Jew to Jew: Edwin the Drunk Interviews Ben the Pious

ed_vs_ben

Note: This interview with Ben Shapiro actually took place and not a single word was edited out.

Edwin the Drunk: Hi Ben, welcome to Jew to Jew on SavageHippie TV, how’s it goin’, bud?

Ben the Pious: Oh, it’s great.  Pleasure to be here–

ETD: SORRY if I’m a bit wasted and tweaky, just popped an Aderall.  Ever done Aderall, Ben?

BTP: Heh, no, but I have been known to get a bit RANDY on Manishewitz on a Shabbos evening from time to time, heh heh.

(awkward silence)

ETD: So, how about them facts not caring about your feelings, eh?

BTP: Oh, yeah, I’m 100% fact, 0% feeling.  Fact ALL THE AWAY!  Not PC AT ALL!  ALL FACT, NO FEELING!

ETD: Well, that’s good know!  Word on the street is that you’re not too hip on Donald Trump.  Why’s that?

BTP: Man isn’t conservative, Ed.  He wants to take an EVEN stance on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict.  CRAZY, I TELL YOU!

ETD: Uhhh…

BTP: CRAZY!  You know what he MEANS by “EVEN”, don’t you?

ETD: Buhh….

BTP: GOD, err, Hashem, err Moses…

ETD: Don’t take the lord’s name in veii–

BTP: IT MEANS GAS THE KIKES, ED!!!  GOD, AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO SEES THAT??!!

ETD: Mmm, that’s not exactly the impression I got from that… say, so we’re the same age, both part of the hooknose usury cabal…

BTP: Ed, that’s not funny.

ETD: Well, now you got me thinking, are you a Jew by blood or religion?  You said that being Jewish isn’t about remembering the Holocaust. Then what is it?

BTP: I’m religious, Ed.  DON’T YOU SEE MY YARMULKE?!  ON MY HEAD?!  (points to head) I’M AN ORTHODOX JEW, AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT!!!

ETD: Oh, my bad… yeah, my folks came here from the Soviet Union back in ’74.  We’re not too religious though, but I’ve got that Ashkenazi blood–

BTP: ORTHODOX JEW!!! YARMULKE!!!

ETD: Right, got it… so like, Pam Geller supports Trump now–

BPT: I love that fine, 60 year old vixen, but she DOES NOT GET IT!!! “EVEN HANDED POLICY”?!

ETD: Don’t you think it’s good that Donald Trump doesn’t want to let 10,000 Syrians, or any Muslims into the country for that matter?  Last time I checked Muslims hate Jews and you would think–

BTP: Yahweh, Ed, don’t you know who Trump’s followers are?!

ETD: Well, I am and Pam Geller is–

BTP: Ugh, did you see the tweets that I got?!  LOOK AT THE F’N TWEETS I GOT, ED!!!

ETD: Oh yeah, that’s not very kind.  Well, ya know, trolls–

BTP: TROLLS?! MAYBE IF MILO WASN’T ALWAYS TAKING IT UP THE ASS, HE’D SEE THAT WE HAVE THE FUCKING FOURTH REICH ON OUR DOORSTEP!!!

ETD: I dunno, Ben.  I think you’re being a little dramatic–

BTP: Alternative Right are a bunch of neo-Nazi thugs, and I can’t believe that you don’t see how they’re trying to put me in an oven!

ETD: Uh, last time I checked Jared Taylor, Andy Nowicki and John Derbyshire don’t have too much of a problem with us yids.  Ya know, there was a time when I got Richard Spencer and Robert Spencer mixed up!  Can you believe that?  One guy looks like an ogre, and the other guy looks Carrey Grr–

BTP: YEAH!  That’s what they WANT you to think!  Have you talked to any of those creeps?!

ETD: Yeah, they’re not too bad, although Taki Theoshapalappadingdong or whatever the fuck his name is isn’t too fond of us.  I mean, I can’t say I blame him–

BTP: WHAT?!  What are you, a self hating Jew or something?!

ETD: Oh, no, but you gotta at least admit that some of “the tribe” were involved in the Frankfurt School, which is basically the reason we’re in this PC mess… I mean, facts don’t care about your feel–

BTP: It has NOTHING to do with being Jewish–

ETD: Well, I mean, the Mafia had nothing to do with being Sicilian, but they were still all–

BTP: Look, Ed, I didn’t come here to hear this antisemitic garbage.  If you wanna ask me a real question, then ask me a real fuschluggina question, or I’m gonna plotz!

ETD: All right, all right, what do you think of the new Schindler’s List Nintendo game?

BTP: What?!

ETD: Yeah, it’s kinda like how they adapted Platoon to Nintendo, ya know, action adventure shoot ’em up… it’s kinda like Mario Bros., but instead of Princess Toadstool, you save a girl in a red dress in every level.  Capcom put it out–

BTP: That’s f’n sick, man.  I’m gonna contact every news program I know and tell them about this tasteless and disgusting–

ETD: All right, you got me, I was kidding.

BTP: Man, Ed, you had me going for a minute.  You’re good, man.

ETD: Heh, so, what do you think of the Rugrats Hanukkah special?

BTP: Never heard of it; I used to watch TV, but then I realized it was a bunch of liberal propaganda.

ETD: Oh yeah, I read your book about that.  It was pretty good, except for all those faggy shows you talk about, except for Three’s Company.  John Ritter is THE MAN!!!

BTP: Ed, are you going to ask me a real question because I have Shabbos dinner in a couple hours, and I gotta get ready for that.

ETD:  So, what do you think about what David Cole said about you in his book?

BTP: DAVID COLE??!! THAT HOLOCAUST DENYING PIECE OF SLIME??!!  YEAH, HE CHANGED HIS NAME TO STEIN!!! ANYBODY WHO DENIES THE HOLOCAUST LIKE HIM DOESN’T DESERVE THE NAME STEIN!!!

ETD: Uh, well, he wasn’t really denying the Holocaust, I mean, he says it happened.  He just wanted to revise a few of the well-accepted elements of it, I mean, he says there were only four gas chambers instead of six–

BTP: OH, FOR THE LOVE YAHWEH, DON’T TELL ME YOU ACTUALLY LIKE THAT SELF-HATING, HOLOCAUST DENYING PIECE OF GARBAGE!!!

ETD: Uh, yeah, I think he’s pretty cool, I mean, I did find it funny when Pam Geller called him an asshat, something I wouldn’t expect a woman pushing 60 to say–

BTP: WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING THAT HOLOCAUST DENYING SLIME??!!

ETD: Uh, actually, I think he’s an Israel supporter, so–

BTP: LOOK, ED, DO YOU WANT ME TO WALK OFF THIS SHOW?!  I APPRECIATE THE BAGEL AND LOX BACKSTAGE, BUT I DID NOT COME HERE TO DISCUSS SELF HATING HOLOCAUST DENIERS.  I’M GLAD THAT RED HEAD RATTED ON HIM.  ALL HOLOCAUST DENYING SLIME SHOULD BE CENSORED AND OSTRACIZED.  I MEAN, YOU SAY YOU’RE JEWISH.  HOW COULD YOU SUPPORT SUCH SLIME?

ETD: Well, I mean, people say the Civil War was more about economics than slavery, and can you tell me how many people were killed in the Armenian genocide–

BTP: SIX MILLION JEWS, ED!!! SIX MILLION JEWS!!!

ETD: Well, other people were killed during the Holocaust, like gays and Gypsies-

BTP: SIX MILLION JEWS, ED!!!

ETD: Oh, right, my bad.

BTP: ISRAEL ISRAEL ISRAEL!!!

ETD: Uh, yeah, good place!  I went there on Birthright five years ago, rode a camel, hung out in Bedouin tent – but man, the girls were such skanks!  All going and cheating on their boyfriends.  I tell you, if my girlfriend said she was going on a trip overseas and didn’t have me come with her–

BTP: ISRAEL ISRAEL ISRAEL!!!

ETD: Uh, yeah, I like that place.  Ya know, someone at the Taki’s site got all Jew hatin’ on me and told me to get my ass packing out of the U.S. and go to Israel–

BTP: SEE?! A BUNCH OF F’N NEO-NAZIS!!!  I keep trying to tell Nero when he’s not getting plowed up the ass that first they came for–

ETD: Eh, I didn’t take it that personally.  I mean, at least he wasn’t telling me the place belongs to the Palestinians.  There are definitely worse places to be deported to.  I mean, they hold this awesome, annual metal festival, and Ross the Boss Friedman from the Dictators and Manowar always plays it.  Which one of Ross’ bands do you like more; Dictators or Manowar?

BTP: Heh, I dunno, Ed, I’m more of a Beatles/Rolling Stones kinda guy, ya know?  But, mainly I just listen Schlock Rock with my kids, if you know what I mean…

ETD: Er, nooope…

BTP: Were you Bar Mitzvahed, Ed?

ETD: Uh, yeah, it was pretty cool!  I was stoned outta my mind when I read the Torah, kinda like that kid in A Serious Man

BTP: Ugh, I HATE the Coen brothers.  Couple of self hating Jews!  They can’t even spell COHEN the right way.  Hey Joel and Ethan, it’s C-O-H-E-N… I swear to Yahweh… now, SPIELBERG is a director I can get behind!

ETD: Eh, I guess Jaws and Close Encounters were all right…

BTP: Schindler’s List is the GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE.  It is the most honest and truthful portrayal of the Holocaust ever put to film.  I thought I was watching a documentary.

ETD: Uh, right… I thought the scene in Amistad where slaves revolt on the ship and kill all the people was pretty cool… so, what’s your favorite Mel Brooks film–

BTP: I don’t watch films by self-hating Jews.  THE INQUISITION IS NOTHING TO LAUGH AT!!! HOW DARE HE!!!  He might as well call himself Mel Gibson.

ETD: So, did you really think it was necessary to resign from Breitbart?

BTP: Ugghhh, Ed, I don’t want to go into it.  If you saw the video, I think it’s pretty darn clear that Michelle Fields was sexually assaulted and gang raped, and all Breitbart did was stand by and laugh at her.

ETD: Uh, didn’t the guy just nudge her aside because she was in his way?  I do that all the time when I go to a bar and it’s really crowd–

BTP: THEN YOU’RE A SEXUAL ASSAULT APOLOGIST!!!  Look, Ed, I gotta wrap this up.

ETD: Do you own a gun, Ben?

BTP: Yeah, certainly!  Pro 2nd amendment, baby!

ETD: Wanna go shooting some time?

BTP: Sure, but not on Shabbos!

ETD & BTP both break down laughing.

ETD: All right, cheers, brother.

BTP: Thanks, Ed!

 

 

How I Became a Trump-Supporting, Alt-Right, Punk Rock Jew

leather_jacket_t_shirtLast weekend, a black woman called me a “honky.”  No, let me clarify; she didn’t directly call ME a honky; she asked if, when I get up to do drunken karaoke at Detroit’s Majestic Theater lounge area (alternately referred to as the Garden Bowl), I was going to sing “some honky music.”  So, naturally I sang “Straight Outta Compton” and said the word “nigga” a bunch of times in front of black people because I’m edgy.

Just kidding, I sang “I Saw Her Standing There” by the Beatles and Ms. “Are You Going to Sing a Honky Song” joined me in a duet after I gave her $5 to get me a whiskey shot mixed with diet coke; I let her handle the part at the end of every line where John Lennon goes “miiiiine.”  This was prior to going next door to see Peter and the Test Tube Babies, a British skinhead punk band from the early 80s.  I invited my newly made black female friend to join me towards the end when they stopped taking money at the door.  I also reminded her how she called this “honky music.”  She giggled and said, “I betcha refer to us as niggers and think we listen to ‘nigger music.'”  Somewhat surprised, I said “Uh, no, I don’t go around referring to black people or anyone as ‘niggers.'” (which is true, although I did call a Muslim “Muzzie” once).  I also didn’t tell her that I’m a Jew – NOT because I’m ashamed to admit that I AM one, since I do that ALL THE TIME – but because I didn’t want to play the whole, “it’s okay to insult the massa ‘white people’, but did you know that I fit into a so called minority group that was ALSO oppressed by ‘white people’?”  I’ll leave that up to Brian, the self-hating, liberal, punk rock Jew.

Nope, I was going to at least make her acknowledge that, in spite what the media tells you, we “honkies” aren’t your enemy and that it’s no more okay to call me a honky, than it would be for me to call you a nigger.

The irony of all this is that, at the same show, my former buddy Nick, the “half gay” “SHARP Skinhead” (If you didn’t feel like clicking on the link, SHARP is an acronym for “skinheads against racial prejudice.”) made it clear that, though he could shoot the shit about the merchandise at the table, we could in NO WAY be associated as friends because I’m officially racist™ and sexist™.

I don’t even USE terms like “racist”, “sexist”, “misogynistic”, “homophobic” or “anti-semitic” anymore, aside from when I’m trying to talk to a liberal in his/her/its language; I’ve never used “Islamophobic”, since it’s a completely fabricated word, which implies that saying negative things about the religion of Allah, no matter how racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic or anti-semitic it may be, is a no-no.  But, in Nick’s eyes, I might as well be Nazi Chuck.  That’s right; in the binary world of the SJW – and that’s what you are, Nick, you fag wannabe – my pointing out incontrovertible truths about how blacks commit more violent crimes than any other group, how black on white crime outnumbers white on black crime, how the #blacklivesmatter movement is made up of nothing but leftist agitators who don’t actually care about black lives killed in drive by shootings, how Islam is a violent death cult or how women are not oppressed in Western societies puts me in the same exact class as a card carrying Nazi Skinhead.

So, then, the question is, what brought me to the unapologetic, Caucasian defending, multiculturalism bashing world of the Alternative Right?  In the words of the sound sample at the beginning of the first track on the White Zombie album Astro-Creep 2000, perhaps we’d better start from the beginning…

Growing up in an upper middle class neighborhood is fine and easy, but being bullied for being a nerdy, booger eating, comic book and action figure loving fatso gave me the thickest skin ever.  You couldn’t insult me to save you life; call me a kike, hebe or part of the hooknose cabal, tell me how all Jews should be shoved in an oven or how Jews all run the media and want to enslave the rest of the humanity with debt and you couldn’t get a reaction out of me other than a smirk or a shrug.  In fact the only thing that ever really got a rise out of me was when people made fun of my male pattern baldness; that was until a cute girl fucked me and told me that, for the most part, going bald doesn’t matter.

At 14 I had discovered my “identity” when I heard the Misfits and became a punk rocker or punk rock fan for life (actually I’m more of a music geek who’s into all types of weird shit, but let’s just go with “punk rocker” for the sake of this article).  In addition to delving into the “real” punk bands, such as the Ramones, Sex Pistols, Saints, Stranglers, Stooges, New York Dolls, Dead Kennedys, Dead Boys and Black Flag (oh, I could name thousands of others, but I think you get the point), I was also into the most obnoxious, gross, tasteless and offensive bands I could find.  I loved the bejeezus out of the Meatmen, Gwar, the MentorsGG Allin, the Dwarves and of course Anal Cunt, the only band who, to this day, has never said, “it’s all a joke”, in spite having side splitting song titles such as “I Sent Concentration Camp Footage to America’s Funniest Home Videos”, “Woman: Nature’s Punching Bag” and “The Word Homophobic Is Gay.”

I also didn’t really have a problem with the Black Flag song “White Minority”, which they want to claim is “ironic” (sure…), Minor Threat’s “Guilty of Being White”, the anti-welfare screed “Public Assistance” by Agnostic Front (actually the vocals kinda suck on that song), the pro-Republican ra-ra chant of “California Pipeline” by Murphy’s Law, the blatantly nationalistic “U.S.A. for U.S.A.” by Carnivore, the similarly nationalistic “Bomb the Russians” by Fear or the Type O Negative songs “Der Untermensch”  and “Kill All the White People”, which IS ironic and funny!

As you can imagine, I enjoyed pissing people off.  HOWEVER, there was one, big, stupid, hypocritical catch to this.  Bands can write all the stupid, hateful lyrics they want as long as they’re not REALLY “racist”, “sexist” or “homophobic.”  Of course, in the world of punk rock, the “real” racists were big, linebacker built Nazi Skinheads, and with Detroit’s  racial makeup, you could reasonably expect an equally fierce reaction to the slummy conditions of majority black neighborhoods and increasing black crime; Detroit Nazi Skinhead are NOT posers that are out to shock their friends and families.  Several members of the Detroit based band Angry Aryans either served or are serving prison sentences.  I saw a whole bunch of them doing Nazi salutes at a Danzig gig.  I saw a guy get beaten down for wearing dread locks and white laces in his Doc Martens.  I saw a couple of ugly situations where known anti-racist, pro-antifa bands Napalm Death and G.B.H. played at Harpos and Nazi Skinheads tried to ruin both shows by beating up on audience members.  It was a real mess back then.

Little did I realize back then that, these thug, shitheads were sociopaths at best or just dumb losers with nothing going in their lives at worst.  Many would end up in prison soon enough.  Of course some are completely reformed and I’ve talked to a couple who were flabbergasted to hear a Jew says he’s okay with the 14 part, just not the 88 part.  Just ask Wendy!  She told this one old skinhead guy, “Edwin’s really right wing, and he’s a Jew”, to which baldy said, “isn’t that an oxymoron?”

After going to college, I saw how much the zeitgeist had changed, how thanks to the cultural Marxist takeover of punk rock, the definition of what constituted “sexist”, “racist” and “homophobic” became narrower and narrower.  For instance, in the Dead Kennedys song “Religious Vomit”, Jello Biafra says “All religions make me wanna throw up/all religions make me sick”, yet he has never once protested the most hateful religion of them all, Islam.  In fact the only band from the leftist/anarchist punk world that has had the guts to say anything about Islam is Conflict, who wrote the song “An Option”, in which they suggest not granting sanctuary to immigrants from Muslim countries.  I asked a left wing punk buddy if he found the song to be racist, and unsurprisingly he did.

Hypocritical leftists – “atheists” who only attack meek Christians, feminists who only attack straight, white men, but refuse to acknowledge the real rape culture of the Muslim world, SJWs of all shapes and sizes – might explain why I became more right leaning in my views, but having conservative views is not the same as claiming support for the controversial Alternative Right.

Although Gavin McInnes did a superb job with his “guide to the right for dummies”, I think a more accurate way of looking at the right is like this:

Mainstream Right: Center right channels like Fox news and magazine such as National Review count as this.  To AltRighters, these would be called “cuckservative” outlets.  They extol the virtues of capitalism, strong national defense, free speech and 2nd amendment rights, they question the global warming/climate change narrative, but then take every precaution possible to not be called racist as if getting tagged with the scarlet “R” is worse than being a rapist (to SJWs, it really is), and you’ll never find any real discussion about how to quell illegal immigration.  They can’t stand Donald Trump for the most part – Greg Gutfeld, I’m ashamed of you! – and fire writers and contributors who they think “crossed the line”, such as John Derbyshire.  When pundits at Fox discuss Islamic terror, they won’t actually say the problem IS Islam.

Edgy Right: These would be commentators like Steve Crowder, Lauren Southern, Milo Yiannopoulos, Ben Shapiro, Bill Whittle, websites like Breitbart.com and Rebel Media and radio show hosts like Mike Savage and Mark Levin.  They don’t pull punches in telling you that there is no white privilege, that the Islamic religion is not one of peace, that multiculturalism hasn’t lived up to its promises and they give tacit approval for Donald Trump (except for Ben Shapiro, who seems to enjoy bashing Trump any chance he gets), while also touching on all the other right wing talking points.  People on the left call them “racist” all the time, yet they themselves make absolutely sure that you know they don’t support the “real racists.”  They too get called “cuckservatives” from time to time for reasons among which include not fully admitting that the reason places like Detroit and Baltimore are shitholes is not because of unions, but because black ghettos are fucking violent.

Alternative Right: These would be websites like Takimag, VDARE, AlternativeRight (obviously), Return of Kings and commentators such as Richard Spencer, Jared Taylor, John Derbyshire, Matt Forney, RamZPaul, Bernard Chapin, RockinMrE and Roosh V.  They just say what they want with no thought given whatsoever to who it might offend.  Some identify themselves as race realists, some identify as white nationalists, some identify as just American nationalists and some don’t identify with any group, but are just into “telling it like it is.”  One week I’ll agree with Jim Goad on this article about black reparations, then the following week, I’ll have to take it on the chin and read about how the story of Israel isn’t the rosy picture that Tea Party conservative commentators like Bill Whittle claim it to be.  Or how I’ll agree with a lot of what Roosh V says about feminists and liberals at Return of Kings, only to be delighted with this review of Kevin McDonald’s book The Culture of Critique, which I’m not necessarily opposed to reading.  And the cool thing is, because there is no thoughtcrime, these guys often don’t agree with each other.  One perfect example is how John Derbyshire, who got fired from National Review for writing this article, which, shall we say, doesn’t speak too highly of black people on a whole, believes that Kevin McDonald is a little too obsessed with his dislike of Jews.

Sometimes it’s a relief reading posts from Gavin McInnes, Kathy Shaidle or David Cole; they’re the slightly more “PC” ones at Takimag.  I can read their articles and say, “whew, this one won’t mention how Jews own 61% of the media.”  Vice magazine creator Gavin is the only “crossover” that I know of, often appearing on Greg Gutfeld’s show.  I sometimes joke about attempting to ruin Gutfeld’s career by spilling the beans that Gutfeld associates with the writer of a “hate site.”

Websites like AlternativeRight, Return of Kings, The Right Stuff and The Daily Shoah have already been registered under the SPLC as “hate sites.”  But, what really strikes me about these sites is that they’re not your standard issue white supremacist™, “gas the kikes”, David Duke fodder like stormfront.com.  For instance, I have never read a white nationalist article before that was also pro-Israel.  I never, in my life, thought I’d be listening to something called The Daily Shoah.  But, if I’m going to be 100% honest and set ideology aside, 1. it’s actually a pretty funny title, 2. the people who talk on it are intelligent and knowledgeable and 3. they took the retarded “Are You a Nazi Quiz” from the AddictingInfo.com, where it erroneously compares conservative views with Nazi ones to imply that conservatives are no different than the followers of the Third Reich, and they completely skewer it.  I was on the floor laughing.  I believe I referred to me and my fellow Jews as the “hooknose cabal” for an entire week.  One of the guys at The Daily Shoah even said, “if I HAD to choose between kikes and sand niggers, I’d choose the kikes.”  Thanks, bro, that means a lot!

The bottom line is that the Alternative Right takes the narrative away from the left.  It takes the notion of the ad hominem attack that the left is so good at using, locks it in a closet and tortures it to death as it screams for its safe space.