criswel.  What’s cool is that while Criswel introduces the story by breaking the fourth wall from his coffin and becomes the narrator and later plays a role within the narrative, as if he’s telling you the story in flashback.  The story starts when a hysterical (both definitions of the word) old couple comes into a police station to report the siting of a ghost; this part gets confusing because apparently they saw the White Ghost (Valda Hansen) who didn’t exist in the main body of the story so clearly this is in flashback.  Also a teenage couple gets killed by the Black Ghost (Jeannie Stevens), who roams the graveyard at night.  Police Lieutenant Daniel Bradford (Duke Moore) goes to investigate and ends up at, what I guess is the same building that functioned as the laboratory in Wood’s previous film Bride of the Monster.

Thus Night of the Ghouls is sort of a sequel or continuation.  The building is now a creepy house where Dr. Acula (Kene Duncan) is a medium who is assisted by “The White Ghost” who I never heard addressed by any other name.  They hold a creepy seance where they have skeletons sitting in chairs and things float in the air and a corpse that speaks to the living; it’s actually pretty cool.  Most of the rest involves searching through corridors and investigating weird stuff.

But I’ll tell you this and it’s very important: if you watch this movie thinking, “haha, oh Ed Wood, haha” then you can easily write it off as a joke but if you suspend your disbelief and actively watch it like you would anything else, it’s got some neat twists which I’m not going to spoil!  Wood pulls off a creepy trick during one of the investigative sequences where the detective looks into a closet and sees a manikin, looks away then looks back and the thing is smiling at him!  It’s actually pulled off really well!

Do you want me to find problems with Night of the Ghouls?  Okay, fine.  Aside from the aforementioned pointless juvenile delinquent sequence, there’s an extremely annoying cop named Kelton (Paul Marco) who I guess is supposed to be funny when he acts like a buffoon the entire time.  Also that hysterical old couple are obviously not “trained” actors.  But who cares?  That’s all nitpicking nonsense!  Night of the Ghouls is pretty good so don’t be a hater and check it out.

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June 17, 2013

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Pink Fairies

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Pink Fairies

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special introductory paragraph
Never Never Land
Mandies and Mescaline Round at Uncle Harry’s
What a Bunch of Sweeties
Kings of Oblivion
Live at the Roundhouse 1975
Previously Unreleased EP
Kill ’em and Eat ’em
Pleasure Island
No Picture

The Pink Fairies were an offshoot of the Deviants and emerged from the same bohemian/anarchist Ladbroke Grove scene from which Hawkwind, the Edgar Broughton Band and a whole bunch of other “anti-establishment” rock bands came from.  I used ironic quotes because, for all the press the Pink Fairies received for being anarchists, they sure as hell didn’t sing about this topic or even use social satire like the Deviants did.  I’m aware they set up free gigs and were considered a band of the people but, when your most popular song is about a certain male organ, it’s hard to really think of them sticking it to the man. But I like ’em though and isn’t that what counts?

Never Never Land – Polydor – 1971

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The original lineup for the Fairies consisted of former Deviants members Paul Rudolph (guitar/vocals), Duncan Sanderson (bass) and Russell Hunter (drums) along with former Pretty Things drummer John “Twink” Alder as a second drummer, I guess.  I never quite understood that.  His presence isn’t really felt and it doesn’t really seem to matter but, he’s there and that’s that.

So the biggest thing that got me interested in the Pink Fairies is their direct connection to Hawkwind and Motorhead.  But they certainly sound nothing like the former and only vaguely like the latter.  For better or worse, they’re just a solid rock band.  Or if you like parallels, they’re the MC5 to Hawkwind’s Stooges.  If the Stooges were the innovative, weird ones, then the MC5 just played really good rock ‘n’ roll.  But, since when was making solid rock music a crime?

And the first Pink Fairies album is loaded with solid rock tunes.  The primary styles seem to alternate between crunchy Slade and Mott the Hoople style hard rock and Floyd-style laziness.  Rudolph shows off his various tricks; dirty, distorted guitar riffs, normal, non-distorted riffs, phased psychedelic solos and pretty acoustic melodies.  What among those do you think is my favorite approach?  The ace rockers are “Do It”, “Say You Love Me”, “Teenage Rebel” and “The — HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!!!  “The Snake” isn’t on the album?!  What, arrgggglll!!!!

Incidentally, these are the lyrics to “The Snake”, the greatest Pink Fairies song and one of the greatest rock tunes ever, a locomotive of pre-punk, aggressive riffing and fast drumming!  It was later covered by Tank!!!

I’m gonna tell you baby, don’t try to hide, don’t try to hide
That snake just wants to come inside
Here comes the snaaaaaaake!!

Viva la revolution!!!

I like this album; it’s got some great songs on it.  “Teenage Rebel” is a real headbanging song about being an outcast baby!  A rebel!  You don’t want to run into this guy in the streets!  He’ll rough you up with this angry long hair and motorcycle jacket!

Although I don’t know why this tough, angry rock band would want to put “War Girl” and “Never Never Land” back to back considering how these songs are so laid back.  That’s no way to keep the speed snorting long hairs from falling asleep, is it?  Both are good songs but they just seem to slow down the momentum.  Also “Never Never Land” sounds more like a Deviants than a Pink Fairies song.

I should mention somewhere that “Track One, Side Two” is accompanied by piano, “War Girl” has some bongos on it and “Uncle Harry’s Last Freak Out” crams a bunch of riffs and solos together for 11 straight minutes and sounds as though someone forgot to fade song earlier.

What a Bunch of Sweeties – Polydor – 1972

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Well Twink is gone.

The album starts with a joke about the Pink Fairies playing on URANUS!!! Hahahahahha!!!

Of the the group’s three studio albums, What a Bunch of Sweeties is my least favorite.  It still has some decent material but some of these songs are either too long, not that great or just consist of goofing around.  For instance opening track “Right On, Fight On” is a solid piece of early 70s fist pumping, major chord rock but does it need to be eight minutes long?  Then the very next song “Portobello Shuffle”, although not a bad song, is just 12 bar boogie rock, no different from ZZ Top or AC/DC’s cover of “School Days.”  Listen to all three back to back and tell me differently!

Okay, now “Marilyn” is what I’m talkin’ ’bout!  That’s the kind of song I want to hear; a dirty, mean, hard rockin’ tune with angry, hoarse singing and crunchy guitar riffs!

Oh god, the next song is a novelty country tune called “The Pigs of Uranus”!!!  We’re halfway through the album!!!  Will all you Ladbroke Grove loving anarchists please tell me what you see in this band?!

We’re onto side two.  Now, I know this is a very condescending thing to say but the second best piece of music on this entire album is lifted from the surf guitar classic “Walk Don’t Run.”  The actual song it’s used in is also called “Walk Don’t Run” and is a nine minute epic that has other parts that are okay.  But, would this song be nearly as good without the classic riff played through a dirty fuzz tone?  I don’t think so!  That leaves us with three more songs…

I’m getting tired of this; why are so many songs on this album so long?  “I Went Up, I Went Down” is another eight minute Floyd style song with psychedelic effects on the guitar.  “X-Ray” is okay, I guess… but, what do I see here?  It’s “I Saw Her Standing There”!!!  So there you go, they redeemed an otherwise not so great album with a Beatles cover!

I’ve read tons about these guys being a “proto-punk” band and being all revolutionary and playing free gigs and stuff but I don’t get it.  Are you sure we’re listening to the same band?  I like dumb, early 70s hard rock!  But why is this group placed on a pedestal as something apart from that?  Actually I can guess… but is it right to have a “righteous” reputation just because you know a bunch of cool people?

Kings of Oblivion – Polydor – 1973

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The Larry Wallis album!  Paul Rudolph left, and the band recorded one okayish single with guitarist Mick Wayne(both sides of it are included as bonus tracks on the CD reissue), but he was gone soon after, and the band recruited former UFO guitarist Larry Wallis.  Larry Wallis is one of those underrated, “journeyman” musicians, kinda like Phil Manzanera (not his style, just his reputation), who have their fingerprints on a handful of really freakin’ great, though thoroughly underrated albums in the pantheon of rock.  And whaaat an album!  No acoustic songs, no novelty nonsense, just seven jammin’ hard rock songs, which bounce back and forth from Alice Cooper-style garagey hard rock, proto-punk, longer, jammier tunes and even a couple of sleazy boogie-rock numbers.

The album starts with “City Kids”, the second best Pink Fairies song behind “The Snake.”  It’s so good, in fact, that Wallis would take it with him when he joined Lemmy in Motorhead, and Lemmy liked it so much that, even after Wallis abruptly left Motorhead, they recorded it as the b-side to their “Motorhead” single.  Just a bunch of no good street kids hangin’ ’round; probably cut their long hair and became punks a couple years later.  The only other fast song on Kings of Oblivion is the instrumental “Raceway”, which, according to the liner notes, became an instrumental by accident.

“When’s the Fun Begin?” and “Chromium Plating” are both enjoyable songs with cool, angry riffs and lots of soloing; the latter has a bunch of wicked hammer on solos and endless drum rolls that are super fun to air drum to.  And “I Wish I Was a Girl” might seem a bit long at 10 minutes; but, if I have to hear a bunch of guitar solos, it might as well be from a pro like Wallis.  Is he admitting to being a sissy in the song? “As a streetfighter I don’t make it/ when the trouble starts, I can’t take it/ the site of blood don’t turn me on/when the trouble starts, I’m long gone.”  “Chambermaid” and “Street Urchin” are about a couple of loose women that you wish you knew.

Now what do you think of your revolutionaries?  I’m not kidding though; I’ve struggled to figure out why this group is placed on a counter culture pedestal when their music isn’t all that extraordinary and their lyrics don’t go beyond standard rock topics…

In a couple years Wallis would join Lemmy in an early incarnation of Motorhead and take some of his best songs with him!

Live at the Roundhouse 1975 – Big Beat – 1982

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This is a live album taken from a Pink Fairies reunion gig that took place on July 13, 1975 at the Roundhouse.  The lineup for the gig is Paul Rudolph, Larry Wallis, Duncan Sanderson, Russell Hunter and Twink.  The album only contains five numbers.  Apparently they performed more but the sound wasn’t good enough on the rest of them.

The only two songs featured on this collection that come from the studio catalog are “City Kids” and “Uncle Harry’s Last Freakout.”  The other three are covers of “Lucille”, “Waiting for the Man” and “Going Down.”  Unsurprisingly the recording is bootleg quality and monophonic sounding but all the instruments are audible enough.

As far as the performances go, “City Kids”, while still great, seems a little sluggish.  “Waiting for the Man” is played like a straightforward rock song and needlessly extended to 10 minutes by guitar solos.  “Lucille” and “Going Down” are performed pretty close to their original 12 bar rock ‘n’ roll and blues rock originals, if a bit harder and “Uncle Harry’s Last Freakout” is 12 minutes long and filled with more needless guitar solos.  The group seems in good spirits and having fun but that live excitement somehow doesn’t transcend the recorded divide.  Or I just find the endless jamming kind of boring.

It’s probably obvious that I’m not super excited about listening to or talking about this release.  There’s not much else to say about it.

Previously Unreleased EP – Big Beat – 1984

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Featuring Larry Wallis and Duncan Sanderson with new drummer George Butler, Previously Unreleased wasn’t initially intended to be a Pink Fairies release.  To me it makes no difference since the band playing on this record is 2/3 of the one that played on Kings of Oblivion but I guess Larry Wallis didn’t feel like a Pink Fairy, ya know?

Previously Unreleased contains six brand new tunes and, just like the material that Wallis presented to the original Motorhead, these are basic rock tunes; remember the second Slaughter and the Dogs album Bite Back?  They’re like that.  These are hard rock tunes that lean on pub, glam and even a little bit of punk.

“Can’t Find the Lady” especially fits this punk/pub hybrid with 12 bar rockin’ and rollin’.  And that’s about it!  I honestly can’t think of anything else to say about these songs.  They’re not remarkably distinct but they’re not terrible either.  Wallis plays a mean guitar; he solos but doesn’t solo too much and the songs aren’t too long.
Don’t fret! Reviews for the rest of the catalog coming soon!

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June 16, 2013

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The Girl Who Returned (1969)

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Do not take the score of 3 out of 4 as some sort of recommendation.  If you are not up to watching a slow, grainy 16mm film which was made for $2000, The Girl Who Returned  can seem interminable in spite of its 62 minute running time.  This is Lloyd Kaufman’s debut feature film but if you were expecting a precursor to Troma, you’re out of luck.  Actually I take that back; even in a nudity free, oddball student film, Kaufman still managed to squeeze in some sex.

But let’s start from the beginning.  I became a huge Troma fan around 1999 when I was an obnoxious teenager and, as I was engorging the standards like The Toxic Avenger and Tromeo and Juliet – and basically anything that was gory, horrific and exploitative – I never in my life imagined I’d get to see this film.  I thought it would be a forgotten relic, only mentioned as a learning experience in Lloyd Kaufman’s autobiography.  So thank you Youtube for existing.  It is fascinating to see this time capsule film; a grainy window into college life circa 1968.  That’s not what the film is about mind you, but, in some ways it can seem like a glorified home movie.  I know that’s an insulting statement so let me get to the review before I dig myself a bigger hole.

The Girl Who Returned begins with a group of college girls doing calisthenics on a football field while a male announcer informs the watcher that the Olympic games between Luxemburg and Mongolia will soon commence.  This is apparently code for the females and the males.  The two conflicting states hold Olympic games every four years to determine who is better.  The rest of the narration is taken up by a female and the actual plot concerns Lucy (Gretchen Herman) being trained by her coach, Geneva (Beverly Galley) to become the best runner or something.  Not very much happens until Lucy breaks free and goes to “Mongolia” in hopes of restoring a “golden age” between the two states.  When she meets some “Mongolians”, they mock her.  That is until she encounters a friendly one – a nice guy – and the two walk around, hold hands and eventually sleep together.  Don’t get any ideas!  The sex is presented tastefully.

Back in Luxemburg the Olympic games take place and well, I guess I shouldn’t spoil the whole film.  But basically there is some sort of vague message being sent about how the supposed “golden age” is as much of a chance occurrence as a one time pickup.  The point is that Kaufman pulls together some neat tricks in order to make you feel like you’re watching a narrative and not just a goofy collection of shots.  Indeed some scenes seem painfully long and if there wasn’t a narrator to string the plot together, it would make no sense.  Well, I don’t know…. maybe I should test that theory and watch it without the narrator.

The acting is about what you’d expect from a silent student film.  The actions are exaggerated but it’s not to the point of annoyance.  There also seem to be some lesbian overtones between Lucy and Geneva or maybe my perverted mind imagined that.  I dunno.  It’s a neat idea if not the most actively entertaining film in world.

Also, in true Tromatic sense, Kaufman’s artistic aspirations were a bit too ambitious; he attempted to make the film equivalent of John Cage’s use of silence by putting black screens between various shots which resulted in the film’s watchers complaining that the projector was malfunctioning.

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June 15, 2013

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Panic in Year Zero (1962)

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I was debating between 3 and 4 but, you know me; even the slightest hint of sentimentality or people being decent to each other and down goes the grade.  I’m being slightly facetious here.  I like nice people who don’t hurt others; I just don’t like when films tell me to be a good person.

With that said Panic in Year Zero is a very entertaining “self preservationist”, end of the world movie.  The obvious influence is Roger Corman’s 1956 film The Day the World Ended but clearly the post-apocalyptic theme is pretty common in science fiction these days.Back then, however, with atomic fear right around the corner, the film was also very topical.

Also, it should be known, that I love cold war cinema a lot!  A lot lot!  I love watching Commies invade the U.S. and watch people fighting back.  And I know, it’s not politically correct to say this but I love anti-Commie propaganda.  I don’t believe it, mind you.  I just enjoy watching Jack Webb telling you how to spot a Commie.  But I especially love atomic bomb mushroom clouds that result in gross mutations.

Panic in the Year Zero is a very entertaining movie from actor turned director Ray Milland.  Ray Milland is great!  He’s hammy as all hell and old fashioned but so much fun!  How fun you ask?  Look at his IMDB photo!
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The story begins when a fishing trip is cut short by several hydrogen bomb blasts that set L.A. ablaze and set the L.A. area’s population into panic.  Thinking on his feet Harry Baldwind (Millan) leads his family, consisting of Rick (Frankie Avalon) the son, Ann (Jean Hagen) the wife and Karen (Mary Mitchell) the daughter, to a cave hideout in some far away town, where they fend for their lives.

On their way they pick up supplies and fight with people. Among those who they fight are various local folks who are also fending for themselves and a trio of juvenile delinquents turned homicidal maniacs and rapists.  Basically the film’s premise exists on the fact that in situations such as these, we are forced to fend for ourselves and not care for others.  The film’s entire moral crux is displayed in this exchange, following Rick’s almost nailing one of the delinquents, Carl (Richard Bakalyan, who plays in The Delinquents if you can believe that!) and then says, “but Dad, I could have blown his head off!”  In response Harry says, “you’re not supposed to like killing people!  You’re just supposed to do it for self defense!”  Right on, pops!

Indeed the majority of the of the good stuff is given to Milland and Avalon.  Unfortunately the female characters are entirely one-dimensional.  Ann, the wife/mom is constantly trying to derail their progress under the notion that you’re supposed to be kind to people always.  This got REALLY frustrating!  The reason Avalon missed one of the thugs with his shotgun blast is because his mom pushed his gun away!  I was ready to reach into the screen and strangle her!  What are you thinking, lady?  Are you TRYING to get your family killed?  The daughter on the other hand just functioned as scenery; her only purpose was to be raped by one of the thugs only to be avenged later.  I suppose that would count as a spoiler.

Fortunately the wimpy female is balanced by a strong female character who can shoot guns, whew!  Milland might almost have been branded a sexist!  Her name is Marilyn and she’s played by Joan Freeman if you must know.  And that about covers it.