I Advocate AlleGORical Violence Against CNN

cnn_must_be_destroyedKnown alternately as the Corporate News Network, the Communist News Network and the Clinton News Network, CNN, a channel that less inquisitive minds have decided is the “centrist” and “balanced” news channel between a right wing Fox and a left wing MSNBC, committed what can only be described as an act of terrorism and intimidation.

The story goes something like this; a 15 year old kid created a gif – for you non-tech savvy Luddites, a gif is a constantly moving image loop thingy that resembles a short film that lasts for a couple of seconds before looping again – that was pulled from a brief clip of Donald Trump’s appearance on a World Wrestling Federation event from a decade ago. In the gif, the Donald and some other wrestler get into it in true, funny ‘n’ fake wrastlin’ fashion. In fact here is the gif.


Pretty funny, eh? So funny, in fact, that Donald Trump re-tweeted it. Well, apparently CNN didn’t think so. They were so butthurt by the tweet that they decided to find the kid who made the gif, contact him and threaten to dox him. Don’t believe me? They blatantly say so themselves.

CNN is not publishing “HanA**holeSolo’s” name because he is a private citizen who has issued an extensive statement of apology, showed his remorse by saying he has taken down all his offending posts, and because he said he is not going to repeat this ugly behavior on social media again. In addition, he said his statement could serve as an example to others not to do the same.

CNN reserves the right to publish his identity should any of that change.

That’s right; CNN bullied a 15 year old kid into making a public apology for a gif in which Donald Trump pulls a phony wrestling move against a phony opponent in the most well known form of phony sports entertainment. Their reason?

The Committee to Protect Journalists said in a statement this week that the tweet “undermines the work of the media in the U.S. and makes it more dangerous.” CNN said in a statement that the tweet “encourages violence against reporters.”

Their claim is that he advocated violence against the press. First of all, as I JUST SAID, the kid used pro-wrestling, a phony form of violence, the kind where nobody ACTUALLY gets hurt, to make his point. In fact people get much more seriously hurt in professional American football games. I wonder if they would have thought he was advocating violence if Donald Trump was dressed in football gear and tackled a player from an opposing team. But secondly, and more importantly, it was a form of SATIRE and ALLEGORY. He didn’t LITERALLY want Donald Trump to pummel members of the press.

I know the mainstream media is full of leftist retards, but surely THEY understand the concept of allegory. I mean, when I was 12 years old, listening to the Corrosion of Conformity song “Dance of the Dead”, where the singer goes, “if the system had one neck, you know I’d gladly break it”, I knew even THEN that he wasn’t advocating breaking the necks of ACTUAL PEOPLE.

But who knows? Maybe they ARE that stupid. So, I decided to find out by doing a little experiment that I hope will turn into a popular hashtag. I’ve decided to find violent imagery from various horror movies, real crime photos and whatnot, slap the CNN logo onto it, post it all over Facebook, Twitter, Reddit and Instagram (actually I don’t have a Reddit or Instagram account, but I know many other people who do) and see what happens. The image at the very top was pulled off of the cover from the 1992 Gwar LP, America Must Be Destroyed. Now, Gwar have had their own problems with censorship in the 90s, where they were charged with obscenity in their hometown of Richmond, VA during one of their shows, so I wonder how they feel about the CNN incident.

Are they full-on advocates of free speech, or do they only believe in free speech when attacking “acceptable” targets like Republicans, the Christian right and the Catholic church? I mean, I already know how they feel about Donald Trump (hint: they hate him), but would they be so bold as to do one of these?


Who knows? What I do know is that, if CNN feels that a gif of Trump body slamming someone in the phoniest sport of all time is advocating violence against the press, then they’ll have a field day when they see their logo slapped onto images such as this:

or this…
or this…
or, heck, why not this…

I bet you can come up with something way better in Photoshop or Microsoft Paint. But either way, the point of this little exercise is to be as gruesome, tasteless and violent as possible. After all this IS a form of alleGORY. And make sure to attach the hashtag #destroyCNN whenever you post your demented creations online because CNN is the enemy of free speech, and it must be destroyed.

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