Jew to Jew: Edwin the Drunk Interviews Ben the Pious

ed_vs_ben

Note: This interview with Ben Shapiro actually took place and not a single word was edited out.

Edwin the Drunk: Hi Ben, welcome to Jew to Jew on SavageHippie TV, how’s it goin’, bud?

Ben the Pious: Oh, it’s great.  Pleasure to be here–

ETD: SORRY if I’m a bit wasted and tweaky, just popped an Aderall.  Ever done Aderall, Ben?

BTP: Heh, no, but I have been known to get a bit RANDY on Manishewitz on a Shabbos evening from time to time, heh heh.

(awkward silence)

ETD: So, how about them facts not caring about your feelings, eh?

BTP: Oh, yeah, I’m 100% fact, 0% feeling.  Fact ALL THE AWAY!  Not PC AT ALL!  ALL FACT, NO FEELING!

ETD: Well, that’s good know!  Word on the street is that you’re not too hip on Donald Trump.  Why’s that?

BTP: Man isn’t conservative, Ed.  He wants to take an EVEN stance on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict.  CRAZY, I TELL YOU!

ETD: Uhhh…

BTP: CRAZY!  You know what he MEANS by “EVEN”, don’t you?

ETD: Buhh….

BTP: GOD, err, Hashem, err Moses…

ETD: Don’t take the lord’s name in veii–

BTP: IT MEANS GAS THE KIKES, ED!!!  GOD, AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO SEES THAT??!!

ETD: Mmm, that’s not exactly the impression I got from that… say, so we’re the same age, both part of the hooknose usury cabal…

BTP: Ed, that’s not funny.

ETD: Well, now you got me thinking, are you a Jew by blood or religion?  You said that being Jewish isn’t about remembering the Holocaust. Then what is it?

BTP: I’m religious, Ed.  DON’T YOU SEE MY YARMULKE?!  ON MY HEAD?!  (points to head) I’M AN ORTHODOX JEW, AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT!!!

ETD: Oh, my bad… yeah, my folks came here from the Soviet Union back in ’74.  We’re not too religious though, but I’ve got that Ashkenazi blood–

BTP: ORTHODOX JEW!!! YARMULKE!!!

ETD: Right, got it… so like, Pam Geller supports Trump now–

BPT: I love that fine, 60 year old vixen, but she DOES NOT GET IT!!! “EVEN HANDED POLICY”?!

ETD: Don’t you think it’s good that Donald Trump doesn’t want to let 10,000 Syrians, or any Muslims into the country for that matter?  Last time I checked Muslims hate Jews and you would think–

BTP: Yahweh, Ed, don’t you know who Trump’s followers are?!

ETD: Well, I am and Pam Geller is–

BTP: Ugh, did you see the tweets that I got?!  LOOK AT THE F’N TWEETS I GOT, ED!!!

ETD: Oh yeah, that’s not very kind.  Well, ya know, trolls–

BTP: TROLLS?! MAYBE IF MILO WASN’T ALWAYS TAKING IT UP THE ASS, HE’D SEE THAT WE HAVE THE FUCKING FOURTH REICH ON OUR DOORSTEP!!!

ETD: I dunno, Ben.  I think you’re being a little dramatic–

BTP: Alternative Right are a bunch of neo-Nazi thugs, and I can’t believe that you don’t see how they’re trying to put me in an oven!

ETD: Uh, last time I checked Jared Taylor, Andy Nowicki and John Derbyshire don’t have too much of a problem with us yids.  Ya know, there was a time when I got Richard Spencer and Robert Spencer mixed up!  Can you believe that?  One guy looks like an ogre, and the other guy looks Carrey Grr–

BTP: YEAH!  That’s what they WANT you to think!  Have you talked to any of those creeps?!

ETD: Yeah, they’re not too bad, although Taki Theoshapalappadingdong or whatever the fuck his name is isn’t too fond of us.  I mean, I can’t say I blame him–

BTP: WHAT?!  What are you, a self hating Jew or something?!

ETD: Oh, no, but you gotta at least admit that some of “the tribe” were involved in the Frankfurt School, which is basically the reason we’re in this PC mess… I mean, facts don’t care about your feel–

BTP: It has NOTHING to do with being Jewish–

ETD: Well, I mean, the Mafia had nothing to do with being Sicilian, but they were still all–

BTP: Look, Ed, I didn’t come here to hear this antisemitic garbage.  If you wanna ask me a real question, then ask me a real fuschluggina question, or I’m gonna plotz!

ETD: All right, all right, what do you think of the new Schindler’s List Nintendo game?

BTP: What?!

ETD: Yeah, it’s kinda like how they adapted Platoon to Nintendo, ya know, action adventure shoot ’em up… it’s kinda like Mario Bros., but instead of Princess Toadstool, you save a girl in a red dress in every level.  Capcom put it out–

BTP: That’s f’n sick, man.  I’m gonna contact every news program I know and tell them about this tasteless and disgusting–

ETD: All right, you got me, I was kidding.

BTP: Man, Ed, you had me going for a minute.  You’re good, man.

ETD: Heh, so, what do you think of the Rugrats Hanukkah special?

BTP: Never heard of it; I used to watch TV, but then I realized it was a bunch of liberal propaganda.

ETD: Oh yeah, I read your book about that.  It was pretty good, except for all those faggy shows you talk about, except for Three’s Company.  John Ritter is THE MAN!!!

BTP: Ed, are you going to ask me a real question because I have Shabbos dinner in a couple hours, and I gotta get ready for that.

ETD:  So, what do you think about what David Cole said about you in his book?

BTP: DAVID COLE??!! THAT HOLOCAUST DENYING PIECE OF SLIME??!!  YEAH, HE CHANGED HIS NAME TO STEIN!!! ANYBODY WHO DENIES THE HOLOCAUST LIKE HIM DOESN’T DESERVE THE NAME STEIN!!!

ETD: Uh, well, he wasn’t really denying the Holocaust, I mean, he says it happened.  He just wanted to revise a few of the well-accepted elements of it, I mean, he says there were only four gas chambers instead of six–

BTP: OH, FOR THE LOVE YAHWEH, DON’T TELL ME YOU ACTUALLY LIKE THAT SELF-HATING, HOLOCAUST DENYING PIECE OF GARBAGE!!!

ETD: Uh, yeah, I think he’s pretty cool, I mean, I did find it funny when Pam Geller called him an asshat, something I wouldn’t expect a woman pushing 60 to say–

BTP: WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING THAT HOLOCAUST DENYING SLIME??!!

ETD: Uh, actually, I think he’s an Israel supporter, so–

BTP: LOOK, ED, DO YOU WANT ME TO WALK OFF THIS SHOW?!  I APPRECIATE THE BAGEL AND LOX BACKSTAGE, BUT I DID NOT COME HERE TO DISCUSS SELF HATING HOLOCAUST DENIERS.  I’M GLAD THAT RED HEAD RATTED ON HIM.  ALL HOLOCAUST DENYING SLIME SHOULD BE CENSORED AND OSTRACIZED.  I MEAN, YOU SAY YOU’RE JEWISH.  HOW COULD YOU SUPPORT SUCH SLIME?

ETD: Well, I mean, people say the Civil War was more about economics than slavery, and can you tell me how many people were killed in the Armenian genocide–

BTP: SIX MILLION JEWS, ED!!! SIX MILLION JEWS!!!

ETD: Well, other people were killed during the Holocaust, like gays and Gypsies-

BTP: SIX MILLION JEWS, ED!!!

ETD: Oh, right, my bad.

BTP: ISRAEL ISRAEL ISRAEL!!!

ETD: Uh, yeah, good place!  I went there on Birthright five years ago, rode a camel, hung out in Bedouin tent – but man, the girls were such skanks!  All going and cheating on their boyfriends.  I tell you, if my girlfriend said she was going on a trip overseas and didn’t have me come with her–

BTP: ISRAEL ISRAEL ISRAEL!!!

ETD: Uh, yeah, I like that place.  Ya know, someone at the Taki’s site got all Jew hatin’ on me and told me to get my ass packing out of the U.S. and go to Israel–

BTP: SEE?! A BUNCH OF F’N NEO-NAZIS!!!  I keep trying to tell Nero when he’s not getting plowed up the ass that first they came for–

ETD: Eh, I didn’t take it that personally.  I mean, at least he wasn’t telling me the place belongs to the Palestinians.  There are definitely worse places to be deported to.  I mean, they hold this awesome, annual metal festival, and Ross the Boss Friedman from the Dictators and Manowar always plays it.  Which one of Ross’ bands do you like more; Dictators or Manowar?

BTP: Heh, I dunno, Ed, I’m more of a Beatles/Rolling Stones kinda guy, ya know?  But, mainly I just listen Schlock Rock with my kids, if you know what I mean…

ETD: Er, nooope…

BTP: Were you Bar Mitzvahed, Ed?

ETD: Uh, yeah, it was pretty cool!  I was stoned outta my mind when I read the Torah, kinda like that kid in A Serious Man

BTP: Ugh, I HATE the Coen brothers.  Couple of self hating Jews!  They can’t even spell COHEN the right way.  Hey Joel and Ethan, it’s C-O-H-E-N… I swear to Yahweh… now, SPIELBERG is a director I can get behind!

ETD: Eh, I guess Jaws and Close Encounters were all right…

BTP: Schindler’s List is the GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE.  It is the most honest and truthful portrayal of the Holocaust ever put to film.  I thought I was watching a documentary.

ETD: Uh, right… I thought the scene in Amistad where slaves revolt on the ship and kill all the people was pretty cool… so, what’s your favorite Mel Brooks film–

BTP: I don’t watch films by self-hating Jews.  THE INQUISITION IS NOTHING TO LAUGH AT!!! HOW DARE HE!!!  He might as well call himself Mel Gibson.

ETD: So, did you really think it was necessary to resign from Breitbart?

BTP: Ugghhh, Ed, I don’t want to go into it.  If you saw the video, I think it’s pretty darn clear that Michelle Fields was sexually assaulted and gang raped, and all Breitbart did was stand by and laugh at her.

ETD: Uh, didn’t the guy just nudge her aside because she was in his way?  I do that all the time when I go to a bar and it’s really crowd–

BTP: THEN YOU’RE A SEXUAL ASSAULT APOLOGIST!!!  Look, Ed, I gotta wrap this up.

ETD: Do you own a gun, Ben?

BTP: Yeah, certainly!  Pro 2nd amendment, baby!

ETD: Wanna go shooting some time?

BTP: Sure, but not on Shabbos!

ETD & BTP both break down laughing.

ETD: All right, cheers, brother.

BTP: Thanks, Ed!

 

 

I’ve Got Israel on My Mind

hakim

I don’t need anyone to point out the irony that I had the Holocaust song “Death or Glory” running through my head when I came up with the title for this post.  Ya know, because of their name, which either was or wasn’t inspired by the historical event that so became labeled in the 1960s and had been spoon fed to the masses through shit movies like Schindler’s List;  what kind of Jew would say such a thing?!  Oh, the HORROR!!!  My skinhead pals Nick and Gabe called me a self-hating Jew just because I pointed out that the Holocaust industry makes all the non-Jew honkies feel bad, as if anyone under 70 years old had anything to do with it.  I’m NOT a self-hating Jew; I’m so nationalistic/Zionistic, you could call me an ashkeNAZI, yuck, yuck.  I am, however, very critical of some of my fellow brethren for being such idiots over the years; like, for instance, my coworker, who has been so guilted by the retarded misinformation about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict that he feigned complete indifference to taking the FREE Birthright trip because he’s so uncomfortable/ashamed of his ethnic heritage.  Nice work, BDS (Batman Does Superman?).  Where college campus intimidation didn’t work, your shaming campaign did.  But, I’m not a libtard, and you Pali-Jordanian-whatevers are getting EVERYTHING you deserve.

A couple days ago, I was asked what my feelings were about U.S./Israeli relations and the Israeli/Palestinian conflict as a whole.  Now, there’s a difference between what MY personal feelings are and what I feel are the appropriate policies for the current situation.  It seems as though, when debating the topic, the only sides you can take are that either you’re for having the U.S. back Israel financially or you’re an idiotic, BDS (bondage, domination and sadism?) supporting, left-wing douche.

But, that just doesn’t compute because, as the hot, Aryan dominatrix Ann Coulter pointed out, the population of the United States is only 2% Jewish, and average Americans are not concerned about what’s going on in or around Israel anymore than they are about Japan. They’re not against Israel and would gladly visit Israel, but, in terms of their national allegiance, they don’t really have much stake in Israel.

So, if it doesn’t have anything to do with them personally, why would they want their tax dollars to go to Israel, or any other country for that matter?  Jim Goad wrote this hilarious article about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, which sums up the matter quite nicely.  In principle I feel the Jews deserve a homeland just as much as any other group.  Ben Shapiro claims that being a Jew is not about “remembering the Holocaust”, but about following the laws of the Torah.  Is it necessarily about either?

Well, I’m Shapiro’s age, but I’m not a Torah thumping, Yarmulke wearing, davening every morning, wait until marriage to have sex, religious dude.  So then what makes someone a Jew?  Well what makes someone an Armenian, Greek, Italian, German or Irish?  Maybe blood ties to tribes that go back several thousands of years, who formed nations and have certain ethnic characteristics– YYYEEESSSS, I BELIEVE THAT RACIAL AND ETHNIC DIFFERENCES EXIST AND “RACE” IS NOT JUST A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT–  And no, sorry, the Jews of Europe do not descend from the Khazars.  Even “Jews run the world” David Duke doesn’t believe that.

Was the creation of Israel good in a geopolitical sense?  Let’s put it this way; if I were to go to the worst ghetto of Detroit, pull out a wad of twenties and swing them around, and a group of thugs robbed me at gunpoint or killed me, you would think I’m a dumb ass, wouldn’t you?  You’d ask me what I was doing in such a shitty area waving money around.  Well, what if I came back to that same area per my technically legal right to be there, since it is a free country after all, only this time I’m carrying a gun, and I put a few bullet holes in my assailants.  Would you think I’m a murderer or a hero?  Am I defending myself or out for blood?

Once you can honestly answer that question, then you know what side you stand on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict.  When Jews went to Israel after World War II, they knew they would be surrounded by a population of savages, whose values date back to about when their religion was initially established and only understand the way of force and violence.  They hate Jews simply because they do.  The Jews briefly thought about setting up their homeland in Uganda, but fuck Uganda.

And don’t go calling me racist when I speak of the “religion of peace” in such colorful terms.  As Ann Sterzinger pointed out, Islam isn’t a race; it’s a mental disorder.  There are white Muslims too, and all you have to do to not be a Muslim is simply stop practicing Islam.  Sorry if CAIR brainwashed you into thinking “Islamophobia” is actually a thing.  If you’re going to take the “but that’s religious bigotry route”, then why don’t you yell at EVERY SINGLE MEDIA OUTLET THAT LAMPOONS CHRISTIANITY FIRST, you dope.  But, you know, if we had just left the Islamic world to its own devices, we wouldn’t be experiencing all of these terrorist acts.  If you think the attacks in Brussels or San Bernardino have anything to do with the Middle East, or more specifically, the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, I want to know what you’re smoking!  Okay, ISIS was an outcome of going to Iraq, but what of it now?  Why are so many Muslim kids radicalized in the West?  Could it be their pathological aderence to the Koran?

But, back to my point.  I honestly, to a man, feel that the majority of the people who support BDS (bagels, donuts and sausages?) are the same bearded, glasses wearing, feminist hipster fags who support retarded, leftist agitators such as #blacklivesmatters, Occupy Wall Street and every other George Soros backed, anti-American, anti-male, anti-white crusade.  They of course don’t realize that the people they want to help hate them with a furious, “kill all the honkies” passion; in some cases replace “honkies” with Jews.

The “hillbillies” that liberals like to lampoon, the ones that put the confederate flags on their pickup trucks, are much more tolerant of Jews than the blacks, Latinos and Dearbornistan dwelling Muslims who they’re trying to side with; you’re not them, you’re not like them and you’ll never be like them.  I honestly feel that most liberals and leftists think that Israel is the “oppressor” and that the Palestinians are the “oppressed” because the more prosperous Israeli population has a lighter complexion, and the less prosperous Palestinian population has a darker one.  Hell, Donald Trump, the man they’re so fond of bashing, wants to not let 10,000 Jew hating Syrians and other assorted, Islamic riff raff into the country and they’re against that?  But Jews have always been their own worst enemies; first they were complicit in creating Marxism and Cultural Marxism and then they watched as the derelicts whom they sired turned on them and trounced all over Israel.  And yet self-hating, liberal Jews, like this one guy, Brian that I know, can only do one thing: bash whitey.  This guy hates himself, the United States and white people so much, that he will do anything to defend the “innocent” Muslims and “oppressed” non-whites, who most likely hate him, even if it means retreading the tired, cliched and completely irrelevent Holocaust comparison.  Godwin’s Law indeed.

And all of that footage of IDF soldiers dancing around bombs or allegedly celebrating blowing up little kids on the Gaza is just a bunch of gussied up propaganda that’s taken out of context.  We call that Pallywood.  If you feel so bad about what you see in those little clips, do you feel the same about the Allies bombing Dresden?  If you feel that the so called displaced “Palestinians” (there never was a Palestine; they’re actually Jordanians) deserve all their land back, do you feel the same way about the Indians?  Or the Japanese during World War II for that matter?  And, while we’re on the topic of rights of return, why is it that, after being put in interment camps and only receiving paltry reparations, the Japanese bounced back and now are massively successful in the world of tech, while Palestinians are, well… good at killing, stabbing and blowing themselves up?

It’s war, son; you send your nail-filled Qassam rockets into our land, we’ll blow yours to pieces, got it?  Good!  You don’t want us to occupy your slightly less militant West Bank, keep your terrorists in check.

With all that said, does the U.S. need to fund Israel and its efforts to keep itself safe?  When I suggested it did not, the backlash from the evangelical right was hard and fierce.  One guy said that the only country we need to fund is Israel.  Really?  I mean, look, if you gave me billions of dollars year after year, I wouldn’t turn it down, but that’s on you, and I’ve been to AIPAC meetings at the local synagogue; there’s really nothing that went on there that warrants much discussion.  The problems they discussed with the crazy Pali-kids running around stabbing people is an Iraeli problem, and now that Israeli citizens are arming themselves, well…

Now, look up above at what I wrote.  Does any of that imply in any way that I am not an Israel supporter, or that I’m on the side of the Mujahideen?  I’m clearly supporting Israel’s right to defend itself.  I’ve been to Israel, I like it in Israel, I recognize it as the only democracy in the Middle East where hot, tanned, Kim Kardashian lookalikes roam the streets.  The culture is laissez-faire in regards to being a drunk degenerate; so much so in fact there’s an article at the Alternative Right, which says Israel is in the same state of moral and cultural decline as places in Europe and the U.S.

But should the U.S. play favorites with the economy in the state that it’s in?  As a Jew, is it fair to force 200,000,000 working Americans to help fund a country that they don’t care about?  I’m of the mindset that the U.S. shouldn’t play favorites; not to Israel, not to Iran, not to Saudi Arabia, not to Mexico, not to China, not to Russia, nobody.  I’m an American after all and, as much as it as it annoys me when people make stupid claims about a conflict they don’t wholly grasp about a country they don’t even know is the size of New Jersey or care so damn much about when it really doesn’t affect them, I first and foremost care about the U.S.

And, hey, if you care for the Palestinians so much, why don’t you go live among them; especially if you’re gay or an overweight feminist with blue hair.