On a Facebook thread, one of my buddies responded to my snarky comment “Then you would be mistaken; it [affirmative action] applies to anyone who is allegedly ‘oppressed.'” by saying, “So about 99% of the country, then.”  Damn right 99% of the country is oppressed.  I’m not part of the “1%”, so I must be part of the “99%” of oppressed people, and it got me thinking; how exactly am I oppressed?  Well, I’ll tell you gosh darn it!  Every single week that is!  In fact, inspired by Punk magazine’s top 40/bottom 40 list, every week, I’m going to throw out a list of 40 things that are oppressing ME as an American citizen.  So, without further ado, here is my top 40 things that are oppressing me this week!

1. Getting up at 5 in the morning for work four days out of the week
2. Pot holes
3. Speed limits
4. Tailgaters
5. Tailgaters who flash their brights at you
6. Tailgaters who tailgate even though you’re driving the speed limit
7. Ben Shapiro
8. Knowing that Gavin McInnes writes for Taki’s AND is on Greg Gutfeld’s show.
9. Risk by Megadeth
10. Movies with too much CGI
11. Not having my awesome interview with Ben Shapiro article go viral
12. Not getting to skydive today
13. Having to pay $163 to the government
14. The social stigma of not tipping a waitress even when she’s particularly lousy at her job
15. Lousy map quest directions
16. Getting a male server in a bar where all of the other servers are women who wear super tight black tights
17. Being ignored by Truthsayer, one of the popular Jew haters on Takimag’s comment section
18. When the light is a fresh green, but the person at the head of the line is in la la land and takes five seconds to get moving
19. Not having Lemmy around anymore
20. The Velvet Underground
21. “Intellectual” hip hop
22. Drone metal
23. People who think Slayer is a left wing band
24. ZZ Top replacing the drum track on their early albums with an 80s style drum track
25. My ex Holly, who has a huge ass (which I like), but only likes Tomahawk for Mike Patton and not Duane Denison, Kevin Rutmanis or John Stanier
26. The singer of Ghost, who ruins an otherwise awesome band
27. Overpriced beer
28. People who compare bands to other bands that aren’t like those bands in any way
29. People who think Islam is a race
30. People not recognizing that Homer Simpson in a moo moo is proto trans
31. People who listen to Anal Cunt and then yell at me for being offensive
32. Schindler’s List
33. Ernesto Yermolli
34. People who question you when you use certain slang words, rather than just listening to what you have to say
35. Mark Prindle
36. Spergs
37. Narcissists
38. People who use your arguing techniques against you, in spite not having an actual counter-argument
39. The Saw movies
40. When Page Hamilton started singing his lyrics, instead of shouting them