Racist Chicks Turn Me On!

me_racist_girls_turn_me_onThe easiest ways to make me not want to talk to you if you’re a girl include, but are not limited to, the following:

a.) calling yourself “non-binary” or any of the other made-up, nonsensical gender designations that fall outside of “girl”, “woman”, “gyno-American” or “person who was born with a vagina, a uterus and an XX chromosome.”

b.) referring to the poor rube that you roped into a relationship as your “partner”, rather than your boyfriend

c.) asserting your political views over my biological needs.

I remember telling a former lady friend – oh hell, it was Sara B, who recently tagged me in a Facebook post telling our old friends to avoid me because I’m “raciss” or some shit – about a date I went on, where the girl said something along the lines of “I don’t have a problem with the good ones”, referring to black people. She could have been referring to Jews, but casually racist girls – who I find pretty hot, as the title of this piece says  – typically don’t think deeply enough to consider whether Jews are a religion, race or ethnicity; to them I’m just a white guy.

As a matter of fact, I was hanging out with some friends, and this cute chick saw me pull out my old flip phone and asked me if I’m Jewish, implying that I’m too cheap to get a smart phone. I said, “yeah… was that just a guess?” And she said, “I just kinda figured.” Then we had a brief discussion about whether it would make more sense for me to have already owned a smart phone since, given my background, I can allegedly afford all of the latest and greatest in technology (and I did eventually get a smart phone, but that’s besides the point). Regardless, this wasn’t a value judgment on her part; just a curious observation. NUTTIN’ WRONG WITH THAT!!!

Then I asked the big one: “do you consider me white?” She seemed rather bemused by my question. I’ll let the AltRighters in the audience ponder what her answer was.

But anyway, I was telling Sara about this date, and her response to my date’s claim of “I don’t have a problem with the good ones” was so typical of the SJW dogooder: “HOW COULD YOU DATE SOMEONE LIKE THAT?! OH MY GAWD, I CAN’T BELIEVE PEOPLE THINK LIKE THAT IN (insert the current year)! Dude, I hope you really consider not seeing this person. Or if you do, at least tell her how big of a racist piece of shit she is, and THEN don’t see her again.”

Easy for you to say, toots. You may deliberately be trying to make yourself look as ugly as possible with the weird, unnatural hair colors and your nerd glasses and your preachy, off-putting attitude, but that hasn’t stopped you from having an army of guys lining up to date you.

Me? On a good day, I’m a 7.5 and can land a decent looking chick if I put a modicum of effort into it; in fact a second after I wrote the last sentence, I caught a cute Asian chick checking me out. HOWEVER, I don’t have it as easy as you. SO DON’T TRY TO TELL ME WHO I CAN AND CAN’T DATE, YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS BITCH.

But then it got me thinking; there IS a certain charm that comes from a girl who unashamedly makes statements like, “I don’t have a problem with the good ones” or asks questions like “are you Jewish?” I find that level of innocence and lack of ideological bias to be incredibly cute and refreshing. And honestly, do you really think, when someone says “I have no problem with the goods ones”, that he or she has any particular malice behind his or her words, or that he or she wish to do harm to the people who he or is talking about? If you answered “yes” to either of these questions, I highly suggest you seek treatment for your paranoia.

I remember reading an OKCupid profile where a girl insisted that no black men contact her. Horrible and racist, isn’t it? Well, I messaged her, and it turns out that she actually dated a black man for several years, and in the last year of their relationship, he beat the living shit out of her. I think, in her case, we can give her a pass. Her experiences with a black man, one who I’m assuming was more Tupac Shakur, than Sidney Poitier, has forever colored (no pun intended) her experience with the “black experience.” If you blame HER for her “racism”, YOU’RE a domestic violence apologist. She also complained that she only gets hit on by blacks. Sweetie, with an enormous – and dare I say, rather cute – bubble butt like that, what do you expect? I’ll be your knight in shiny Jewish armor, but you gotta stop with the country music. At least the modern kind.

But the bottom line is twofold. The first is that dates are SO MUCH MORE fun when they don’t turn into political debates. And the second is that, provided a woman hasn’t been brainwashed by the the Marxist propaganda in the media or the university she goes to, she is an ideological blank slate; the only strong opinions women hold are those that directly affect them and their little worlds. Isn’t the recent “red pilling” of longtime internet feminist Laci Green a perfect example of this? She spent years vituperating against “patriarchy” and “rape culture”, and then an anti-feminist man comes along and sweeps her off her feet, and now she’s no longer a feminist.

My tattoo artist and friend told me, “if a woman is into something really cool, thank her previous boyfriend.”

Geez, I’ll give women more credit than that. Thus far, at 33 years of age, I’ve dated, slept with and/or kinda fallen in love with a corrections officer, an oral hygienist, a World War II history major, a nerdy librarian, a tattoo artist, a school teacher, a restaurant cook, a bunch of women who I have no idea what they did/do and two ex-strippers, one of whom has realistic looking fake boobs and does “fill-in puzzles” (hey, Jo!).

None of them EVER tried to police my language, and many surprised me with their rather course choice of words regarding various races and/or ethnic groups; Tasha, my super hot former manager at the Sunglass Hut, which I rudely quit without giving any notice, blatantly said that she doesn’t like Mexicans after someone (who you can assume is Mexican) tried to steal a pair of sunglasses. Just like that! Can you imagine what would have happened if I recorded what she said and reported it? When I was in college, my ex Melissa (the chick that fucked Dave “Oderus Urungus” Brockie of Gwar), printed up the lyrics to “Nasty Boy” by Notorious BIG, taped them to the door of her dorm room and posted “Celebrate Black history month” above it. Just in case you’re wondering, here are some of the lyrics:

Then we came home, mad messages was on my phone
Bitch named Simone
Screamin, she fiendin for the semen
Me bein the man that I am
Took it to her condo pronto
Half Indian, I called her Tonto
Roll the chron’chron’ in the dark pronto
Few puffs, eyes got low
And off to the bedroom we go
Sex is drama, head is trauma
Ripped pajamas, I’ma stay ’til tomorrow
Satisfying all my needs twice
With whipped cream, handcuffs and ice
The bitch is nice, word is bond
Can’t wait to put my niggas on, what? What?

She was pretty funny.

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