Savage Hippie Episode 46 – You Can Leave Behind a Trail of Corpses, but You’ll Never Be President

banksy_painting_2.0

The messages came in thick, hard and fast, jamming up my Facebook AND Gmail inboxes, all of them asking where the Savage Hippies had skedaddled off to in the past couple of weeks and if they were EVER coming back. Some samples include:

“I caught my wife blowing the plumber in our bathroom the other day, and the only thing keeping me from the brink of suicide was your podcast. If you don’t release an episode soon, I think I’m gonna bite the big one!”

“I wanna get gang banged by Edwin, David, the wheelchair guy and Ann wearing a strap on.”

“Look guys, I realize you’re all very busy people, but I turn to the Savage Hippie podcast for deep and thorough analysis on the topics of the day. Our civilization is on the brink of extinction, and I’d hate to think that you also have bowed out of the struggle and are now content to sit in your ivory towers counting all of the money you’ve made like a bunch of sellouts who only pretended to care.”

“Your show isn’t racist enough. You need more racism. I REALLY don’t feel like you guys dislike, ya know, ‘different’ groups of people. Ya need to work on that, or you might lose this here listener, and you don’t want that.”

Fear not, loyal and devoted fans, we’re baaack, and we’re as annoying as ever!!!

For starters, David Cole and I DO NOT agree on Donald Trump. I’m in the “I like him, but I’m realistic about what he’s capable of doing since he’s only one branch of the government” camp; being a businessman, he’s got to adapt his practices to push through what he promised his constituency. With that said, big ups on hiring Sheriff David Clarke, a no bullshit bad ass that will treat Islamic terrorists like common street thugs. David, on the other hand, is what is considered an anti-anti-Trumper. He likes that Trump is pissing off leftists, but that’s about all he likes about him. Ann Sterzinger is, well… just listen to find out!

More importantly, we talk about David’s dick sucking friend who tried to rape him when they were kids and the horrendous short film they made back in 1983 when David was 14, but looked like he was 10 and features the likes of Mel Blanc and other radio personalities.

Oh, okay, we also discuss Seth Rich and James Comey… look this was recorded nearly a week ago, and if you listen to us for anything other than to hear us trying to talk over each other while belittling different ethnic groups, women, gays and freaks that chop of their genitals and replace them with other genitals, then that’s YOUR problem.

For Sounds of Marshabaloosh this week, we feature a band that both Ann and I really enjoy and actually plan on seeing live in our respective cities. They’re called Giuda, and they’re an Italian rock band that will send you on a time warp right back to 1972 with their glam rock sound; if you’re a fan of Sweet, Slade and Garry Glitter, there’s a good chance you’ll dig the Marshabaloosh out of Giuda. We play their song “It’s My City”, which you can listen to here.

And because David was too busy writing up his piece for Takimag, he could not be bothered to do the art, so I did it! Clever, huh? The song at the end is “The Diet Has Failed” by the Yesticles, but you probably already knew that.

Savage Hippie Episode 35 -Milo Yiannopoulos Vs. Yvette Felarca: Cage Match

mile_vs_yvette

Pretty clever name, huh? Bound to get us tons of google hits, right? Some guy from the BBC emailed me a few weeks ago with a message that went something like, “cor blimey, chip chip cheerio, thanks for leaving the crown, ya bloody cunt, but I stumbled upon your bloody blog, and I would like to ask you some questions about the AltRight”, and rather than saying, “okay, shoot me some questions”, I said, “you should check out our podcast first.” He responded with, “fine, ya bloody cunt, I din’t wanna talk to a Paki-bashing racist cunt like you anyway.” And so, I blew my chances at stardom.

HOWEVER, in order to rectify the situation, I deliberately named the episode with the sheer intent of getting google hits, so that Nigel or whatever that Limey’s name is who emailed me, would email me back and see JUST HOW important the Savage Hippies really ARE. I mean, we have fuckin’ Milo Yiannopoulos, Yvette Felarca and Jim Goad as guests ON OUR FUCKIN’ SHOW!!! And, though we don’t get the REAL Milo Yiannopoulos, Yvette Felarca and Jim Goad on the show, we get their LIKENESSES instead. This is far more important in many cases. Like, for instance, if you’re a fan of 70s martial arts films, but were sad that Bruce Lee passed away, you were probably satisfied that you had Bruce Li, Bruce Lai and Lee Bruce to take the place of the deceased actor. Similarly OUR show features special guests Filo Yiannopoulos, Yvette Velarca and Chim Goad.

Then we send all three of them packing at about 27 minutes, and Ann decides to record the rest of the show in an underground catacomb. At this point, we discuss everything from my circumcised dick to Sharon Osbourne’s finding it amusing when a man had his severed dick go down a garbage disposal to something else that probably has to do with someone’s dick to how some fat Nazi kid can’t find a gurl to sleep with him, so he has to play with his dick and stalk and dox Ann. David isn’t on this episode, and I’m SURE it’s because he was sticking his dick in something.

Hey, so can we attend CPAC next year, or do the all the guys in suits have dicks up their asses and thus don’t want people who constantly talk about their dicks at their respectable conservative conference? I PROMISE that I’ve NEVER had a dick – black, white OR Asian – up my ass like that Milo fellow, though I have stuck mine in the buttholes of two lovely ladies, to whom I was monogamously pledged to in my mid-20s.

Oh, and SPOILER ALERT: ANN “I DON’T TRUST HIM ON FREE SPEECH, BUT HE’S AT LEAST BETTER THAN HILLARY CLINTON” STERZINGER CONCEDES IN THE LAST FEW MINUTES OF THE EPISODE THAT TRUMP IS A BAD ASS, AND EXPLAINS WHY.

For this week’s Sounds of Marshabaloosh segment we feature Solar Flare recording artists Pigs and their song “Amateur Hour in Dick City”, which not only fits the “dick” theme of this week’s episode, but is from from their second and latest album Wronger, and features guitarist/singer Dave Curran, who also plays bass in the noise-metal band, Unsane, one of my favorite bands of all time. Pigs play a mix of Zeppelin-style heavy rock with a hardcore edge, delivering brutal bloozy and heavy riffs, a killer groove and harsh vocals. Oh, and Curran is a big-time fan of Thomas Sowell, so that gives him about fifty-bajillion points ’round these parts. Check out “Amateur Hour in Dick City” here.

The song at the end is “The Diet Has Failed” by Yesticles, and I did the art, which is why it sucks.

Savage Hippie Episode 31 – So Far, So Good… So DRUMPF!

me_ann_david_daily_schmoe_2-0

We almost got it right this time. We almost did a proper Savage Hippie episode. All of the ingredients were there; the humor, the commentary, the insults, the hosts, the Sounds of Marshabaloosh segment, but there was one small, tiny, dinklage little factor… WE DID IT IN SHIFTS!!!

Sure, I COULD tell the fans that, during the first hour, David didn’t say a thing, but that would be LYING.  And I could just as easily say that, during the second hour, Ann kept her trap shut as well (not that I’d ever want her too, so don’t get any ideas, you sexist pig!), but that TOO would be a lying. Nope, in the first half of the episode, David simply wasn’t there, and in the second half, Ann wasn’t there either.  So what gives, eh? Why did you guys do it in shifts. After all, it’s EDWIN you can’t stand, not each other…

What is going on indeed? Is there trouble in paradise? Does Ann owe David for the blow they did off of the Karl Rove book? Does David owe Ann a better explanation for what happened during the Irish famine? Look, in the words of one of the members of Spinal Tap, it’s best to leave this one unsolved.

Speaking of Spinal Tap, FUCK YOU Rob Reiner.

In this episode, Ann and I spend the first half riffing on leftist lunacy and the NQ – “is it okay to punch a Nazi?”  Before you yell at me, we are NOT calling Richard Spencer a Nazi.  Also, we spend a good amount of time answering Jim Goad’s JQ’s from his Takimag article from years ago.  In the second half, David and I mainly talk about movies before shifting it to Trump and his feverishly writing executive order after executive order.

The band this week is Child Bite from Detroit with their song “Vermin Mentality”! Heavy ass noise sludge, with a singer who vaguely sounds like Jello Biafra and is signed to Phil Anselmo’s mighty Housecore label!  Check ’em out here!

Our sponsor this week is Aaron Clarey the mighty economist and asshole consultant whose consulting work you can check out at www.assholeconsulting.com and his funny economics/politics blog and podcast can be found at www.captaincapitalism.blogspot.com. Also check out many of his fine books including Bachelor Pad Economics, The Curse of the High IQ, Reconnaissance Man and Worthless: The Young Person’s Indispensable Guide to Choosing the Right Major.

The closing song is of course “The Diet Has Failed” by the Yesticles, and the artwork is by Clayton V.

SavageHippie Episode 23 – Ann’s Cat Gets the Shits

me_ann_david_cartoon

The Savage Hippie podcast is now the most successful radio show ever. Check out what some of our critics are saying about us!

“WOW!” – Larry David

“Ya know, it’s one of those things where it’s like you overhear a conversation between a group of drunk bigots in a bar, and you want to go over to their table, and tell them how what they’re saying is totally wrong and ignorant, but then you kinda giggle at some of the stuff they say, and then you feel REALLY bad about it!” – Jon Stewart

“Who ARE these sideshow Republicans? I’ll tell you what: that Ann girl they got on there… I don’t know if I’d want a woman like that marrying my son, but I’d be damned if I didn’t let her do my taxes!” – Rush Limbaugh

“The Savage Hippie podcast isn’t for everyone, but nothing in life really is.  Some people will definitely find it offensive, but you have to ask yourself ‘what’s more offensive: all of the violence and horror in this world or that three witty, young people are making fun of it?’ I give the two guys and gal my full approval and would gladly have them over for dinner any time!” – our one black listener

“How about a sprinkle of whimsy with your fascism souffle?  People also used to think black face was funny.” – some guy at The New Yorker or New York Times.

Anyway, David is back, and because he said that the one thing Julius Streicher has on me is that he’s an artist, well, I did the art, asshole.  Ann‘s cat was literally having a shitfit, and her internet kept going out, making her sound like a flickering hologram and I get all self righteous about how the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame will be a complete joke at least until they induct Hawkwind, the greatest band of all time.

The band featured in the Sounds of Marshabaloosh is called UXO, whose self-titled album, that was released on Reptilian records, is probably my favorite record this year.  Steve Austin and Chris Spencer, my two favorite guitarists from the last 25 years, teamed up and released an album of heavy, noisy sludge that most of our listeners will hate.  We play their song “Redlegs.”  Listen to it at http://www.reptilianrecords.com/products/565774-uxo-self-titled-lp-cd.

The closing song is “The Diet Has Failed” by the Yesticles.  I did the amazing artwork, assholes.

SavageHippie Episode 22 – Satire Or Sad And Tired?

me_ann_rock_em_sock_em

Eleven days ago, on Tuesday, November 8, 2016, David Cole, Ann Sterzinger and I sat down for five and a half straight (or gay, depending on who you ask) hours to document not only how David would end up losing $30 to me in a bet to see who would become the 45th President of the United States, not only to witness my losing quite a bit of sleep because butthurt Democrats refused to accept the results of the election until the 11th hour, not only to piss off Kenneth McNab by jokingly telling him to tell his loser Democrats to pack it in because I have to get up early for work, but to watch the leftist media DIE.

Having convinced themselves for several decades that the right is just one big, dumb, white man who is part racist redneck and part nutjob conspiracy theorist, the leftist taste makers, who reside primarily within the big coastal cities, insulated themselves in such a bubble of snark, that, when the results came in on that fateful Tuesday night, they received such a rude awakening, that ten days later they haven’t recovered from it.

TV pundits like Rachel Maddow, internet pundits like Laci Green and the godawful people at The Young Turks tried to keep their cool on camera while simultaneously proclaiming, “this is not a hoax/dream/whatever… Donald Trump has been elected President.”  Meanwhile, those with quite a bit less dignity took to the streets, and all of their actions have been documented in a number of youtube videos that portray grown adults pouting, crying and screaming as if someone in their immediate family had just died.  Journalists at Salon, Slate, Huffington Post and even the New Yorker are penning article after article about what went wrong.

So, what went wrong?  In their eyes, an evil cloud of hate hath descended upon the the United States, causing straight, white men to use legal means to assault the rights of anyone who is not straight, white and male.  In their eyes, the 2016 Presidential election was not just a battle between two candidates with different policies, but quite literally a battle between good and evil; and evil has triumphed.

This view is fundamentally absurd to anyone who hasn’t completely shut his/her/its brain off.  Even on the basic, leftist principle of pacifism, Donald Trump clearly has the better foreign policy; that is don’t fuck with other countries.  Clinton wanted to overthrow the Assad regime and agitate relations with Russia.  What for?  Yet, the same exact people who bitched about George W. Bush’s 2003 Iraq campaign saw no contradiction in supporting a candidate who wanted to do nearly the exact same thing.  Did not the fact that the Bushes now support Clinton raise any red flags?

That’s all besides the point.  The main point is that, after spending decades lampooning right wingers – let’s say it began with Archie Bunker – the tide has turned.  The leftists used to be the snarky, sarcastic ones, but who do you find more hilarious; a coal miner trying to feed his family or an adult male, who is now balling his eyes out and playing with Playdoh at his university because he can’t cope with his candidate losing?  Even Jon Stewart had to realize that he fucked up.

With that all said, Ann and I spend our podcast making a bunch of tasteless jokes, throw in some lucid insight somewhere.  Unfortunately David couldn’t make it this time, but, don’t you fret!  If you only tune into our podcast to hear David’s weird and creepy voice tell stories about his old Holocaust revisionist buddies or tell old timey jokes about rock bands, then, hold onto your bowels for TWO MORE DAYS!!!

This episode’s featured band on The Sounds of Marshabaloosh is Bone Hawk, a heavy rock band from Kalamazoo, MI.  If you’re into Black Sabbath and other heavy 70s rock, this will be right in your ballpark.  Check out their excellent album Albino Rhino at https://bonehawk.bandcamp.com/album/albino-rhino-2.

The song at the end is “The Diet Has Failed” by Yesticles, and the brilliant art was done by Clayton V.

Watch the Savage Hippie Election Night Extravaganza Live Stream!!!

savage_hippie_me_ann_davidStarts at 6 PM whatever the fuck the California time zone is, 8 PM Central and 9 PM Eastern.  You mountain people can figure this one out for yourselves.

In the words of the guy at the beginning of the first MC5 album, Kick Out the Jams, “you must choose, brothers, you must choose!  It takes five seconds to decide whether you are going to be part of the problem, or whether you are going to be part of the solution!”  In the words of Rush, “if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”  Whether you choose to be part of the problem, choose to be part of the solution or choose not to decide, you should most definitely choose to tune into the Savage Hippie Election Extravaganza live stream!

We’re going to be talking about Donald Trump!  We’re going to be talking about Hillary Clinton!  We’re going to be talking about Bill Clinton!  We’re going to be talking about GEORGE Clinton!  We might even compare David Duke with David Duchovny!

But the bottom line is that it’s going to be all LIVE, baby!  LIVE! LIVE! LIVE! Did I mention LIVE?!  So join me (Edwin Oslan), David Cole, the “infamous” Jewish Holocaust revisionist, former GOP operative and Takimag columnist and Ann Sterzinger, the misanthropic cult novelist of books such as NVSQVAM and The Talkative Corpse, in what Rush Limbaugh has called a “right wing side show”!*  It’s going to be THE GREATEST EXPERIENCE OF YOUR PUNY MORTAL LIFE!!!

*The part about Rush Limbaugh isn’t true.

SavageHippie Episode 20 B – Rape Hasn’t Been Cool For at Least Two Weeks

me_ann_david_bride_of_frankenstein

Happy Horrorween!  This is our not at all special Halloween episode, that I just arbitrarily decided to release on Halloween!  Otherwise there is absolutely no other underlying theme, other than “horrorween” sounds like how an Asian man would SAY Halloween.

But, I digress.  This is just the outtakes from Episode 20, and boyyy does it show.  Ann Sterzinger, David Cole and I discuss politics for like a half hour.  So I’m warning you that this episode is pretty fucking boring.  I try to convince David that Trump might win, but he refuses to be convinced!  My main argument? Because Dilbert creator Scott Adams says so!  And, to be perfectly honest, that’s as good an argument as any.

At some point, we discuss potential libertarian candidate Dick Boddie, who attempted to light a cigar, but ended up lighting his hand on fire instead.  Did I mention that he’s black? No, I did not because that is irrelevant to the story.

Then, for the rest of the podcast, Ann and I talk about how Ann got into it with a feminist acquaintance – well, former acquaintance – of mine for trying to concern troll the ladiez of the world.  Of course then I talk about how I think she’s got a cute ass.  And then we talk about the benefits (or lack thereof) of ass grabbing in general.

Look, if you were looking for substance, you came to WRONG place, buddy! But, if you’re looking for the conversation of three drunken friends who you wish you never had, but somehow can’t help to eavesdrop on, then crack open a beer or smoke a bowl, and turn this sucker up!

The song at the end is “The Diet Has Failed” by the Yesticles, and the artwork was done by Clayton V, who totally exaggerated by receding hairline and made Ann look like Frankenstein’s creation would look after several doses of kratom.