Braving the Slut Mine of OKCupid

okc_profile_pic_3.0What a stud!  With the weather warming up, my shedding a few pounds, and women shedding a few layers of clothing, it’s time to get back into the dating game.  Since I’m a tech tard, and I don’t have a tinder account, and since I don’t really have enough patience for pickup artistry, yet I want to guarantee that I’ll be able to sleep next to a warm body more than once every three months, I don’t typically go to bars with the hope of picking up ladies; after all, with the flowing booze, mixed signals that women send, and the cost of liquor, it can really be a liability. Don’t get me wrong; I HAVE picked up women at the bar before, but the “going out and seeing if I can get laid” investment seems to have hit the point of diminishing returns. Therefore, it seems like the only practical choice is braving the slut mine of OKC in spite the fact that it seems to have all but entirely been picked clean of anything worth picking.

And because I’ve become the expert at OKC dating with a reasonably high success rate, I’ve come up with this handy guide on how to work OKC for maximum results.

Your entire purpose of getting onto OKC is to convince a complete stranger to meet up with you so that the two of you can fornicate; I actually have to thank many of the ladies who haven’t been spooked by all of this rape hysteria out of letting me pick them up at their homes.  One thing is clear, though; if a woman doesn’t sleep with you the first night, she absolutely is not interested.  Even if she DOES sleep with you the first night, that’s no guarantee that she’ll be interested.  So, let’s just say, the whole purpose of getting onto OKC is for you to find someone who wants to fornicate the night you meet her; all you have to do is not give her a reason not to.  You can worry about what happens between the two of you later; that’s not what OKC is for.

Next, you have to get it out of your mind that you’re looking for anyone in particular.  Getting a girl from OKC or getting a girl in general these days is less contingent upon what mutual interests you have and more based on whether or not you’ll feel disgusted with yourself after waking up next to her the following morning.  In other words, if you message three girls because you see that they’re all huge Magma fans or they’ve seen all of John Cassavetes’ films and you think you’ve found the love of your life, you will rarely if ever get a message back.  In the dating market and basically in every other aspect of life, women have the upper hand.  The market is saturated with lonely and horny guys, so you have to be open minded even if she is a Harry Potter fan.

You have to have an iron will.  Your hunt for women has to be completely emotionless and based purely on your desire to find someone who will let you put your penis inside her, and you have to send out message after message after message to God knows how many women before any respond.  Getting pussy is like looking for a job.  You don’t send out two resumes to your favorite jobs and hope one of them bites.

Best bet is to have a template that you have saved, so you don’t have to keep typing the same stupid message over and over again.  For example:

“I see that you’re a big fan of _____.  What do you think of _____?  I’m actually a really big fan of _____.  Do you have any thoughts on that?”

If you see she’s a fan of horses, you can write:

“I see that you’re a big fan of horses.  What do you think of saddle sores?  I’m actually a really big fan of Freddie Got Fingered.  Do you have any thoughts on that?”

Or, if she’s a collector of old lawnmowers:

“I see that you’re a big fan of lawn mowers.  What do you think of riding mowers?  I’m actually a really big fan of hiring illegal immigrants to do my yard work.  Do you have any thoughts on that?”

Or, she comes from a family of taxidermists:

“I see that you’re a big fan of taxidermy.  What do you think of having your own body stuffed when you die and having someone put it on display for people to commemorate your life?  I’m actually a really big fan of filling dead cats up with lard.  Do you have any thoughts on that?”

That shows that you have read the profile so you’re not JUST going off of what she looks like.  Unfortunately some women have so little imagination that they put things like “hanging with my friends”, as if you assumed that she doesn’t have any friends.  Also, most women these days claim that they’re “sarcastic” or that they’re really good at “sarcasm.”  What that really means is they have carte blanche to say any disgusting, obnoxious or unpleasant thing they want and, if you want some sugar that night, you had better put up with it, bub!  I talked to one women who said that, if she didn’t like me, she would pretend to go to the bathroom and leave me.  Oh, that is SO funny and totally not indicative of something she actually does.  I did, in fact, tell her that that “joke” was quite the turn off and cancelled the date.  See, ladies, men can be put off by things that YOU say as well, and we’re not the ones buying all the Prozac.  So maybe learn some manners, k?

Make sure to say enough about yourself in your profile so you legitimately seem like an interesting person that a woman would want to hang out with, and make sure you look cool in your pictures.  Get a female friend to snap a few good shots for you.  Some tips I have are don’t smile in any of them and make sure to have at least one where you’re actually doing something so girls think you’re an active person.  Oh and, if you can’t figure out NOT to put something like “all you women are looking for is a good time with my money, why am I always friend zoned, wah wah wah” or “why do you bitches always go with the the assholes when I’m such a nice guy” on your profile, then you probably should have your internet taken away from you and be forced to interact with real people.

The girls on OKC can be broken down into three basic categories; attention whores, horny trollops without children and horny trollops with children.  Let’s expand on these:

Attention Whores: Basically, if a girl is super, fuckin’ hot, like an eight through a ten, and she’s on a dating site, she’s an attention whore.  There’s literally no reason for her to be on OKCupid other than to continue to feed her narcissism.  She never responds to messages but always “complains” about how her inbox is full, and she’s got tons of little satellite men who are more than willing to be friend zoned by her to catch a whiff of her anal vapors.  Yet she doesn’t go out with ANY of them because none of them have been truly able to scratch that itch.  You have to be like someone super important, like the creme de la cock to be with this type.  In other words, she’s the most chaste person ever until a popular indie rock band comes to town.

Horny Trollops Without Kids: Believe it or not, these ladies actually might want a relationship.  The highest level of attractiveness any of these ladies ever reaches is a seven, but since when was a slightly overweight, curvey seven, who is also really pretty, that bad or shameful to be with?  Or a girl with a hot body, but has the face of ET?  Especially in the age where better than average looking guys have to settle for less and less.  My only tip on how to get these ladies is just learn to be fun and sociable, learn a tiny modicum of game (like, I mean, don’t be a pussy and go for the kiss) and don’t unload your spergy, in depth knowledge of every Hawkwind album on her unless her OKC profile explicitly says that she’s a huge Hawkwind fan, and you’ll be in like sin.  I’m not kidding; when I put the work in, I can nail someone about every other week to once a month and, if one doesn’t work out, I just go for another.  The only exception is during the cold months.  Then women tend to flake more often, either not answering your texts or coming up with bogus excuses to not meet up with you, since they’d prefer to snuggle by themselves under a blanket, than go out for a couple hours and end up snuggling with another human being.  And once they break the date, don’t try to reschedule because, if a woman is “too sick” to go out that night, she just isn’t interested.  At least she spent 20 seconds to come up with an excuse and didn’t just stop responding!  Don’t take it personally.  Women can’t even stay loyal to their own friends, let alone someone they’ve never met in person.  It’s pretty tough these days for me to take what a woman says at face value unless she’s giving me directions or something trivial like that.

Horny Trollops With Kids: You might think that, because a woman is a single mother, she would want a man in the house to help take care of and raise the kids, ya know, so the kids are raised by a complete family.  You would be wrong.  You just have to ask yourself where the actual father is and why she didn’t stay with him.  The answer: what difference does it make where he is as long has his check arrives on the scheduled date and he can play babysitter every other Saturday?  Believe me: single moms LOVE this arrangement.  They get to play act at being moms – i.e. be “heroic” –  a few days a week, then get to slut it up on the weekends.  The last thing they need is a long term relationship to screw up that arrangement.  But at least you get laid!  Too bad these mothers are raising a generation of neurotic freaks.  Also, they tend to flake a bit more; ya know, “couldn’t find a babysitter.”

You’ve been advised about how to OKC, you’ve been given the crash course on how to start a conversation and you’ve seen the three types of women you’ll meet.  The rest is up to you.

Here are three, final tips before I depart:

  1. Be EXTREMELY wary of a woman who looks surprisingly good, yet is overly eager to go out on a date with you.  She’s either aged severely or put on weight since the pictures on her profile were taken and assumes that once you’ve had enough alcohol or weed in your system, that you’ll overlook these minor details.  DON’T BE TRICKED!!!
  2. Although this seems obvious, overly eager guys, of which I’ve been at times, seem to forget; if a woman ONLY takes closeups of herself and doesn’t have a single full body shot, she is fat.
  3. Although your level of tolerance might be higher than mine, I’d highly suggest avoiding women who use words like “polyamorous”, “pansexual”, “non-binary”, “cis-gendered” or “heteronormative.”  They’re just fancy ways of saying, “daddy didn’t love me, and now I’m getting back at him by being a slut.”  Obviously avoid feminists.

And there you have it.  If you’re willing to put in the work, you should soon be having sex with moderately attractive women, some of whom have real jobs and real concerns, who you’ll be able to maintain a relationship with for at least a few weeks.

 

Super Hot Anti-Feminist Launches #theTriggering

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Gorgeous – and yes, it’s absolutely essential to bring attention to how a woman looks before she expresses her opinion about something – Libertarian Commentator and anti-feminist activist Lauren Southern has launched a hilarious and hilariously juvenile movement designed to attack Social Justice Warrior crybabies, who have taken an unprecedented level of control of the dialogue in this and other Western countries.  The movement, set to launch on March 9th and 10th is called #theTriggering, and the concept, from my understanding is pretty simple: to be as offensive as possible in order to drive crybaby SJW’s off the internet or just totally insane as sort of a way to tell them that it’s time for them to stop policing every word that comes out of a person’s mouth, especially if that person happens to be white, straight and male.

And the concept is as beautiful as Lauren Southern’s smile.  Not everyone feels exactly like everyone else – the fact remains kiddies that there are people who don’t like blacks, people who don’t like gays, people who feel the white race is the best race, people who don’t like Muslims and prefer they’d leave that evil death cult before becoming a U.S. citizen, people who don’t like Jews, people who want to see every illegal immigrant kicked out of the U.S., people who want to see our borders shut completely, people who feel women should be in the kitchen making sandwiches and, if we live in a truly democratic society, we acknowledge that, as unpleasant as some views may be, we can’t simply shut people up who have them.

Unfortunately, the only thing SJWs want to do is shut people up.  How DARE you not agree with every single thing they think?  Don’t you realize that blacks were slaves 150 years ago and the residue of that slavery can be felt any time a white person so much as questions the effectiveness of affirmative action?  Don’t you realize women couldn’t vote until 1920 and that, any time you question why women overwhelmingly vote for bigger government, you might as well go back in time and sabotage the suffragette movement?  Don’t you realize that, if you have a view that is not in complete concert with theirs, you’re a sexist, racist, homophobe and, now I guess Islamophobe even though Muslims are about as sexist, racist and homophobic as they get, but we give ’em the pass because… WHY?!

I’m not here to discuss Islam; I do plenty of Muslim bashing in other articles, so I’ll stick to SJWs.  If feminist harpies or BlackLivesMatter activists were just derelicts that yelled at you on the street and people just ignored them, then that would be one thing.  However that is not the case.  The fact of the matter is that these people have turned Universities into a joke; they have forced professors to resign; they think it’s acceptable to take down pictures of historical figures because those figures held beliefs that were common then, but would be considered hateful now.  And the establishment is balking!  In no other time in history would two feminist activists be invited to the U.N. to discuss how to censor any criticism of their bogus attack on the video game industry.  Yet, it happened!

But, there’s a catch to all of this.  There is no safety net or safe space for your beliefs.  In other words, when someone points out that Jews control 61% of the Hollywood studio system and try to drive a narrative, such as with what looks like the absolutely retarded (And yes, I’m judging it even though I haven’t seen it nor plan on it) new movie Race, about 1936 Olympic runner Jackie Owens as some sort of struggle on his part against the prejudice of the Nazis, you have to, at very least, not take it as a personal affront.

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PC is the work of the devil… no, not the devil, because then it would make it something kinda cool… it’s actually the work of cultural Marxist engineers, who, after realizing that their Marxist, egalitarian society didn’t work in industrialized countries, where people could buy cool shit, had to invent the notion that there was an oppressor and an oppressed, while completely ignoring the history of the rest of the world.  Then, the government could come in and “equalize” everything, whether it be with affirmative action quotas or forcing the military to lower its standards to allow the weaker gender to participate, all while influencing the media to blame the shortcomings of the so called oppressed groups on straight, white men.

So, here we are in 2016 on the verge of complete social and cultural collapse.  In 1967 American Nazi Party leader George Lincoln Rockwell spoke at UCLA.  Can you fathom that happening in 2016?  To have a David Duke or Tom Metzger speak at a university?  I’m not saying these are people whose views I agree with or espouse; I’m saying, in a truly free society, you let them have a chance to voice their opinions and allow people to decide if they agree with them or not.

Some may argue that we “shitlords” are nothing but overweight, annoying losers who are home on a Friday night, chomping down Dorritoes and wouldn’t be bothering with this nonsense if we had a woman as hot as Lauren Southern to take out.  On one hand, they have a point; pissing people off is a whole heck of a lot of fun, like when I teased the fuck out of these feminists who got all angry about the band Black Pussy last May.  But, there really is a point to this.  Well, for one, I’m not overweight and two, it’s not a Friday night; it’s a Wednesday night and that Jew fag Josh hasn’t contacted me to go to the local sports bar, where we can ogle the girls that have the big booties and wear the black tights.

But, there’s an even bigger point to this: whether your economic views are right, left or center, your social views should always be towards allowing an open dialogue no matter how offensive or “triggering” that dialogue may be.  Political correctness is not just a roadblock for comedians to have fun at the expense of the less fortunate; it’s quite literally the death knell of the ability to discuss actual problems with any sense of honesty, to address the elephant in the room, to tell your fat female friend that the reason men pump and dump her is not because of the color of her hair or the way she laughs, but because she is fat.

 

 

How I Stopped Being an Elitist

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I was a bit surprised when, in both Bernard Chapin’s video review and Matt Forney’s online review for Aaron Clarey’s latest book, The Curse of the High IQ, they mention how Clarey refers to sports entertainment as “sportsball”, a popular colloquialism that is typically used to describe sports as entertainment for the plebes.  I was under the impression a person like that would have a less cavalier attitude towards people who love sports and other popular entertainment, and that it is people on the left who judge people and call things “sportsball”; not to mention calling the people who enjoy it “dumb bros.”

Let’s get one thing straight; I may have tattoos, I may listen to weird underground music that nobody’s ever heard of, I may watch a bunch of cult films that nobody’s ever seen, but, when I go out, I would rather hang out at my local sports bar, watch sports on the TV, drink a stout, scarf down chicken wings and have said beer and wings served to me by a hot waitress, who wears black tights and a low cut tank top.  I’m over the era of my life where I want to sit in a dimly lit quasi dive populated by arty hipsters.  The fact that said bar will have a jukebox filled with the music of hip bands like Can, Captain Beefheart and the Fall DOES NOT MATTER to me AT ALL.  I literally DO NOT CARE if other people share my taste in music, and chances are these same people probably wouldn’t jam out to ZZ Top, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Ted Nugent, UFO, the Scorpions or Deep Purple, bands I like just as much as the approved “cool” bands in the post-punk, post-hardcore, kraut-rock and noisy indie rock genres.

Furthermore, I do not care if a girl I sleep with/date is a total “sportsball” loving, reality TV show watching bimbo, a military history buff who shoots guns, a tattooed metal chick with an Acid Bath patch on her denim vest or a glasses-wearing book nerd.  I’ve had all of these varieties and realized that the only things that matter to me are whether the girl is attractive and fun to be around.

So, where am I going with all of this?

I realize that, at age 31, I was smarter, cooler, funner and more accepting of people when I was in high school, than during my college years when, all of a sudden, I attempted to be an elite “cultured” person.

I was reading a negative review on Netflix of Luis Buñuel’s 1972 classic The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie and, while I believe whoever reviewed the film had the wrong idea that it was explicitly meant to diss the “bourgeoisie”, I believe that a good amount of younger people who are fans of the film believe that it is in fact supposed to be Buñuel’s “fuck you” to the rich, rather than just a charming series of surreal vignettes.

Y’see, arty hipstery people are leftists and they hate the rich, the 98%, yet, at the same time, fail to realize that the average working Joe would prefer to watch a super hero, CGI-filled Hollywood blockbuster rather than The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, and that, in effect, would make the very people leftists are allegedly trying to help the target of their ridicule; in other words, the rank ‘n’ file are all idiots who would rather watch that “sportsball”, yet we want to help them.

And, sadly, though I was never a full on leftist, I had a similar view of people who I went to college with that didn’t share my tastes; people who didn’t watch countless hours of films by Godard, Truffaut, Fellini, Tarkovsky, Passolini, Bergman, Herzog and Bresson or read thousands of pages of Faulkner, Hemmingway, Doestoevsky, Proust, Joyce, Camus or Balzac or didn’t spend thousands of hours filling their ears with the sounds of Can, Kraftwerk, Neu!, Faust, Public Image Ltd., the Fall, Devo, Miles Davis, the Birthday Party, Einstürzende Neubauten or Captain Beefheart (ya know, smart people music).

On top of that, I convinced myself that I had to date “smart”, arty hipster chicks who wore the black rim glasses, had a pixie cut and wore skinny jeans and T. Rex t-shirts.  I cannot believe how hot the girl I was dating back in 2007 was.  If I could turn back the hands of time and do it over again, I would have been waaay more grateful for what the arbiters of sex had given me; a hot, blonde, boob enhanced ex-stripper, who wore a super short, denim skirt that revealed killer, worked out legs to boot.  She had the comforting personality of a stripper, the kind where she puts her hand on your knee and leans in to talk to you, sending shivers up and down your spine even though she only means it as a friendly gesture most of the time.  And she was like the ultimate bedroom slut.  Without getting too graphic, virtually nothing was off limits.  And she was ready to bang ANY time!

But, at the time, I thought I was above dating a blonde, former stripper airhead – just so you get an idea of how much of an airhead she was, she did fill-in puzzles, crosswords puzzles where they just give you the words, in her spare time and virtually knew nothing about politics, history or what was going on in the world – so, I didn’t take it seriously, just biding my time, while secretly feeling I should be with that kinda cute, nerdy looking hipster chick.

BOY, would do that over!

And then, after I left school, I began to realize how stupid all of that was.  Well not right away; what really helped me realize that I was being an elitist mangina was when I lived with Chris in Ypsilanti.  He took being an elitist, hipster, feminist pandering mangina to whole new heights that I did not think were possible.  At an age where I decided that the Bergman and Fellini can rest alongside the John Carptenter and Wes Craven, that I can be a fan of Can and Public Image Ltd. along with Slayer and Metallica, Chris, who is several years older than me, would still make snarky comments about my musical taste and try really hard to appease some of the local feminist hipster bitches.  On top of that, he would try to make me look stupid for having a sex drive!  Once he was talking about going to a “burlesque” show, a form of entertainment that allows manginas to look at naked women with impunity, since there’s an “arty” context behind it; burlesque shows have old time-y clothes, old time-y jokes, old time-y music and the women do an old time-y strip tease, rather than the pole dancing and dick riding that goes on at Deja Vu’s.  I say to Chris, “oh cool, do we get to see Amy naked?” and he responds with, “you’re into that sorta thing, aren’t you?”  Like, aren’t you, dude?  Last time I checked you are a heterosexual?  I know this because I actually played matchmaker in one case.

But, I digress.  The point is that people like that make you realize how dumb it is to look down on people who have different tastes from you.  I actually respect people who can nerd out on sports statistics the way that I can nerd out on bands or movies.  Although I made the point in an another article that, given the law of large numbers, you should judge a book by its cover, you might be surprised by what different people can show or teach you if you have an open mind and quit judging people by their tastes in music, movies, literature, women or their love for “sportsball.”

 

Maybe Women Just Aren’t That Into Metal

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Nope, not thinking about how she looks at all!  Totally just admiring the playing of Alice Cooper’s guitarist, Ms. Nita Strauss!

What do comic books, science fiction, roll playing games, anime, video games and heavy metal all have in common?  Think really hard about it.  So, where most intelligent people, I would think accept the fact that men will outnumber women in all of these nerd intensive hobbies by default, there will still be that Social Justice parasite, that interloper that exists for the sole purpose of ruining the fun and joy that these things bring by accusing their practitioners of not being inclusive enough.

I stumbled upon this article titled “Metal’s Problem with Women Is Not Going Away Anytime Soon“, written by a Kristy Loye for the Houston Press.  With her obviously lazy research and her almost entirely complete lack of knowledge or insight, she levies some strong accusations against the metal genre and the people who listen to it.

In the article she concludes that:

Many bands either openly encourage violence against women or fail to support legitimate female fandom, but it certainly doesn’t end there. Female metal bands are rarely booked on national tours and practically ignored by the media — and worse, the ones who make it that far get ridiculed or sexualized.

In other words, as of November 11, 2015, according to the article, metal has their proverbial Jodi Fosters up against the pinball machines.  Now, how much does the article reflect reality?  Before one even gets to the actual article, there is a picture of a band called Halestrom, who feature three faggy looking guys with nice, swooping hair cuts and a hot broad with fantastic legs, wearing those hot patterned tights that do wonders for my libido.  Beneath the picture, the caption reads: “Question: how many metal bands featuring female members — besides Halestorm, shown above — can you name?”

Let’s see.  I can name Girlschool, Rock Goddess, Bitch, Bolt Thrower, White Zombie, Blood Ceremony, Kylesa, Electric Wizard, Acid King, Arch Enemy, Huntress, Demonic Christ, Triptykon, Nashville Pussy, Jucifer, Madam X, Lita Ford and, if we want to plumb the depths of shittyness, we can even dredge up nu-metal bands like Kittie and Otep just to prove this point.  But, what point are we trying to prove?  That metal music doesn’t have enough women participating in its creation?  That this in and of itself is some sort of indication that the metal genre, as a whole, is deliberately trying to keep women out?

She then continues with this “observation”:

Even metal fandom is exclusive. Women who are metal fans come under the constant scrutiny of male metal fans, and have their motives questioned. They’re either assumed to be a poser or a girlfriend, no more than a fan by association. Often they must prove their fandom to suspicious men who require authenticity. Ridiculous.

Is that how it is?  Because, this very weekend, I was at the mighty Detroit metal/hardcore/noise/whatever festival called Berserker fest, which a.) was run by Child Bite singer Shawn Knight and his wife Veronica, b.) had plenty of women at the gig, c.) had no instances that I recall where men accused women of not being “legit” and d.) involved me partying and drinking with two metal loving women, my friend Wendy and the mighty Dawnowar, former fan club operator for Manowar.  And if there’s one band a person can claim to be blatantly sexist, it’s them.  According to Dawnowar, her experience working with Manowar might have involved quite a bit of assholishness on the part of embarrassingly not-self aware bassist/spokesman Joey Demaio, but sexism and sexual harassment were not part of her experience.  And we’re talking about the band who wrote this song:

But, assuming that is the case, where women are scrutinized more heavily to see if they’re truly part of the club or not, that’s par for the course.  Metal – and we’re talking the more extreme side of metal, not mainstream hard rock bands like Def Leppard or Motley Crue – is an outsider form of music.  Outsider music, art and hobbies always attract more men than women.  Studies show this.  In fact, you’re more likely to find women who listen to extreme metal than who like the confusing, often messy sounding jazz-fusion noodlings of Frank Zappa or Captain Beefheart.  Sure, you will find women who are into these things, but, if we’re going by the law of large numbers, it’s not as likely.

Then of course the author brings up the obligatory “objectification” argument:

For many years, metal’s message to women has been one of assignment: you can be a groupie, but not a fan or serious musician. It has failed to support women in any capacity besides as live props — objects, not subjects. It’s also guilty of encouraging a Hooters-like, bikini-model, stripper-girl atmosphere in general.

Maybe that attitude was more prevalent among glam metal musicians, so she’s not even really attacking her intended target, since anyone can attest that none of what she described happens at thrash, death, doom or black metal concerts (I wish it did, though!), but, if they did, there’s two things to say about this. 1.) When women decide to strip onstage or expose their breasts while perched atop their boyfriends’ shoulders in the audience, that is their decision; the band doesn’t make them do this.  In fact, a member of the Scorpions said that it is only in North America where this occurs.  On top of that, the groupie phenomenon is another example of the genetic differences between men and women.  Women who become groupies want to be groupies.  Popularity makes a man more desirable; or as Paul Stanley of Kiss once said, “we can do in one evening what several men spend weeks or months trying to accomplish.”  But, 2.) that “objectification” alone never prevented women from participating in music.  Lemmy, the biggest hornball of them all, still backed all girl band Girlschool simply because he liked them.  While, there aren’t many women in hard rock and heavy metal dating back to the 70s, except for maybe Heart, there has been considerably more involvement since then, and I still put the onus of becoming a musician and being in a band strictly on the women.

She continues with more tripe about female bands not headlining festivals and male fans not cheering for women.  Again, while the former is true; not many women headline metal festivals, it’s not out of some alleged discrimination; there just aren’t that many female musicians in metal and no festival promoter is going to top bill a band just to fill an affirmative action quota.  As for the second case, get over it; men cheer for bands they like regardless of the genitalia of the members.  If the members are attractive, then it’s a bonus.

And then comes the argument of the lyrics, which allegedly promote rape and violence towards women.  She makes some reasonable observations, siting some pretty damn violent lyrics by Cannibal Corpse.  But, does the band harbor an anti-woman agenda?  Are they trying to get their fans to rape and murder women?  Hardly.  I saw Cannibal Corpse once and singer George “Corpsegrinder” Fisher said onstage, “this one’s for all the ladies, it’s called ‘FUCKED… WITH… A… KNIFE!!!'”  Did the male audience members start fucking all of the women with knives?  No.  Did women feel that the male audience members would go and fuck them with knives in the parking lot?  No.  Has “Fucked with a Knife” by Cannibal Corpse led to a rise in husbands fucking all of their wives with knives?  No.  I maintain, that if you’re offended by what you hear, then don’t listen.

But, because the author of the article isn’t even good at cherry picking her “evidence” of a prevailing anti-female lyrical trend – I can find a few more examples of anti-female attitudes from metal bands, like the above Manowar song or just instances of violence towards women, such as in the rape themed, “Sex, Murder, Art” by Slayer – she sites the profanity free, PG-13 lyrics of Alice Cooper?!

The problem is nobody is taking offense to these violent lyrical themes. And if they are, they’re not speaking up about it. Alice Cooper was once quoted as saying, “There’s more blood in Macbeth than in my shows, and that’s required school reading.”

Yet there’s a stark contrast between the macabre theatrics of Cooper’s guillotine and lyrics that detail physically ripping open a woman through forced sexual contact and watching her die as a result. And even if Macbeth was bloody, it was a statement on the will to power and the attraction to corruption…and did Alice Cooper just compare himself to Shakespeare?

This last part about “forced sexual contact” is a lie.  The woman was dead for crying out loud!  And, on top of that, the theatrical piece was set to “Cold Ethyl”, a song about fucking a corpse.  So, if anything, her beef should be that Alice is promoting necrophilia!  But, on top of that, she has to throw in some slick, snarky condescension.  Alice indeed compared his show to Shakespeare, which was the popular entertainment of the Elizabethan era, and also featured some tasteless humor.  Alice has also been praised by Bob Dylan as an underrated songwriter, so you can take your “intellectual” credentials and shove ’em up yer arse!

Ah, but there’s hope after all!

Believe it or not, some bands do self-correct. Some men will stand up for women and understand that women can be equal partners in artistic expression, even in death metal. We love those men.

Speaking to Andy Marsh, guitarist for Thy Art Is Murder, he makes no attempts at backpedaling or defending the lyrical content of his band’s 2008 release, Infinite Death, which contains lyrics like, “I’m inflicting bloodshed upon bitches/ just because I hate the female race…women were born to be fucked.” In fact, he agrees they were abhorrent, and his level of discomfort with the band’s previous sexism was apparent.

Abhorrent?  How about just retarded?  But, feel free to “self-correct.”  Your lyrics will emancipate all of the women from this awful patriarchal society, in which women have their clits cut and are forced to wear burqas.

Even Whitechapel, due at Houston’s Scout Bar next Monday, has followed suit. The band responsible for such lyrics as “I ripped her fucking limb from limb,” from 2006 LP Somatic Defilement (“Vicer Exciser”), has now turned away from misogynistic lyrical content. It wasn’t easy move for a band named after the area of London where Jack the Ripper murdered at least five women, but the band felt it was a necessary move. (Right on.)

Right on!  Don’t ever sing about anything unless someone with a vagina approves of it.  You will be re-educated to think like them and they will arbitrate the correct things to sing about.

Metal is not alone in its ostracism of women — its close cousin, punk rock, was completely revamped 20 years ago. Back in the ’90s, female punk fans and musicians are credited for riding the third wave of feminism and forming their very own subgenre, Riot Grrrl, with bands like Bikini Kill, Bratmobile and L7, a spirit that even surfaced in Russia a generation later with the rise of Pussy Riot. When those women wanted opportunities in the punk scene that didn’t already exist, they simply created them. Yet even that scene wasn’t created in a vacuum.

This paragraph is a complete lie and further exemplifies the ignorance of the author.  Punk rock NEVER ostracized women and, since the mid ’70s, had more women involved than metal on both of sides of the Atlantic; Siouxsie and the Banshees, X-Ray Spex, the Adverts, the Rezillos, the Slits, Vice Squad, Penetration, the Runaways, Blondie, Patti Smith, X, the Germs, the Avengers and the Bags are just a few examples; those don’t even count New York noise rockers like Sonic Youth, Pussy Galore or Boss Hog.  Hell, if she wants to find the roots of all this turbo-slut, sex-positive feminist nonsense, she would do well to look up Lydia Lunch, the adorable looking, yet repulsively acting singer for Teenage Jesus and the Jerks.  The fact that the author makes such an audacious claim, yet doesn’t even know some of the bands I mentioned, makes me wonder if she even listens to music or if she’s just trying to ruin things with her Social Justice agenda.

And, in the final section of the piece, she mentions… ugh, War on Women.

It’s not just women who need to fight misogyny in music. War On Women’s Shawna Potter encourages men to take up the battle as well.

“While women [with people of color and the LGBQT community] must fight for our rights and humanity, men must also fight,” she says. “They must [fight] against the insulting notion that they are animals have no self-control. But first, they must see it as insulting, I suppose.

So that’s the name of the hot singer for War on Women, whose gyrations made me tight in the pants.

 

 

 

Why Are Annoying Feminist Bands Not Allowed to Have Tomatoes Thrown at Them?

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When I see the singer for the Baltimore based, feminist punk band War on Women (good fucking god), I don’t think about “smashing the patriarchy”, I think about smashing between the sheets.  Aside from those stupid, “tough grrrl” faces she makes, she’s got a good figure and made the smart choice of not doing her hair up in a punky style, letting it go all flowing and wavy. One would think a feminist punk band called War on Women would be some sort of parody, but this proselytizing, subtle as a sledge hammer nonsense is the real deal.  Watch this.

God, look at the leggings on that slut on the left.  And look at that all male rhythm section passionately bashing out a generic 4/4 pattern over which these sexy, young lasses can yell out their female rage.

Now, look, I’m all for the XX’s picking up the geetarz and bashing and smashing away just like the dudes do – I’m a fan of Girlschool, White Zombie, X-Ray Spex, the Slits, the Fall, Sonic Youth (even though their lyrics are retarded), the Adverts and the Rezillos, bands I listen to because of their music and not because of the genitalia of one or all of their members – but, once again, as the underground scene becomes more and more indoctrinated in Cultural Marxist, politically correct nonsense, the more we’re going to see bands like this who are “smashing” an imaginary patriarchy, when, in actuality, they’ve got Beta male orbiters just pining for their attention and white knights ready to protect them from “unwanted advances” at the drop of a hat.  In a scene that’s still dominated by men, being a woman, especially one that look like the ones pictured above, gives you unprecedented levels of control over the dicks of the men involved.

All that would be fine if they were just bloody honest about it!  Instead we get bogus articles such as this one from Bitchfork about the alleged “misogyny” in noise rock, singling out the band Rectal Hygienics, who I actually saw last night at Berserker Fest in Detroit.  I tend not to take an article seriously when it includes a line like this one:

As a person living in a genderfucked body that was assigned female identity at birth and has been mostly read as female by society since, Rectal Hygenics’ lyrics are exhausting and painful in a very visceral way.

Poor baby being born a WOMAN in a Western country where you don’t have to worry about having your clitoris cut, being forced to wear a burqa or becoming the victim of an honor killing.  She makes passing references to “Prayer to God” by Shellac and “No Pussy Blues” by Grinderman and acts as if respective singers Steve Albini and Nick Cave are doing something other than singing about praying to God that someone will kill his lying, cheating whore wife and her lover and the blues because he ain’t gettin’ no pussy. She then goes on to quote the “offending” lyrics of Rectal Hygienics:

“Spoiled fuck machine/ Think you’re on easy street/ You’re a slave to man and what he puts inside of you/ Stinking pack mule/ You smell like shit,”

Now these lyrics aren’t in the best of taste and I don’t know if they’re supposed to be for shock value or have a message or, in fact, even be understood at all because, when I saw them last night, I didn’t even hear lyrics; in fact, the singer wasn’t even facing the audience.  All I heard for 30 minutes was “vrrrrroooossshhh” and “pound, pound, pound.”  She does get one thing right though; they do seem like a blatant rip-off of tasteless Swedish noise rock gods, Brainbombs, who stole all of their lyrics from sick and tasteless “transgressive” shock writer Peter Sotos.  But that’s all besides the point.  Why shouldn’t “misogynistic” lyrics be allowed?  If she really stands by the mantra of “freedom of speech is not freedom from criticism”, then why is she trying to be the arbiter of what messages are “acceptable” in any genre of music?  Besides, what could she possibly have to complain about when she’s got a mangina band like Pissed Jeans emasculating themselves in the song “Male Gaze“?

it’s when a smile becomes a stare and it starts to burn
it’s when you ask him to knock it off and he doesn’t learn
the sad routine doesn’t change if he’s broke or a millionaire
there’s no getting through, that’s how it is
he’s never had to care
it’s when you’re judged before you even get to speak a word
it’s when you make the smartest point and it goes unheard
i’m not innocent – i’m guilty
i’m not innocent – but i’m sorry
it’s just the male gaze – it’s in me i know it
i feel it all around me – i wish i could destroy it
yeah it’s the male gaze – i’ve had it forever

Whoopdy-fuckin’-do!  Men look at women when they’re attractive!  Thanks for putting down your hammer on 100,000 years of evolutionary biology, ding bat!  On the other hand, Pissed Jeans is a solid AmRep revival band and I enjoyed seeing ’em live.  There was this super cute red head with glasses at the show in Detroit, but I was too much of a chicken to talk to her even though we shared a moment, making eye-contact, air guitaring and drumming in sync.  Chances are she probably would have accused me of trying to rape her if I talked to her, though.

But, at the end of the day, there is no “war on women.”  If you’re young and attractive and live in a Western country, the world is your oyster; if you don’t make stupid decisions, there is literally nothing easier than being a woman in Western society.  As Iggy Pop pointed out in “You’re Pretty Face Is Going to Hell”, you won’t be young and attractive forever, so, instead of complaining about how it’s a burden on your existence, why don’t you celebrate your privilege and sing about cool stuff like death and Satan?

She asks, “Are we supposed to sit back an [sic] appreciate this as ‘art’ for ‘art’s sake’?”  You’re not supposed to do anything.  In the words of Alice Cooper, “you are the only censor. If you don’t like what I’m saying, you can turn me off.”

And, for the guys, grow a pair and throw on Blood, Guts & Pussy by the Dwarves!

Am I Turned on by Fat Women?

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Vs.

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In the globalist/leftist/elitist bid to teach women that all bodies are good by pushing “body positivity” so that men are forced to lower their standards or drop out of the mating game altogether, I have to ask myself if I’m actually attracted to thicker/bigger/fatter women.  My penis, not the media, decides what I’m attracted to, so I decided to compare my best sexual experience with my absolute worst.

My best sexual experience is also debatable.  If we’re going by quality and uniqueness, then I’d say either my ex Melissa, who cheated on me with the Gwar singer backstage at the show at Harpos in ’04 (And, because Dave “Oderus Urungus” Brockie was possibly the least classy man in the entire punk/metal/whatever scene, he had the nerve to write a song about it!  Some of my friends try to deny me the glory, but I maintain to this day that the 2nd and 3rd verses of “The Ultimate Bohab” are at least partly about me, you jealous fux!) – man, if she used her brain like she uses her ass… – or Theresa, the white trash Marilyn Manson loving goth skank, who was 34 when we slept together in a hotel room after the Mastadon/Ghost/Opeth gig four years ago; she gave me probably the best blowjob I’d ever had.  Unlike most girls who don’t understand the concept of keeping a good rhythm or think that aggressively going up and down on the penis as if their mouths are lubed up vacuum cleaner tubes equals good oral sex, she managed to have the right combination of shaft pumping and tongue massaging until I felt myself erupt like a geyser after which, she jumped back after the first couple of squirts to admire her work, as each subsequent shot of semen fired out my urethra like bullets out of an AK-47.  Theresa was thin with a bit of curvature and some over the hill stomach flab.  I could have easily gone for another round of that, but the bitch ditched me the following week after inviting me out to Detroit’s gay goth dance club, Leland City Club.

But, I digress.  If we’re going by quantity, that is a man’s animal-like drive to want to fuck merely minutes after the previous session – sorry girls, the session ends when the guy blows his load, but most of you probably already knew that – then, I’d bestow that award onto Nikki, who would easily fall into the overweight category on the BMI chart.

We met on OKCupid, set up a date for a Friday, met and she definitely had a double chin regardless of how darn cute/pretty she was.  However, this didn’t bother at all when I saw what came with the double chin.  She dressed in the slutty rock ‘n’ roll attire, wrapping her dual basketball size ass in tight black leggings, wearing spike covered high heels and, in spite wearing a t-shirt, barely concealed her football size tits.  Plus she wore glasses and had a Canadian accent, so that was kinda cute as well.

After I got us duly wasted, I drove (real smart move, man) to a hotel and, while we were a bit drunk that night and only managed to get one fuck in, that morning was a marathon session.  I awoke naked next to this adorable person, who was curled up in a ball and also waking up, and while her enormous tits were staring at me, the first thing she said was, “I love waking up next to a horny boy.”  We did it over and over again, mainly dog style because I have the black man’s taste in big booty, and still had the double bonus of admiring her boobs from the side, which made me even more horny as I fiercely pumped away.  The fact that she had a little belly fat was not an issue, and to be perfectly honest, I prefer looser, flabby stomachs over tone ones.  I totally could have gone for another round of that as well.  It also didn’t hurt that she described the time she scissored with her roommate; that one still gives me wood when I mull it over in my brain.  Unfortunately that would be our only encounter because she didn’t like the idea of my not being legally able to drive into Windsor on account of my DUI (don’t drink and drive, kids).

So, does this alone make me a fan of fat women?  Do I have some secret fetish?  Am I secretly shilling for big brother and trying to convince guys that all women are attractive?

No, no and no!  I am NOT a fan of fat women.  I’m a fan of curvy, pear shaped women, whose genetics dictate that they have narrower shoulders, wider hips and their fat accumulates in the ass and thigh area.  Usually pear shaped women have smaller breasts, but Nikki just lucked out that the gods gave her such huge boobs.  Don’t ask me why I like looser stomachs; in proportion I find them cute and, personally I find them more feminine than overly toned stomachs.  Ladies, focus on the squats; you can do crunches, but not too many.  Oh, this also reminds me of why, in most cases, I’m for breast augmentation.  That means that, in the bidding war of genetics, women were given the pear shape and a smaller chest, which is fine.  I don’t like it the other way around where a girl is super top heavy and has no ass.

But, back to the point.  To prove my point that I don’t like fat women, I’m going to now tell about my worst sexual experience.  I was friends with a hickish beast named Jessica.  I hadn’t seen her in years, but we got to talking and messaging a lot.  Her FB pictures obscured the fact that she is possibly one of the least attractive women I have ever known; when she said she was “chubby”, I thought she meant a few pounds past curvy, but oooh no; she has an apple shape body, a type that absolutely cannot afford to let even a few pounds slip.  Her entire love life is a metaphor for political correctness; whenever there’s a problem, such as the black population’s failure to leave the ghettos, the left will find every reason imaginable except for the main one.  Similarly, when Jessica asks why all the skinny guys she likes “date” her for a day and then “disappear”, I just didn’t have the heart to tell her it’s because she looks like a blob set atop two drum sticks; I usually hem and haw before defaulting to the typical, “I don’t know, guys are weird.”

And I know what you’re going to say; “are you that stupid where you didn’t realize she wanted to start a romantic relationship with you?”  Well, I’m not, I just, once again, didn’t know how to politely back away.  So, in what I consider a purely selfless act, I bang her in a motel room (noting a pattern here?).  To a man, it was the most nauseating experience I’ve ever had with a woman.  She too has huge tits… and a huge belly and a huge pregnancy induced underbelly and narrow hips and no ass to balance any of this out.  I got on top of her, we fucked, but I didn’t cum at all.  She laid back with her eyes shut, resembling a grandma falling asleep in her reading chair, except that she had those huge boobs, which were no consolation for the horror beneath.  After we were “done”, she got up and, out of sheer, morbid curiosity I peaked at what I had just done.  Needless to say that, when she came back, I got up, went to the restroom and re-calibrated my brain by thinking of attractive women while jerking off.

Unlike the other guys that pumped and dumped her, we remained friends (until she unfriended me on FB for not being a Sanders supporter) and I even came back to Grand Rapids to meet up with her and see Weedeater.  I brought my sleazy friend Ian, and thankfully he took one for the team by fucking her while I was drunkenly passed out on the bed at the motel room we stayed at after the gig. Prior to this she got angry with me that I didn’t tell her I started seeing someone as if we were ever together.  She was still mad the next day!  I don’t get it!  She had two skinny guys give her a decent-ish roll in the hay within a two week period!  What else could she possibly want?

Anyway, the point of all this is to show that all this “body positivity” nonsense is a crock.  Rather than just teach women to be healthy, eat right and exercise, while, at the same time, maybe discuss how some men prefer different sizes within an acceptable range, rags like Huffington Post encourage obesity.  Rather than point out, as many scientific and health journals do, that, for each body type (pear, apple), there are different styles of eating, dressing and exercise to remain thin and healthy, they print nauseating articles that show skinny dudes with gross ass women and claim that “everyone is beautiful.”  Well, they’re not, so live with it.

 

Is Leftism Really a Religion?

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Yeah, we say it all the time; leftism is a religion, a sickness and a mental disorder.  But how do we exactly go about proving that?  After all, if I adhere to certain views without an ounce of proof, someone could just as easily call what I believe to be pure zealotry.  And, to be fair, people on the right have done that very thing; Todd Akin comes to mind when he claimed women rarely get pregnant from “legitimate rape” as a defense for the pro-life stance.  And, boy, did the liberal media have a field day with that one.

Liberal and conservative are just concepts that have little meaning out of context.  After all, I DO stand for classical liberalism – free market, low taxes and economic liberty without much government intrusion – but, the modern left is anything but liberal.  It’s ironic that the leftists make fun of evangelicals so much when they hold to their views with a religious fervor that puts evangelicals to shame.  In order to maintain their narrative, they’ll defy any logic and fact based reasoning, and I shall demonstrate this with three basic examples.

  1. The alleged gender based gap in pay equity: 

    Feminists and leftists contend that women only make $0.77 for every man’s dollar strictly because of gender based discrimination.  Of course we all know that’s bullshit, so we tell these feminists that the reason women only make $0.77 of every man’s dollar is because, when women go to college, they choose fields that are less marketable, such as sociology, women’s studies and communications, rather than more marketable majors such as engineering or math.  They also tend to work fewer hours and take on less stressful, less dangerous and thus less well paying jobs.  In fact this Huffington Post article says that very thing, and, if that ain’t cognitive dissonance, then I don’t know what is.  Of course a reasonable person would then say, “oh, cool, so there isn’t gender based discrimination.  I’m glad that battle is over!”  However the leftist or feminist will call you a misogynist pig or, at very least, tell you “huh, well I don’t agree with that!”  Ergo maintaining faith in the narrative.

  2.  The need for more gun control: 

    This one is really tough for leftists.  The question is always put to them whether they a. are trying eliminate guns altogether or b. whether they just want to make it tougher to obtain guns.  If their point is a., then you’re dealing with a whole different debate in which you can give all kinds of obvious and absurd examples of how useless eliminating guns would be and how that could lead to the slippery slope of implementing knife control, like they do in England or even worse pepper spray control, like they do in Finland, where they teach women to defend themselves from rapists by using the force (notice how the “potential rapist” is a lily white guy and not a Muslim Arab, because portraying the population that ACTUALLY commits the crimes is “racist”).  However, if you’re talking to an honest leftist (which is rare) and this person doesn’t actually want to eliminate guns, but just wants to make it harder to get them, you simply point out that the places with the highest gun crime rates have the strictest gun control measures and that the crimes are committed by hood rats who own illegal firearms.  On top of that, show them that nice areas with nearly zero gun control have zero gun crime, in spite the fact that most of the citizens have a mini arsenal in their homes.  This Bill Whittle video should do nicely.  There, proven!  The person should have one less leftist belief, right?  Well, according to my former friend and ardent, dedicated leftist zealot Ernesto Yermoli: “I’m not watching a video where the guy calls people ‘weanies’.  Edwin, I have friends in Europe who are TERRIFIED of our pro-gun culture.”  Well, Ernesto, I have friends who are terrified of black people, what of it?  The narrative will be maintained.

  3. White police officers are out to get blacks: 

    As the clear and simple evidence shows, police officers are bigots and it’s open season on unarmed, black teenagers.  After all, Darren Wilson shot Michael Brown and Brown was unarmed.  Now, all you have to do to debunk this absolutely silly notion is remember how Michael Brown was strong arming the owner of a convenience store for cigarettes, charged a police officer and tried to grab a gun away from him and that all of the witnesses who allegedly saw the incident lied about it.  On top of that, you have to consider that, like the Trayvon Martin case, the media decided to make it a national news story, rather than a local one and, in the latter case, turned the Hispanic George Zimmerman into a white man.  You also have to look at the statistics, which say that police officers shoot white people way more than they shoot black people, that officers have actually become more reluctant to shoot at blacks for fear of being accused of racism and that the net result of cops deciding not to do their jobs for fear of being accused of racism lead to a huge spike in the murder rate in Baltimore, in which gangs settled all of their scores.  It doesn’t hurt to mention that people living in black neighborhoods prefer to have a police presence to keep their neighborhoods from turning into total bedlam.  Of course, once you explain all of that, hopefully that’s one less leftist view that person will have.  But, things aren’t that easy.  The leftist is sick in the head doesn’t think that way.  Instead he/she/it will say, “YOU’RE RACIST!!! MICHAEL BROWN WAS UNARMED AND DARREN WILSON SHOT HIM!!!  DARREN WILSON IS WHITE, MICHAEL BROWN IS BLACK, THEREFORE RACISM!!!!” Again the narrative will be maintained.

 

Sometimes I wonder where this extreme narcissism and inability to listen to facts comes from.  My friend Dan told me that, as long as I have solid evidence with which to present my points, then people will be reasonable and listen.  If that was the case, then why does Bernie Sanders have a career?